Adventures in the Scream Trade:
Scenes from an Operatic Life
Copyright © 2012 Charles Long
All Rights Reserved
ISBN 978-0-9851141-9-0
Published in ebook format
by Mountain Lake Press
Converted by
Cover design by Michael Hentges
Cover photograph copyright © Joan Marcus
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
I wrote Adventures in the Scream Trade as a series of vignettes and anecdotes from my life as musician and opera singer. A loosely woven autobiographical thread ties together childhood musical experiences with my ascent into opera and the denouement of my career. I omitted unnecessary material to spare the reader extraneous detail, to protect the privacy of others, or to save for another day. La brevità, gran pregio.
—Charles Long, February 2012
I sat at the grand piano, repeatedly banging out the same pitch for a tone-deaf student. It was dark and dank in the studio. Even the blanket around my shoulders couldn’t keep out the numbing chill. The student seemed not to notice and fished for the pitch. He missed by a fourth. I sighed, smiled, and played it again.
I had come full circle—from aspiring student to international star to jaded teacher. I thought about how my parents had beseeched me to get a college degree so I would have something to “fall back on.” Well, I had indeed fallen back—farther than I imagined possible. Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.
I was awakened from my wistful reminiscence by another abrupt attempt at the pitch. It was a minor third too low this time. At least he was getting closer. I contemplated shooting him and feeding him to the dogs, thus putting an end to both our miseries. Surely no jury would convict me. A musician of my caliber couldn’t be expected to endure this!
The realm of the classical musician is frequently perceived as a thing of ethereal, intangible beauty, distant and aloof, an untouchable museum piece, a world preserved by ectomorphic scholars in cobwebbed libraries, scrutinizing hieroglyphic scribbles called semi-demi-quavers, sextuplets, and acciaccaturas. Bullshit! This was hell on earth.
I looked at the pictures covering the walls of my studio: rows of 8x10, black-and-white glossies, the only legacy of a once-illustrious career. My mind wandered to a radio interview I had given years before. The interviewer was amused when I said that singing opera was little more than controlled screaming. I certainly felt like screaming now. I thought about my life and laughed bitterly.
The student looked at me aghast, perhaps thinking that I was laughing at him. Then, in a moment of inspiration, I stood and closed the piano.
“We’re done. I can’t do this anymore. The lesson is on me.”
Without another word, I escorted him to the door, shook his hand, and watched him drive away. I felt a twinge of compassion, but not enough to call him back.
I walked from the foyer, through the living room, and out the sliding doors to the back deck. The sky was a relentless Seattle gray, and a light drizzle caressed the evergreen forest. This was as far removed from my fantasy of retirement as I could get. I’d always imagined myself on a beach with three Polynesian girls—one stirring my drink, one fanning me with a palm leaf, and the other … oh well.
I’ve lived a fascinating life, I mused. Perhaps people would be interested to read about it. I should write a book. Yes, that’s it! I’ll write my story and I’ll call it Adventures in the Scream Trade.
Andante Con Moto
Have you ever wondered why a person, against the admonitions of his parents, would decide to go into music as a career?
It is often the case that American musicians arrive at their early musical experiences through a school or church affiliation—not at all unlike the early careers of Bach, Handel, Vivaldi, and countless others. So it was with me and most of my colleagues. I began as a woodwind player at age nine and continued with a variety of instruments until I auditioned for music school at eighteen, as both oboist and singer.
I remember the first time I held an instrument in my hands: a shiny black B-flat clarinet, a cylinder of lacquered wood with glittering, silver keys. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Nature had endowed me with an embouchure more appropriate for the woodwind instruments than for brass. Percussion didn’t appeal to me, and, sadly, strings were not an option. There were no string programs in the schools nearby nor string players to teach them. Otherwise, I probably would have become a cellist.
I went home with the clarinet and a method book. My instructor expected me to decipher the first few pages by myself, but I didn’t have the slightest clue how to decode those cryptic symbols.
At the first rehearsal the other kids started to play, while I sat there looking bewildered. The instructor, a wonderful man named Clarence Ebner, asked me why I wasn’t playing.
“I don’t know how to read music,” I answered timidly.
This brought a hail of laughter from the others. Feeling like a dunce, I determined this would not happen again. I decided then and there to dedicate myself to this strange language of music.
I moved from clarinet to alto, tenor, and baritone sax. Then came flute, bassoon, and finally oboe. In this instrument I discovered an infinite beauty and more than enough repertory to keep me engaged for the rest of my life.
My oboe studies began with my first in a series of Italian mentors. Steve Romanelli played with the Pittsburgh Symphony. He also taught at Duquesne University and owned a music store nearby. He gave me lessons in exchange for my help around the store. After school, I worked the front desk,
