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BORGO PRESS BOOKS BY VICTOR J. BANIS
The Astral: Till the Day I Die
Avalon: An Historical Novel
The C.A.M.P. Cookbook
The C.A.M.P. Guide to Astrology
Charms, Spells, and Curses for the Millions
Color Him Gay: That Man from C.A.M.P.
The Curse of Bloodstone: A Gothic Novel of Terror
Darkwater: A Gothic Novel of Horror
The Daughters of Nightsong: An Historical Novel (Nightsong Saga #2)
The Devil’s Dance: A Novel of Terror
Drag Thing; or, The Strange Tale of Jackle and Hyde
The Earth and All It Holds: An Historical Novel
A Family Affair: A Novel of Horror
Fatal Flowers: A Novel of Horror
Fire on the Moon: A Novel of Terror
The Gay Dogs: That Man from C.A.M.P.
The Gay Haunt
The Glass House: A Novel of Terror
The Glass Painting: A Gothic Tale of Horror
Goodbye, My Lover
The Greek Boy
The Green Rolling Hills: Writings from West Virginia (editor)
Green Willows: A Novel of Horror
Kenny’s Back
Life & Other Passing Moments: A Collection of Short Writings
The Lion’s Gate: A Novel of Terror
Love’s Pawn: A Novel of Romance
Lucifer’s Daughter: A Novel of Horror
Moon Garden: A Novel of Terror
Nightsong: An Historical Novel (Nightsong Saga #1)
The Pot Thickens: Recipes from Writers and Editors (editor)
San Antone: An Historical Novel
The Scent of Heather: A Novel of Terror
The Second House: A Novel of Terror
The Second Tijuana Bible Reader (editor)
The Sins of Nightsong: An Historical Novel (Nightsong Saga #3)
Spine Intact, Some Creases: Remembrances of a Paperback Writer
Stranger at the Door: A Novel of Suspense
Sweet Tormented Love: A Novel of Romance
The Sword and the Rose: An Historical Novel
This Splendid Earth: An Historical Novel
The Tijuana Bible Reader (editor)
Twisted Flames
The WATERCRESS File: That Man from C.A.M.P.
A Westward Love: An Historical Romance
White Jade: A Novel of Terror
The Why Not
The Wine of the Heart: A Novel of Romance
The Wolves of Craywood: A Novel of Terror
COPYRIGHT INFORMATION
Copyright © 1968, 2012 by Victor J. Banis
FIRST BORGO PRESS EDITION
Published by Wildside Press LLC
www.wildsidebooks.com
DEDICATION
To “Don Holliday,” without whose help this would have been impossible, and to the entire C.A.M.P. staff, whose advice and help have proved invaluable, and to Jackie and Rich, whose constant prodding and encouragement led it its completion.
To those “Three on a Broomstick”: Patty, Verna, and Maude, for the loan of the facilities of their test kitchen.
To Sophie, whose constant willingness to test all recipes proved an invaluable aid (although at some times a nuisance).
And especially to my co-conspirator, Lady Agatha.
I am also deeply indebted to my friend, Heather, for all the help she has given me in getting these early works of mine reissued.
And I am grateful as well to Rob Reginald, for all his assistance and support.
To all of these my sincerest thanks.
—Victor J. Banis
CHAPTER ONE
When the Queen Is in Her Kitchen (Getting Acquainted)
And away we go! Back to that little room. No, not that one—the one just on the other side of that place they call the dining area. The kitchen, of course. Now, I’m sure you know your way around the other rooms, especially the one with the queen-sized you-know-what; but as I’m prone to mention from time to time, one of the ways to a man’s heart is through his stomach, which means that you’ll have to spend some time in the kitchen cooking (and unfortunately washing dishes, etc.).
Let’s assume that it’s your first very own kitchen, and you don’t have a pot to put peas in. So what’s our first project? Equipment. Isn’t it always?
Now you don’t need every little fancy gadget that you can find at the five-and-dime, but there are basics—let’s stick to them. A cast-iron skillet works just as well as one that’s coated with pastel porcelain, and costs a hell of a lot less. And if you look in one of your local thrift shops, you can probably find a used one at a small fraction of what a new one costs. The fact that it is already black is actually a prestige symbol, too: it doesn’t make you look so much like a novice and can actually aid in giving you confidence.
Personally. I take advantage of every opportunity to shop for bargains in the Goodwill and Salvation Army stores—the prices are very lean and most items are in wonderful condition. If one of your sisters should be so crass as to ask where you got that “awful looking casserole,” just tell her that it belonged to your dear, departed great-grandmother.
Now, how are we going to equip ourselves (I mean, kitchen-wise)? First of all we’ll need:
SAUCE PANS—For your first experiments, two should be enough. I recommend that you have one two-quart pan and one with
