Lost
Part Two of the Broken Within Trilogy
Amber Plum
Copyright © 2012 Amber Plum
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior consent of the publisher.
The Publisher makes no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any commercial damages.
2012-08-22
Dedication
My brother, my friend…We will meet in the end.
In remembrance of how lost I was without you.
In honor of Christ, and the joy He gives me in
knowing I will be reunited with you in Heavan!
Acknowledgments
Thank you to all of you who have supported me. I am blessed to have such great people around to cheer me along. My husband Matt, who is always there with encouragement, my family and my friends who also bring positivity to my life, I would be lost without you all. A special thanks to Dr. Marc Barnes for his magnificent editing, and ability to keep me on point spiritually. Also I would like to thank Professor William Petroff for believing in my writing and lending his editing expertise, and wisdom of literary options that have encouraged me to challenge myself. I am blessed to have such a great team who believes in my message. May blessing be given to you all for your love and dedication.
Eins
I cannot remember ever sleeping as well as I did last night. God’s song to me brought me such peace and ease. I missed him terribly as I woke. Amazingly a part of me felt less empty. Like the embers that smolder under the wood before it becomes a true flame. It was the warmth of my Lord that I felt in my heart. He left a part of that within me to carry me as He placed his hand on my chest. I couldn’t decide how I felt about the new part of me. I loved what was left in me by Him, but I knew my quest to becoming a prophet was just beginning.
This started so far back with the abandonment of my father. I see it all so clearly now. The sadness and the pain only got worse when my beloved brother Levi was taken from me. The darkness that I have grown to know so well has always been the evils of Abaddon. He has been whittling away at what I desire most; love. As much as I can see and even understand all that Abaddon has done to hurt me, I also can’t help but love him.
God told me that I learned to control myself and that I learned to be kind in the war against my rapist. Poor Emerson, I do not hate him for what he did to me. I saw the sickness in his head and I knew then that it was all Abaddon and his temptations that taunt us all. When I forgave Em it hurt Abaddon severely and angered him greatly. In the beginning, I knew I had to avoid Abaddon’s temptations. Everything with him exists in the spiritual realm, and he only has the authority I give him when I let him pull me while in my dreams. They are more frightening than dreams though. What choices I make in that world I call the abyss, would carry through into my wakeful world.
My whole life I had blamed God for the bad things that have come to me. I know now that Abaddon whispers in all of our heads. He tempts us to walk away from God and harm each other. God’s hands are tied by our gift of free will. It is our choices together that make the world what it is. It seems to be one of those things that is just so simple you miss it.
I am very frightened now that I know this was just one of many attacks against me. I only made Abaddon mad last night. I am unsure if he will continue his mission to taunt me nightly in my dreams, or if he has other things planned to try and break me. I tremble at the thought of what more he can do to me. But as wrong as it sounds, I don’t want him to go. It doesn’t make sense, but as grotesque as he is, he is also beautiful and I love him as much as I hate him.
My mom would tell me it is wrong to hate. But I know no other way to describe my complete and utter loathing I harbor against Abaddon. I, also, shamefully lust for him. There is only one greater love than his. The love of the Lord is the only tool I have against him and my only strength to resist him. I am sure being a called prophet does not make things easier for me, and I don’t know if I even like it. But, I have accepted it.
I heard rustling next to me and looked over. I had almost forgotten where I was. Bitzy rolled over to her back. She stretched and then settled back in. It was interesting to watch people as they slept. She was even more like a perfect porcelain doll when she lay there motionless. Her hair was still perfect with dark blonde waves and her skin was so flawless. She was so understanding when I told her about Abaddon last night. She has proved to be a great friend.
I just waited for her to come around. When she finally did crack open her eyes she looked at me and remembered the night I was going to face. “Well, you’re alive,” she was half smiling. How was I going to explain this all to her? “Yes, I am alive, but I pissed Abaddon off greatly,” I looked away thinking through the night. “Let’s just say I won this battle but not the war. I fueled my attacker and he will be back with a stronger vengeance.”
She cocked her head at me and shrugged her shoulders with a half smile “Did you kick his butt?” That is my Bitzy alright. I was smiling at her now. I explained the whole thing to her. There was really no other way. I told her about Abaddon, how he looked and how he smelled. I noticed Bitzy was very uneasy, but I continued on. I told her about being trapped in the glass room and how Em appeared in the room. I explained how the rape was replayed in front of me and that I was able to hear his thoughts. I let her know how badly I wanted to kill him and Abaddon. She was really studying me and my words. I finished by telling her about God placing his hand on my heart and singing me to sleep.
We sat there for a long time without another word. I noticed Bitzy was really processing something. “What is it Bitzy, you think I am crazy right?” She was shaking her head in disbelief “No far from it, if you are crazy that would mean I am too.” I made a gesture to beg her to explain. She sucked in a long breath “I think I saw that Abaddon dude, in my dreams. I thought it was just bizarre and maybe a weird occurrence, but I remember his smell. Oh man I could never forget that smell.”
She was closing her eyes and I could see her delight as she remembered Abaddon. “Do not let him tempt you, he will try to turn you against me, even hurt me Bitzy. Please stay strong.” I looked down to my lap I felt like a jackhammer. “I am sorry I brought you into this,” I felt the tears build up in my eyes. Bitzy leaned close to me and put her hand on my shoulder. “It was really weird. I wouldn’t have even made the connection if it weren’t for his smell,” I nodded. “What was it like?”
Bitzy told me about her dream. It began in darkness, as all my encounters do with him. A crescent moon appeared with a violet glow. She was wearing a vivid yellow dress. It was long and flowing. Her hair was beautiful in an elaborate formal style. She heard the ever so famous beginning of Beethoven’s Fur Elise. A handsome man came in dressed in a dark navy blue pinstriped suit, showcased under a glow of light
