with the onslaught of protein shakes and high-powered breakfast bars, Wheaties™ has defended its tide, the “Breakfast of Champions,” brilliantly for nearly a century. If we believe what the all-stars on the Wheaties boxes tell us, we are on our way to a win-win, grand-slam day every time we fill our bowls with these golden flakes. Life is the prize, so eat your Wheaties and carpe diem!
But if it is the moment rather than the entire day you wish to seize—let's say you're in a robust mood and want to start your day with a little hanky-panky—leave your cereal bowl empty and your jock strap off. The time is right to fire up with the newly scientifically proven “breakfast of lovers”—the cinnamon roll!
That's right. In one study by sex researchers, the penile blood flow of thirty-one healthy male subjects was measured when they whiffed a range of fragrances from perfume to roses to suntan oil to black licorice. Every odor boosted the flow from one level to another, but some fragrances hit the jackpot, so to speak. Among the supererotic turn-ons were the aromas of pumpkin pie, lavender, and doughnuts. Let it be known, however, that the supreme seductress of all smells proved to be that of the sexy, spice-laced cinnamon roll. And you thought you needed a protein shake….
Sensuous Cinnamon Rolls
The Dough
3 cups unbleached flour
1½ tablespoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon ground cardamom
½ cup (1 stick) cold, unsalted butter
1 cup warm milk
Glaze
2 cups powdered sugar
1 tablespoon orange
2 tablespoons milk
Filling
1 cup raisins
1 to 2 teaspoons orange zest
2 tablespoons rum
1 cup raw sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
½ cup melted butter
1 cup shelled pecans, coarsely chopped
To make the dough, combine flour, baking powder, salt, and cardamom in a large bowl; blend well. Cut the cold butter into the flour mixture with a pastry blender or fork until mixture becomes granular. Add the milk and stir with a fork until a soft dough forms.
Turn the dough out on a lightly floured surface, knead 10 to 12 times, and pat into a rectangle. Wrap and refrigerate while you prepare the filling.
To prepare the filling, soak the raisins and orange zest in rum. In a separate bowl, combine the two kinds of sugars, milk, and spices. Prepare two 8-inch round pans (or one 9 × 13-inch rectangular pan) by brushing the bottom with some of the melted butter, and sprinkle enough sugar mixture on the bottom of each pan to cover the surface evenly (about ¼ cup for each). Reserve the rest of the sugar mixture.
Preheat the oven to 400°F. On a lightly floured surface, roll the dough into a large ¼-inch thick, 12 × 18-inch rectangle, with the “long” side near you.
Brush the dough with the remaining melted butter and sprinkle the remaining sugar mixture evenly over the dough, followed by the raisin mixture and pecans. Starting with the longer edge, loosely roll the dough toward you, “jelly roll” style. Using a very sharp knife cut the dough into 1 to 1¼-inch slices and place them in the pan spiral side up and slightly apart.
Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until the rolls are golden brown. While the rolls are baking, make the glaze by combining all ingredients in a small bowl. When the cinnamon rolls are hot out of the oven, invert the pan immediately onto a serving tray. Drizzle glaze over them and indulge! Makes 14 to 16 sinfully delicious cinnamon rolls.
Knowing you is such delicious torment.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life Is Fine with the Cinnamon Girl
Scientists may have discovered what the sweet smell of cinnamon does to increase a man's virility and blood flow, but have they given us a good reason why? As, a kitchen courtesan, I say the answer is simple: Cinnamon is an aphrodisiac.
Myth holds that Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, could harness the alchemical powers of her insignia spice at will, delivering its wallop on unsuspecting mortal men whenever she needed a little adoration. “Cinnamon Girl” simply sprinkled it on their food. After she won the coveted Golden Apple at the Judgment of Paris—the infamous beauty pageant of the great goddesses that incited the Trojan War—that noble fruit (now the naughty orb of temptation) also fell under her command. With apples in one basket and mounds of cinnamon in the other, no man was above the call of Aphrodite.
Are you a believer? If the Sensuous Cinnamon Rolls didn't increase your pulse this morning, the French Stud Muffins will. They are laced with the two vital aphrodisiacal ingredients, they are delightful to eat in bed…and they're French. Mais oui!
An aphrodisiac is anything you think it is.
—Dr. Ruth Westheimer
French Stud Muffins
Muffins
4½ cups unbleached flour
1¾ cups sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
¾ teaspoon salt
¾ teaspoon ground nutmeg
1½ cups milk
3 eggs
1 cup margarine, melted
1 cup apples, peeled, and finely chopped or grated
Topping
1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon cinnamon
3 tablespoons melted butter
Preheat oven to 350°F. Mix all dry ingredients listed under “Muffins” together by hand, forming a “well” in the center of a large bowl. Whisk together the milk and eggs in a separate bowl and then pour them into the dry mixture. Mix gently, dribbling the melted margarine into the equation as you go,
