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The Onus of Man
Damian Bouch
Copyright © 2013 Damian Bouch
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior consent of the publisher.
The Publisher makes no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any commercial damages.
2013-06-13
Dedication
To my brother, Zachary.
Acknowledgments
Great thanks to my friends and family for their support and faith. Special thanks to Josh, Vicki, Karen, Heather, and Peg for their honest feedback, critical discussions, and countless corrections during the adolescence of this project.
The Commitment
All of mankind knows the bite of inadequacy; the sensation of our somersaulting guts, our hearts skipping, and cold sweat bubbling from our pores. Our societal and financial circumstances close in on us with tidal force and verticality, stretching ever upward and out of sight, and the dreadful cognitions of our minds manifest in tremulous vocal intonations. Neither the trials of our years nor the skill of our hands can match that which bears over us. Tomes of wisdom as imparted by our elders are rendered obsolete whilst confronting concrete, unyielding reality. Meanwhile, we find ourselves in the chasm to drown in irrelevance. The fortunate and blessed among us will learn peace, meekness and humility as they yield to grace; the rest of us either find mundane ways to cope with our new paradigm, or take drastic measures to conquer it. Peter had a mind to emerge a victor.
Hauling his backpack and hiking boots, he crossed the driveway to his car. Tucking the boots under his arm, he used his free arm to get the keys from his pocket and open the trunk, where he placed his gear with the debris that had been accumulating. Among the mandatory food-service visor and slacks, the extra jeans and laborer’s gloves, a bound stack of manila envelopes full of old financial documentation, and a bundle of sports-related paraphernalia, the backpack and hiking boots fit well within the confines of the trunk, if snuggly.
Peter’s car provided him with effective, if humble, transportation. A worn, gold-colored sedan, which nearly matched him in age, this vehicle has been in his possession since he had earned his driver’s license years ago. The seats and floor had become nearly bare, notwithstanding that they were quite worn down when he first drove it off the lot. Along with naked seats, which felt something like an artist’s canvas in their aged texture, the steering wheel had lost much of its outermost layer, revealing the foamy innards that Peter kept wrapped up in replaceable, camouflage-designed, bargain-bin steering wheel covers. From the ceiling, which regularly shed its lint fur onto the driver and passengers below, hung the light in the middle of the car, suspended in midair, clinging to its natural home by a bit of wiring; it doubled as a dangling ornament and source of humorous discussion. His internal gas gauge was also worn out, which, despite its constant nuisance, was also a great ice-breaker. Just behind the rear driver-side door, was the remnant of a radio antenna. Showing its age and wear, the car obliged Peter to manually lock and unlock the doors, roll down the windows, cover the seats and steering wheel, externally check his gas level, and provide his own source of music or traveling entertainment otherwise. In a word, the young man’s car was “functional.”
After shutting the trunk with ease, he crossed back over his driveway back towards his house. Born and raised in the same town, living in the same house, and with the same family all his life, the routine of packing up vehicles had become a familiar one. Mom always kept the family busy with short-term excursions; overnight camps or visits to relatives, trips that lasted the day entire to nearby forests, rivers, and amusement parks. Occasionally friends or family would tag along, and the obligatory family minivan would be packed to the proverbial gills with acquaintances old and young alike, along with all their cargo. This particular voyage of immeasurable utilitarianism, however, only had one guest: Hoagie.
Hoagie was equal measures of family pet, comic relief, pest control, pillow, arm rest, confidant, greeter and doorbell. Despite, or perhaps because of, the unnaturally distant placement of his eyeballs to one another, poorly annunciated barks, and obnoxious grooming habits, he earned his place in the family years ago when Peter was still interested in trading card games. The beast was lying dormant on the back porch when Peter beckoned him over to the car with a whistle. Any other member of the family would have called him with a shout of his name, but Peter found the act of speaking language to animals stupid. Speaking to animals was a harmless habit, sure; but a habit whose practitioners looked needlessly silly. Hoagie did not retain the springing bounds that he had years previously, but still moved with vigor and enthusiasm towards the car.
Mom emerged from the back door of the house onto their porch. She called out to him, “Where are you going again?”
“Taking Hoagie out to the trails on Route 22. We’ll be about halfway to Uncle Tim’s,” Peter explained one time too many not to show slight signs of impatience. He maintained a downward glance at his car keys, pretending to fiddle with the keyring so as not to show his inconvenient disposition.
Mom looked at him aghast, exclaiming: “With all that you have going on tomorrow? That’s an awfully long trip to take if you plan on staying out there for more than an hour, and you’ll certainly be needing your rest for all your projects tomorrow.” Peter, since his adolescence, dreaded the lectures that were preceded by a cocking of the hip and counting fingers. She raised her index finger, “First off, you’ve got breakfast at the E-Z Omlette, and we both know how Mr. Cranston gets when you mope around all day because you didn’t get enough sleep.”
Mom’s thumb joined her index finger in listing Peter’s responsibilities the next day, “After that, Gramma says she’ll pay you if you go landscape her yard.” “Landscape” was Mom’s flattering way of referring to labor that usually involved gathering sticks and leaves out of an elderly woman’s yard, and dumping them into the nearby woods. “…and you know you’ve got another payment coming up.” Peter internally assured his mother that he was quite aware of his payment schedule for student loans.
A third finger joined the for-hire choir, “Plus tomorrow’s Sunday, and there are certainly going to be some new job ads in the classifieds. If you plan on actually working the jobs, you certainly need to prepare some resumés and letters.”
The teeth of disappointment were sinking into Peter’s heart, and her poison crept into his mind.
Unexpectedly, the ring finger sprang up to display a fourth unresolved issue due tomorrow; Peter experienced a brief apprehension. “And you’ve got to get ready for Trini’s recital!” He relaxed. Trini, his sister six years his minor, acquired a bizarre affinity for public speaking and oratory in her young age. While her friends joined sports, dance classes, art clubs and the like, Trini became quite involved with an oratory club whose members, every few weeks, recited famous speeches or addresses to an auditorium which, save for a few loved ones and underemployed school newspaper reporters, was otherwise empty. He conceded that now that she had just finished her junior year of high school, some of her speeches were quite impressive, and she delivered with the force of a woman with a lifetime’s worth of experience battling the many manifestations
