NORMAL Doesn't Live Here Anymore. Barb BSL Owen

      HopeForCaregivers.com is designed to support and encourage caregivers. Along with blog entries by the author, you'll find resources and suggestions for navigating through the caregiving experience. Each caregiving journey is individual, but one need unites all—the need for hope—hope that you make good decisions—hope that you will stay healthy—hope that life will somehow get back to normal—and most of all, hope that you can get from one day to the next. HopeForCaregivers.com exists for YOU, to give you HOPE.

      Please come by and say hello. You are always welcome!

      …

      Copyright © 2010 by Barb Owen

      Published in the United States by: T&T1 Inc., P.O. Box 30716, Columbia MO 65205-3716 • Phone (573) 723-1510

      www.HopeForCaregivers.com [email protected]

      Editorial supervision, Design & Cover Artwork: Race Owen

      All rights reserved. No part of the book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording, audio recording, video recording or any means whatsoever; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise copied for public or private use --- other than for “fair use” as brief quotation embodied in articles and reviews without prior written permission of the publisher.

      The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any techniques as a form of treatment for physical or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. Any reference to, description of or characterization of any natural person is purely coincidental. All characteristics, likenesses or reference to any “person” in this book are fictional and bare no reference to any natural person either directly or indirectly. Author does not offer any legal advice of any kind either directly of indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest of emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for your self, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

      Owen, Barb

      Normal Doesn't Live Here Anymore : An Inspiring Story of Hope for Caregivers / Barb Owen

      p. cm.

      ISBN 13: 978-1456474294 (trade pbk.) 10: 1456474294 (trade pbk.)

      1. Caregiving. 2. Self Help. 3. Inspirational. 4. Eldercare. I. Owen, Barb. II. Title.

      2010919426

      Tradepaper ISBN 13: 978-1456474294

      Tradepaper ISBN 10: 1456474294

      eBook ISBN 13: 978-1456600662

      01 02 05 07 09 10 08 06 04 02

      1st printing, 2011

      Published in the United States of America

      "I can be changed by what happens to me.

      I refuse to be reduced by it."

      − Maya Angelou

      Dedication

      This book is dedicated to my husband, my friend, and my son, my best.

      Thank you both for your love, support and unbelievable patience.

      Prologue

      One January, four of us began having dinner together every month. It was finally our time. All of our kids were grown, living productive lives and no longer needed our daily interaction. The future had arrived and we could actually concentrate on the lives we’d always dreamed about. None of us were quite sure what might happen next, but we instinctively knew one thing; we needed to cultivate good friends.

      As we enjoyed our monthly meals, we talked about our occupations, hobbies and families as well as our physical changes, and compared the way our mothers’ bodies had begun to emerge in our own reflections. Month by month a closeness beyond description knitted our hearts together as Soul-Sisters.

      After several years, the unthinkable happened. One of us became ill. Several months later we heard the diagnosis—cancer. Friendship evolved into activity, assisting her family in any way we could—meals, transportation to chemo treatments, thinking up ways to positively distract our friend’s attention, going with her to select her new wig, sewing special hats—and anything else we could think of to put a smile on her face while trying to avoid what appeared to be the inevitable. In spite of our best efforts, cancer stole her from all of us.

      It was nearly unbearable.… our first meal together as we faced the empty chair where our fourth Soul-Sister was supposed to be sitting… Ignoring the vacancy and the deafening silence was impossible. Instead, the tears welled up in our eyes, not only for the profound loss of our friend, but also for each love-filled journey and loss we had endured over a five year stretch. Those years bonded us for life as we bore witness to the loss of eight people,

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