Etiquette Guide to Japan. Boye Lafayette De Mente

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Etiquette Guide to Japan - Boye Lafayette De Mente

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      REVISED AND EXPANDED THIRD EDITION

      ETIQUETTE GUIDE TO

       JAPAN

      Know the rules that

       make the difference!

      BOYÉ L AFAYETTE DE MENTE

       RE VISED BY GEOFF BOT TING

      TUTTLE Publishing

       Tokyo | Rutland, Vermont | Singapore

      Contents

Introduction
Notes on the Japanese Language
Preface
1Origins of Japanese Etiquette
2The Role of Harmony
3The Vertical Society
4Samurai Legacies
5Language in Japanese Etiquette
6The Use of Names
7Using Titles
8When & How to Bow
9Shaking Hands the Japanese Way
10The Protocol of Seating
11Dining Etiquette
12The Japanese Way of Drinking
13Paying Bar & Restaurant Bills
14Public Etiquette
15Electronic Etiquette
16Using (& Surviving) Public Transportation
17Bath & Toilet Protocol
18The Importance of Gift Giving
19Japan’s Home-Visiting Etiquette
20Tea Ceremony Protocol
21Japan’s Festival Culture
22The Importance of the Apology
23Expressing Appreciation
24Dating in Japan
25Wedding Customs
26Wakes, Funerals & Memorial Services
27Shrine & Temple Etiquette
28Inns as Portals to Japan’s Past
29The Art of Arts & Crafts
30People-Watching
31Japan’s Greening
32Business in Japan
33Business Etiquette—the Younger Generation
34The Changing Role of Foreigners in the Workplace
35Introductions & Relationships
36Name Cards & How to Exchange Them
37Vague Language
38Criticism Taboos
39The Pitfalls of Praise in Japan
40Sayonara—“If it must be so!”
Glossary of Useful Terms
Glossary of IT Terms
Index

      Introduction

      “Pack your bags. You’re headed to Japan!”

      Your boss can be unpredictable and demanding, and this is no exception. You’re being sent off to Tokyo with no time to prepare. You have a ticket, passport, a hastily packed suitcase and little else.

      After arriving at Narita Airport, you take the train into the city, and, to your relief, much of the place seems familiar and well organized. Roads, cars, pedestrians, towering buildings. A comfortable climate. But then you start to notice a few things that are quite unlike anything you’ve ever seen.

      About a quarter of the population is going about its daily lives while wearing what appear to be surgical masks. Have you arrived during an epidemic?

      Some restaurants are fronted by food samples . . . made of plastic. Step inside, and the guy behind the counter immediately shouts something right at you. How do you respond? Should you respond?

      A ride down an escalator is accompanied by a recorded announcement delivered by a high-pitched robot-like female voice. What is she saying? And is she trying to tell you something important?

      When you meet your Japanese client, not only does he shake your hand, but he bows, and continues to hold on to your business card in both hands as if it were a precious museum piece. Should you do the same?

      Arriving in Japan for the first time is an unforgettable experience, exhilarating and enlightening—but at the same time confusing. Over the centuries, this island nation has developed its own elaborate set of formalities and manners. A few have roots in China, but many are uniquely Japanese. Nearly all were developed for specific reasons, and even have a pragmatic role to play. So forget that outdated stereotype about the “inscrutable Japanese.”

      That’s why you need to read this book. It will equip you with a thorough understanding of Japanese etiquette to smooth your experiences and help avoid embarrassment. Moreover, this book is entertaining and educational, giving you an insight into the customs of one of the world’s most fascinating societies.

      Notes on the

       Japanese Language

      Much of the writing that you see in Japan consists of the language’s famous ideographic characters or kanji (kahn-jee). But virtually all of the bus, subway, train, hotel, restaurant, and shop signs and names you encounter will also be written in the familiar Roman letters of the English language. These Romanized words make the Japanese language surprisingly easy for Westerners to pronounce.

      Japanese is based on five vowels and a number of consonants that are combined to create an alphabet of syllables that never change. The result is that there are no “weird” or unexpected spellings or pronunciations of Japanese words, unlike in English and many other languages.

      Once you learn how to pronounce the vowels and the vowel-consonant combinations, you know how to pronounce every word in the Japanese language. The five Japanese vowels are represented by the Roman letters A, I, U, E, and O. They are pronounced as follows:

A ah
I ee
U uu as in rue
E eh
O oh

      These vowels are “syllables” in themselves and are key elements in the vowel-consonant combinations that make up the rest of the Japanese alphabet. The following charts include all of the syllables in the Japanese language, along with their English phonetic equivalents. Just pronounce the phonetics in standard English and the sounds will come out “in Japanese.”

      Primary Syllables

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KA KI KU KE KO
kah kee kuu kay