Drink Like a Geek. Jeff Cioletti

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Drink Like a Geek - Jeff Cioletti

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A lot of other people my age and older do as well. We’re the Star Wars generation—Gen Xers who grew up with the original trilogy. We’re a nostalgic lot. And now, a lot of us happen to drink whisk(e)y as well. We haven’t traded one hobby for the other. And that’s why Scotch Trooper has been so successful. We’re excited to see millennials and the up-and-coming Generation Z getting as stoked about some of these franchises as we are.

      “The reason my account blew up the way it did, at least in my eyes, is that the people who grew up with Star Wars are now at that prime age for getting into whiskey, for getting into spirits in general,” Ferencz notes. “Being able to see characters they grew up loving interacting with the spirits they’re now getting into—it really kind of catapulted what I was doing, that perfect marriage.”

      There’s really not much of a difference between the passion that drives Star Wars fans and the passion that fuels whisk(e)y aficionados.

      “A geek who gets into Star Wars and dives into finding everything out about characters and their origins is very similar to the way we look at whiskey,” he explains. “It’s not just a spirit we drink to get drunk with friends. We dive into everything about distilleries, find out what barley they’re using, what kind of casks are being married in and the differences between those. There are so many different elements to dive into, so it makes that perfect connection between the two.”

      Darth Malt

      If this book were a game show, this would be the speed round. I asked Ferencz to come up with the right whiskies to pair with particular moments throughout the Star Wars saga. (And, yes, that includes the prequels. Sorry!)

      Classic Trilogy

      A New Hope: The Cantina

      The iconic watering hole in Tattooine’s port city of Mos Eisley is everything you’d expect it to be: gritty, sleazy, and more than a little bit dangerous.

      Since the Cantina is essentially the Wild West, Ferencz thinks a “cheap-ass bourbon” would be the drink of choice. I am on board for that. His suggestion is kind of refreshing since so much of today’s bourbon consumption is about high-priced connoisseurship. Sometimes it’s okay to drink like a cowboy. So, pour yourself a glass of Old Granddad and immerse yourself in that “wretched hive of scum and villainy.”

      Empire Strikes Back: Darth Vader’s Bespin Banquet

      Vader would be honored if you would join him for a few glasses of the lightly peated Compass Box No Name Blended Scotch. “This is exactly where my mind went when you said ‘Darth Vader,’ ” Ferencz says. “It’s a very Vader-ish bottle.” Indeed it is. The label is an opaque black.

      Return of the Jedi: Post-Battle of Endor Celebration

      You just blew up the second Death Star. What are you going to do? Take it from the Scotch Trooper. When you’re dancing around the Ewok village, you’re going to want to be sipping Lagavulin 16. “At least for me, that’s always my go-to when I feel like I’ve accomplished something,” Ferencz reveals. “It’s something that’s accessible, but feels like it’s a step above. You want it to be accessible, not something like Balvenie 30.”

      Prequels (I Warned You)

      The Phantom Menace

      This one is more about what happens on the other side of the screen. Sure, Episode I has its fans—hell, even I saw the damn thing nine times in theaters, wanting to like it—but it really is the low point of the saga.

      “You need a Laphraoiag ten-year-old cask strength to deal with watching it,” says Ferencz. “There’s nothing better than an Islay cask-strength whiskey. Of course, that depends on how much you can tolerate that peaty smokiness—some find it as cloying as Jar Jar Binks.”

      Attack of the Clones: Obi-Wan’s Bar Order

      Obi-Wan and Anakin are chasing bounty hunter Zam Wessell through the skyways of Coruscant. Back on the ground, Obi-Wan and his Padawan enter a bar. The Jedi Master says he’s getting a drink. What does he order? A Glenfiddich highball, Ferencz confidently asserts. “I feel like he would want something that is whiskey-related, but still refreshing at the same time. For some reason, I don’t see him as a neat whiskey guy at this point in his life.” Foiling assassination attempts does make one thirsty, so a highball fits the bill.

      Revenge of the Sith: Obi-Wan Goes into Exile

      Okay, Obi-Wan is a few years older. He’s also a bit battle-worn, having served as a general in the Clone Wars from beginning to end. Now, he’s ready for the neat whiskey, and it’s a doozy: Balvenie 30. “It’s just something he’s going to want to sip and savor over the next few years in isolation. It’s nice, delicate and smooth, and you know he’s going to savor every drop.” Also, Ewan MacGregor is a Scotsman, so, there’s that.

      Sequel Trilogy

      The Force Awakens: Maz’s Bar

      There’s a definite speakeasy vibe to Maz’s joint, one that defies branding. “I just feel like it would be some people creating their own whiskey in the back, moonshining it.” Be careful when you drink the stuff, though. It might cause you to have some rather violent visions that’ll send you running into the woods.

      The Last Jedi: Canto Bight Casino

      Where the Mos Eisley Cantina is all about cheap bourbon, the ostentatious Canto Bight gambling hall is definitely a place for the high-end, special Macallan releases.

      The Standalones

      Rogue One: Jyn and Cassian’s Last Drink

      Our heroes just completed their mission, but they know that they are personally doomed. The Death Star is about to use Scarif for target practice. Hopefully there’s a hip flask in someone’s pocket. Ferencz’s pick: Glendronach 15 or something from Glenfarclas. His reasoning: “It’s one of those drams for me that make me realize there’s a lot of great whiskey out there that’s not being overly marketed. Cassian and Jyn wouldn’t be suckers to marketing.”

      Solo: Dryden Vos’s Yacht

      See also: Canto Bight casino. You get a lot of the same unsavory types of people with a lot of money to throw around—and they just want to be seen throwing it around. They just find the most expensive bottle that they can buy and do shots of it, but they wouldn’t know any better. If they still use paper money, they would probably be lighting their cigars with it.

      Yoda Gin Fizz

      When I asked Ben Paré—bar manager at Miami’s iconic Fontainebleau resort and formerly of New York’s Sanctuary T—to contribute a Star Wars-themed drink to this collection, he was more than happy to oblige with this riff on a Ramos Gin Fizz. It’s green like our favorite Jedi master.

      •2 ounces gin of choice

      •1 dash orange blossom water

      •1 large egg white

      •1 bar spoon matcha powder

      •½ ounce coconut cream

      •½ ounce fresh lemon juice

      •½ ounce fresh

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