I dedicate this book to all of the tribulations
That have brought me this far.
This book is not a cry for help, this book is a testimony, a story; a work of art.
Grown Men Don't Cry.
Something was missing in you;
I saw the look in your eyes
as I told you I couldn't do it anymore,
I never meant to hurt you
but I have to put myself first sometimes,
your eyes were glossy,
bloodshot,
you looked right through me;
I could tell they were lying,
when they said grown men don't cry
I was sick of lying to please you
it’s not my job to tease you; it's hers,
she’s exactly what I’m not,
I’m confused,
I’m honestly just going through it
I can't explain my thoughts about you,
I’m sick and I need time to get better
my mind is wounded, give me time to heal
Loving you as a friend drives me crazy;
I wanna love you for real,
you mean too much to me,
we’re too close; I need a break
I need some space; cut me a break,
I’m sick of always acting fake
you’re not a brother
you're like a father to me,
you could read my lies through my lips as I spoke
so softly as not to slit your throat,
I regret my choice of words but I don't regret my choice,
I apologize if you never understood my intentions
if you never realize that I despise our status
I sat not across from you but adjacent,
I’m afraid one day you'll replace me with a better friend,
someone who knows how to be a good friend,
I don't know how to treat a man and
you sat there listening so patiently
My words burning through your chest as fire
my words soaking through your veins like poison
your body was with me but your soul had gone on,
I killed a part of you I didn't want to deal with anymore,
it was time for us to sort out our emotions alone
as in on our own because I can't do this with you,
I love you like a father and I don't wanna say goodbye,
I know they were lying when they said grown men don't cry
Nostalgia.
My brain has reached its full capacity
my heart follows close behind,
night rain only brings tears
from memories I left behind
The pain I get every time I see
your arm around a different girl,
every time I see your arm
it’s around a different girl
We’re living in different worlds;
I heard you have a different girl
as often as the months change
although my feelings never have
I curse your name during the day
I praise you in my dreams
they come alive;
they seem realer than my reality,
I’m so unprofessional because
I hate how much you don’t need me,
I know you don’t ever think about me
as often I as I think about you,
I’ve been in my feelings lately,
I suppress the stress,
the emotions that flood my mind daily,
Just to fall asleep
having my mind rage with passion,
it’s full of irrational beliefs
I cannot contain myself,
I totally despise myself for still
loving
watching
praying,
believing in you
even though you never believed in me,
I can’t let these feelings of nostalgia go,
I’m afraid of what it’s like to not love you anymore
Bloom.
You killed the sweetest parts of me,
and now you have to watch me bloom
- Surprise
To Science.
When I die
donate my mind to science,
it’s not
