Close your eyes and take a moment to follow your breath as it flows in and out.
February 23
Your loved one was and is an extraordinary gift in your life. Remember, the gift does not become less valuable simply because the form and packaging have changed. Although it may seem as if the gift have been wrenched from you, in fact, the beautiful aspects of the gift continue to shower down upon you.
Today
Give a gift in honor of your loved one.
February 24
Grief has an amazing ability to cut through the superficialities of life. Life takes on stark meaning when you realize how fragile it is. Life, in fact, never quite looks the same once you've encountered the sharp reality of death. The question is, How will this awareness shape your remaining days?
Today
Reflect on what matters to you now.
February 25
You will find that some people simply do not understand your process, your grief. They may say things that appear insensitive or unkind (such as suggesting that you “move on”). Know that it is not their wish to be unsupportive. We live in a pain-averse culture, and people will go to great lengths to minimize and mask it. Rather than feel insulted, use each opportunity as a chance to educate people about love, about grief, and about pain. One day, they too will understand.
Today
Tell someone about how the grief experience is for you.
February 26
Your goal is not to forget about your loved one or move into a life in which they don't exist. Your goal, for now, is to be with grief. Your goal, with time, is to learn to live with loss and integrate it into your life. Your goal, now and always, is to hold your loved one close, letting the love you share radiate within and beyond you.
Today
Hold your hand over your heart. Feel the love.
February 27
Grieving, the work of processing the pain of loss, is a bit like a job. It takes up your time and your energy, especially in the first few years after a major loss. Know that as you cry, as you mourn, as you draw into your shell, you are doing your job very well.
Today
Be assured that when you do the work of grieving, you are courageous.
February 28
What does it mean to “move on”? It means to keep your loved one ever in your heart as you begin to open to life and reconnect to the living. Over time, slowly, when the choice comes to keep living, you will “move forward” with your loved one, who is ever a part of you. If you're not there yet, be patient. If you're getting closer, be gentle. If you're already there, keep your heart open.
Today
Know that as you move forward, you carry your beloved with you.
March 1
There is no expiration date on grieving. Even if your loss happened years ago, now could be the time to revisit feelings that you didn't honor way back when. Know that grief can be opened, examined, felt, and processed many years after the loss. It's never too late to grieve. Perhaps now is the time.
Today
Look back in time . . . Is there a loss from the past that is waiting for your attention?
March 2
Notice how you are supported in your grief . . . through friends who understand, family, online communities, religious groups, mentors, and counselors. Know that needing support is not a weakness—it is a sign of being human. We all need and deserve to be supported on our journey.
Today
Call a friend and let them know how you're really feeling.
March 3
It is natural after a loss to ask the question, “Why?” However, we will likely not know the answer to that question in this lifetime. A different question to ask is, “What now?” Living into the answer of that question means to learn, grow, keep your heart open, reach out to others, keep your relationship with your dear one vibrant, find meaning, and turn your attention to those still here.
Today
Ask the question, “What now?” and be open to living into an answer.
March 4
Give yourself time to grieve, to ride the waves of pain, to share with others, to reach out, and to draw in. Give yourself time to turn toward grief, to express your feelings, to learn, and then, bit by bit, to begin to embrace life. Let yourself be in the process of grief and know that you will be supported by a love that is woven into the fabric of your being.
Today
Give your grief time.
March 5
With grief, it is as if you are living in a well of tears. The well is deep with the accumulated pain of profound loss. However, at the bedrock of the well is a foundation of gratitude. It may be difficult to contact it, but gratitude is there. Aren't you grateful for having had this beloved person in your life, for their love, for your love for them, for having had the privilege of knowing and loving them?
Today
Remember that gratitude is your bedrock.
March 6
The Old English root of the word bereavement means “to rob.” You will often feel like you have been robbed of your loved one, of precious time with them. Know that it is normal to have this feeling, and allow yourself to recognize the preciousness of your loss.
Today
