Baloney. Maxime Raymond Bock

      Coach House Books acknowledges the financial support of the Government of Canada through the National Translation Program for Book Publishing, an initiative of the Roadmap for Canada’s Official Languages 2013-2018: Education, Immigration, Communities, for our translation activities. We also thank the Canada Council for the Arts and the Ontario Arts Council for their generous assistance. We further acknowledge the support of the Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund.

      LIBRARY AND ARCHIVES CANADA CATALOGUING IN PUBLICATION

      Bock, Raymond, 1981-

      [Des lames de pierre. English]

      Baloney / by Maxime Raymond Bock ; translated by Pablo Strauss.

      Translation of: Des lames de pierre.

      ISBN 978 1 77056 468 8 (EPUB).

      I. Strauss, Pablo, translator II. Title. III. Title: Des lames de pierre. English

      PS8603.O29D4713 201 C843'.6 C2016-904394-0

      Baloney is available as an ebook: ISBN 978-1-55245-339-1 (paperback), ISBN 978 1 77056 469 5 (PDF), ISBN 978 1 77056 470 1 (MOBI)

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      Baloney

      1

      Like ninety-four other people in the province of Quebec, Robert Lacerte was born on November 18, 1941. It happened in a house on the main street of the small town of Saint-Donat, and later in life, when he saw similarities between his poetry and Gaston Miron’s, Robert put it down to their shared homeland in the Laurentians. As if the trees, foxes, river bends, mountains and trails of smoke left behind by vacationers could bring about the genesis of words. But words have a way of finding their own path, and this origin was all he ever had in common with Miron. In the Montreal poetry scene his nickname was ‘Baloney.’ He never told me why, and I eventually realized he himself didn’t know. He was much less ridiculous than the nickname implied, just a tad feeble of body and mind, not entirely equal to the daily struggle of life on the margins, always a touch off the beat, a length behind the others – always, deep down, alone. His weaknesses were clear for all to see, but no one was there when he was flying high. He flailed in silence and died, along with 151 other Québécois, on January 6, 2009, at Maisonneuve-Rosemont Hospital.

      Robert remembered so little of his childhood that he managed at times to believe he’d never had one, and he would tell himself, when consciousness returned after a fit of severe pain, that life isn’t a continuous flow of which we retain only fragments but an arrangement of broken, unconnected tableaux, accidents separated by cracks where everything is erased. Digging into his past, he might remember an event, a day, sometimes even an entire season, but then there was emptiness, until the next memory, when people re-emerged older and places had changed shape and colour after disintegrating into darkness. He once told me that was why he wrote, to prolong the time he existed, to have fewer of these moments of nothingness. But another time he told me that none of it mattered – memory, words, photos, film – because by their very nature the chasms everything disappears into may well be unfathomable, infinitely deeper than any traces we try to leave, and that’s why we’re no better off than the dead.

      For Robert, life didn’t begin when two gametes fused to create a zygote, or when a hairy head emerged from his screaming mother, but on the evening of his first memory when, from his crib tucked under a staircase, he first felt fear of something lurking in the back of the dim room where his brothers lay snoring like two-stroke engines. He then experienced a diffuse series of events as he sat on the parlour floor in piss-stained cotton diapers or at the table, banging his plate with a spoon until one of his sisters yanked it from him with threats. Then others, in clearer focus – games of hide-and-seek out in the fields, fights lost to brothers too strong for him, running bare-headed through the rain, hunting stray cats for the mayor’s public-health campaign. Robert’s childhood wasn’t a difficult one. Nor was it easy. Village life in a French-Canadian backwater in the mid-twentieth century was tough. There was squalor of every stripe: dignified poverty, deep-black misery, filthy indigence, half-bred want, laugh-despite-it-all scarcity, pious simplicity, revolting privation, resigned paucity, mortal destitution and countless others. The Lacertes’ poverty fell on the comfortable end of the spectrum. Saint-Donat had electricity and Old Man Lacerte had ably managed his general store. When his three eldest sons took over, they turned it into a hardware store that supported their parents, who still pitched in when they could, and the siblings who were still too young to work.

      Robert was the second-last child of his generation. Before him had passed forty brothers, sisters and cousins; after came but one baby sister who alone enjoyed the usual privileges of the last-born child. The older ones already had families of their own and weren’t much for travel, so Robert scarcely saw them. He stayed home with his aging parents. On the rare occasions when the whole family gathered, the other children called him Fake Uncle or Old Wart or Fuddy-Duddy. Who knows what goes on in the mind of a child whose formative years are spent among the elderly. His course was charted, he just had to slide into the groove and move forward. There was the dirt path to the schoolhouse, worn into the grass along the stand of trees between two fields. The muddy road they all trod single file to church. And to escape, the path to the thicket where everyone snuck off at some point to make out and feel up their first crushes. Robert’s was the daughter of a family of tourists who’d come down from Montreal to ski Mount Jasper, a girl with extraordinary blue eyes, teeth so incredibly large they prevented her mouth from closing, and a body inaccessible beneath her winter coat. The kiss was far from pleasing, and years would pass before he tried another. Of all his relatives, Robert was close to one only, his brother Yves, his elder by one year and seven days. The two boys’ birthdays were marked by a single celebration halfway through the week between them.

      The first event of note in Robert’s life occurred when he was fourteen. He took a trip to what may as well have been the end of the known world, five and a half hours by train and horse-drawn sled northwest of Saint-Donat, to spend a winter, the only one he ever would, in a lumber camp. With its outhouses and stables, kitchen and bunkhouses and large dining hall, the sprawling log cabin was at once modern and archaic. Heat came from wood stoves but the lights were electric, powered by a turbine spinning in a stream a hundred paces off, or a gas generator when the river froze in winter. There was an electric range, a giant cast-iron woodstove and a shortwave radio transmitter and receiver from the First World War. Robert was too spindly to chop trees or mill boards, too weak to drive horses. For a kid like him, the camp’s hierarchy was clear: it would be at least ten years before he touched the brand-new gas-powered lightweight chainsaws and American skidders that Canadian International Paper was bringing in. But Robert had no desire to be a logger, loved his fingers too much to risk

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