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First published in Great Britain by Practical Inspiration Publishing, 2019
© Kirsten de Bouter Shillam, 2019
The moral rights of the author have been asserted
ISBN 978-1-78860-120-7 (print)
978-1-78860-119-1 (epub)
978-1-78860-118-4 (mobi)
All rights reserved. This book, or any portion thereof, may not be reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
Every effort has been made to trace copyright holders and to obtain their permission for the use of copyright material. The publisher apologises for any errors or omissions and would be grateful if notified of any corrections that should be incorporated in future reprints or editions of this book.
What’s itching to get your attention?
The brain – leaning over to the right?
Take a hint from your mind and body
Time travelling to explore your itch
From scared of life to a sacred life
The chronic scarcity of confidence
The every-year itch and your well-being
Feed the machine and run the engine
Be in your element - it’s ele-meant to be
The experiment - trying on for size
Coaching: guru-free but guided?
If your life was a currency, how would you spend it?
MY REASONS FOR WRITING THIS BOOK
Across my 24 years of working with people I have come across so many great people confining themselves to doing average things. They feel like imposters, they suffer fear and low confidence and end up playing small. They follow the herd instead of carving out their own path. I’ve worked with some of you and what a pleasure it has been to see you find your element and see you shine. Life and work doesn’t get any better than that.
As part of the book-writing process I’ve come across extraordinary stories of people who have actioned their itch or just decided to do life differently. Interestingly, most of you have embarked on a humbling life’s journey and often didn’t recognise at all that the processes and the results you keep having are an inspiration. These stories need to be shared. There is so much strength and motivation in knowing that you (and I) are not alone.
To my Dad in heaven and to my Mum and “big” sis – you all too often reminded me of the securities in life and the ways life is supposed to be done. I understand that on the face of it, my life was anything but conformist. You were however always genuinely right. But still I believe there is more than one way of doing something; there are hundreds of ways and doing it differently is mine.
I’ve written this book to lead by example and action my own itch. I want to forge the way; not be the one that just says the nice words. This book is my itch, my unapologetic document of my conviction that there is more to every person, that life can be filled in as many ways as there are individuals and in doing so each makes a contribution to the rich tapestry of life.
This book signifies a start not a conclusion. I want to open the conversation, not prescribe a way of life. I want to invite you to try and colour outside the lines, think inside-out, find your element and ultimately action your every-year itch time and time again.
DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE THIS?
BE TRUTHFUL
Do you ever get that feeling that something isn’t quite right? A sense that aspects of your life aren’t flowing, or that the emphasis is on all the wrong things? Do you at times feel uncomfortable, out of sync without being able to explain eloquently exactly what is the matter? When somebody asks what’s the matter, you say “oh, nothing”.
Do you wish you were in a different job/town/country, running a company, training to become the fittest you, planning for a trip, learning a new skill? Do you wish you were challenging yourself in art, in public speaking, in writing, in connecting, in learning, in slowing down, in living with more integrity?
Maybe you feel bored and uninspired. You used to get upset about it, but now you just feel resentful and bitter. You wonder what the hell is wrong with you when the rest of the world seems to have it all sewn up. Why them?! Has cynicism become your general mode of translation, or are you crippled by self-doubt?
Your body talks to you. It tells you stop, but you don’t listen. It tells you refuel, but you carry on. It tells you stretch, but you stick to what’s familiar. Faithfully your body supports
