truth is, most of the time, we’re not operating at full capacity. Not even close. We refuse to dig deep. We make excuses. We flake out. We hold back. We send off one or two emails and then we grumble when we don’t get what we want. As Emily’s wise mom once said to me, it’s fine if you want to hold back. It’s fine if you want to Netflix and Chill. But if that’s what you choose, well, then…
“Don’t be mad about the results you didn’t get from the work you didn’t do.”
I’m not advocating that anybody push themselves to the point of injury, burnout, or adrenal failure. I’m all for balance and relaxation. I literally have three beds in my one-bedroom apartment: sleeping bed, TV-watching-and-sometimes-guest bed, and outside-balcony bed.
What I’m saying—mostly to myself, because I need to re-learn this lesson continually—is that before you decide that your dream is “impossible” or that it’s “taking too long to find a new job,” check in with yourself. Do an honest assessment of your efforts. See if you’re actually trying as hard as you could be.
And if you haven’t been trying that hard, hey, that’s OK. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It just makes you a person who’s facing some important choices:
Give up—or go harder?
Accept defeat—or try again?
Hide in your bedroom behind your laptop screen—or get outside, talk to actual people, and be gutsy and brave?
Convince yourself you’ve tried everything—or actually try? This time, with feeling?
What’s it going to be?
* * *
SURVIVAL TIP:
The next time you feel discouraged because you feel like you’ve “tried everything,” take a cue from Emily and Emily’s mom, and make a list of what you’ve actually done.
How many people have you actually contacted? How many jobs have you actually applied for? How many events have you actually attended? How many informational interviews have you lined up? How many of your friends, family members, colleagues, and classmates have you contacted to ask for help? And so on.
Make a list. Look at the numbers. Have you truly pursued every possible opportunity? Have you been making a full-hearted effort, or a half-hearted effort?
When we tell ourselves, “Ugh. I’ve already tried everything,” we’re usually being delusional. Most likely, you haven’t tried everything. Most likely, you’ve just barely scratched the surface.
Try again. This time, with your whole heart. This time, put some muscle into it.
Watch what happens next.
THE UNIVERSE HAD BETTER PLANS FOR ME.
Story contributed by: Robert Hartwell.
Actor. Singer. Dancer. Choreographer. Founder of The Broadway Dance Collective.
A Note from Alexandra:
It was late afternoon. I was settling into my chair on the sixth floor of an opulent NYC hotel. I’d been invited to attend an ultra-fancy high tea party. But not just any tea party. It was a client’s ten-year business anniversary party, and the room was filled with fascinating entrepreneurs, consultants, literary agents, and other creative types. The atmosphere was elegant and refined, like a scene straight out of Downton Abbey. Porcelain tea pots. Tiny sandwiches. Currant scones and cream. Champagne and chocolate-dipped strawberries. The whole nine yards. I kept smoothing out my hair, hoping I looked relatively presentable.
“Everyone, everyone, this is Robert, and he has a surprise for us,” my client announced, tinkling her spoon onto her champagne glass to get our attention.
Robert rose from his chair—impeccably dressed in an electric blue suit with a pink and purple cravat—marched over to the speakers, flipped a switch, and suddenly the room was filled with…Beyoncé.
“Ladies, we’re going to get a little nasty. You OK with that?” Robert asked.
Oh yes. We were OK with that.
Robert explained that—before sipping our tea—we were all going to learn a synchronized dance number. A few women in the room looked slightly horrified. “Dancing? Here? Now?” But Robert launched into the sequence, and within minutes, he had every single woman in the room swiveling, shimmying, snapping, and stomping around. The dance culminated with a booty-popping moment and a dramatic hair flip. Everyone participated. No one refused. Robert’s energy was completely infectious, and we all got swept up in the delightful madness of it all. (The hotel staff enjoyed a pretty unforgettable show, too!)
Needless to say, it was the best tea party I’ve ever attended. Towards the end of the event, I gave Robert a massive hug, we exchanged phone numbers, and I knew we were going to become instantaneous friends. I also had a feeling that I ought to interview him for this book. “I bet he’s got a story or two,” I thought to myself. And he certainly does.
Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.
Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».
Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.
Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.
