and spirit are involved with changing our lives. Some of the exercises just might bring up the questions you were hoping would go away or truths you have turned away from. We’ve all done that. Following through with the exercises builds consciousness through the shift, and using new or atrophied emotions helps trigger the momentum of change. Sometimes the best we can do is to just figure out the questions and take small, deliberate steps as an answer, and that is the best place to begin. We know all these answers already of what brings us joy and how we want our lives to be, but we may have to quiet the noise that has drowned these voices out. We will reach inside to bring out the thoughts that bring us maximum joy and begin the journey leading with these emotions for a change.
You may balk at certain steps in the process and have to repeat others before you are ready to move further along. Take this on in your own time, at your own speed. We all learn differently. It may be challenging at first, and uncomfortable, and probably unfamiliar. Part of the challenge is to stay there and not fall back into the familiar. It is easier to go from a place of pain to a place of joy than to go from a place of complacency to a place of joy. From complacency we tend to sink into fear and unhappiness, rather than making the leap to euphoria. The tasks and assignments are designed for you to create subtle energy shifts and to refocus emotional cues to carry you through. Hopefully, you will integrate some of them into your life permanently. You may need to learn to walk again when you just got used to running everywhere, but when you begin to feel the momentum of change, you will feel the power of the energy within and around you. You will be amazed. And that is the point of life, after all.
■ CH-CH-CHANGES ■
Many women I know, including myself, react the same way to dramatic (or traumatic) change in our lives—we cut and/or dye our hair. I am certain I do it as a catalyst for change. It’s so immediate and doesn’t take months or years, like dieting or learning French. I’m known as the “woman of a thousand hairstyles” by my friend David because every time he sees me, my hair is different. Somehow telling myself, “It is only hair, it will grow back,” gives me permission to change other aspects of my life and slip into other personas. Sometimes I find the motivation and courage to venture into the unknown, the untried territories of spiritual discovery. Small changes are a good way to begin. If a small external change is going to inspire you to make courageous internal changes, then take that small bite and see what happens.
My hair has gotten pretty short since I began writing this book. It has been a joyful and challenging journey. I believe what I have written with all of my heart. I offer it with the intention of inspiring you to act with grace as often as you can and to find joy on the journey you are on now or the new path yet to be discovered, yet to be embraced.
I urge you to accept both the missteps and the triumphs on your journey. In doing so, you may reveal your personal source springs of courage. You may become more mindful of the world around you, stay longer in a place of joy and wonder, and find a deeper gratitude for all that is present and possible in your life. Take away what inspires you and leave what doesn’t. Through the many stories I tell in the book, you may find the world a little bit smaller; you just might feel reassured to know that you are not alone with your questions, reactions, or dreams. Better yet, my hope is that they will inspire you on your journey of self-discovery. Through working with this book, may you discover what ignites your spirit.
P.S. You will come across quotes from writers, poets, and inspirational voices throughout the book. Read all the quotes out loud when you come across them, even if you have read/heard them before. You may hear something you didn’t allow through your filters last time, so listen between the lines. Read each line slowly, digest it, roll around in it, dance on it. You will likely hear something for the first time.
■ THE HARD PARTS DISCUSSION ■
Significant change of any kind requires looking inward and understanding the energy of where we are and who we are. You are the only one who can change your life. I repeat: You are the only one who can change your life. No program, book, or seminar does it for you. The process of change begins the very moment you think about something differently. Some of the steps toward change are emotionally challenging and involve time, thou and action. It may take you longer to work through some stages than others. You will meet resistance at every step, from yourself and from others close by in your world. It is hard enough to deal with your own fears without absorbing other people’s, too. You will have to take extra care not to let other folks derail you on your journey. Remember how far you have come by focusing on the desire for change; things are already in motion. I will try to provide tools along the way, but you will have to do the hard parts. Allowing can be a hard part, at first. Sometimes it may seem difficult just to water the plants, greet the sunrise, or walk the dog, but these simple activities are the place to begin practicing to notice, to appreciate, and to do so passionately—every cell in your body will respond to these feelings of joy.
■ GETTING OUT OF THE WAY ■
Poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote about transforming joy from within for the most significant impact. Transforming joy within does not mean blindly jumping right into the action phase of change, but looking before we leap—understanding the authentic needs and desires for change and our motivations for initiating the movement, then getting ourselves out of the way, and just sitting back and letting it happen. We do need to be at peace with where we must begin, which is at the truth.
We are the only ones in the way of getting everything that we want and having a joyful, abundant life. It may be easier to assign blame to everyone who ever made an appearance in your life, but every day, all day, we make decisions with information we experience. We decide not only how to physically respond to people, places, and things but how to respond emotionally and spiritually. We may or may not be conscious of how we are responding. If we are conscious of what kind of energy we are directing at someone or something, it may be a learned, self-conditioned response that does not get us anywhere but into an emotional rut. We have the choice to respond differently each and every time.
The universe will respond to movement or change, no matter how small, conscious or unconscious. It has to, for energy shifts of any size are met with a response—action, reaction. One change in the system changes the whole system itself. Not only will you be different at the end of the new road, but your immediate and the greater universes will be altered along with you. Effortless turnarounds do not exist at this level of spiritual transformation, however. This is the hardest work you will ever do. Once you find your new rhythm, though, you can flow through life with greater ease with tools to cut yourself free from the brambles if you get caught up.
■ REMEMBERING HOW TO WALK ■
There is good reason why most of us cannot succeed with the all-action-oriented “just do it” attitude: it sets us up to fail. Overnight, dramatic change is usually fleeting. You can’t wake up and say to yourself, “I am going to go out and run ten miles today,” if you haven’t moved off the couch in six years. Well, you can say it, but I am not sure how far you will actually get. You can’t run ahead of yourself emotionally, either. “I will never say a mean thing about anyone, and I will definitely never eat another cookie so long as I live.” You are just setting yourself up for disappointment with that approach. If you ignore the emotional and spiritual steps, the change will have nothing to anchor itself to, nothing more than vapor. This is a training or retraining process. Micromovements in focus and emphasis are all that are required. I learned that on a physical plane in yoga class. Micromovements have a tremendous impact on the whole experience. The physical carries over into the emotional and spiritual realms in yoga, and that is true in life as well.
■ I DON’T KNOW HOW THEY KEEP FINDING ME ■
This may sound like a familiar story. Don’t stop reading if you have heard it or lived it before. Read it again just to make sure. After being lied to and cheated on and taken advantage of for several years, a friend of mine left a bad relationship. This was a good final
