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the great cock hunt
Alex
KENSINGTON BOOKS
http://www.kensingtonbooks.com
Contents
The Cheat Sheet
1 The Real Thing
2 Me
3 The Rich Kid
4 The Ride
5 Big Gulp
6 Getting There Incognito
7 Bram
8 The Page Numbers Are Done
9 Black
10 Coach
11 The Zoe Story
12 John Doyle
13 Dinner With Fat Lizzie
14 In The Closet, Literally
15 Whitney
16 Blow Break
17 Self-Medicating
18 Stroke Break
19 Cock And Tails
20 Agony
21 Dave
22 Stoner Gossip
23 Ball And Chain
24 Sweet Suite
25 He Called
26 Home Wrecker
27 The John Doyle Story
28 The Strikeout
29 Spinner
30 Annoying
31 The Rest Of The John Doyle Story
32 Toxic
33 Jackass
34 My Straight Man Thing
35 Lizzie And John
36 The Rapist
37 God
38 The Run In
39 The Rest Of The Zoe Story
40 Wham Bam Bram
41 Fun With Fractions
42 The Story
43 Kiss
44 Smile
45 Coach D
46 Weakling
47 Lost And Found
48 In The Text
49 Brutal
50 Totally Played
51 The Hotel Bar
52 Well-Conditioned Hair
53 Random
54 The Shelf Life Of A Twinkie
55 Busted
56 Cherry Pie
57 The Urban Myth
58 I Love Her
59 We Left
60 What Really Is Enough?
61 The End
Thanks And Shit
The Cheat Sheet
There are a lot of people in this book. It was a reunion so I met up with a bunch of people from the past and I also talked about the people in my regular, current life. So here’s a little list of the players so that if you’re reading and you’re like—Wait, who the fuck is that again?—you can look back and find out here. They’re in no particular order, so you’ll just have to wade through.
Lizzie: She’s my best friend. We went to college together and still talk every day and see each other all the time. She’s straight and kind of single and she’s really pretty.
Tommy: He’s my other best friend. He also went to college with us and the three of us—Tommy, Lizzie, and I—all went up to reunion together. He’s like my partner in crime and we spend a lot of time together. And oh yeah, sometimes we hook up with each other, but just for the sex.
Bram: Bram is the guy I’m dating at the time I wrote the book and went to the reunion. We weren’t like strict or monogamous or anything yet, but we had a thing. Anyway, he didn’t go to college with us but you’ll read a little about him.
Geoff: Geoff went to college with us and dated Tommy during our junior year. We haven’t been in touch with him since graduation.
Dave: Straight as a nail and sexy as a naked rugby team, I had an intense crush on him and was kind of in love with him a little too. Tommy, Lizzie, and I were all really good friends with Dave. Over the past few years we’d all lost touch with him.
Zoe: A shameless self-promoter, we were friendly in college. Lizzie is still friends with her and I talk to her sporadically. She’s had worse than bad luck with men and with Zoe there is always a story.
Jack: Jack was the one true love of my life. We went out for about a year and then things went wrong. He went to school with us also but was older and not part of our reunion class. Currently, he’s dating a twink named Andrew.
Dylan: He was the campus drug dealer who we were hoping would still be good for a score. A nice guy, friends with everyone; we heard about him a lot but didn’t really keep in touch after graduation.
Andrew: He’s some skinny, young twink with incredibly important hair who is dating Jack. He didn’t go to school with us; in fact, he might have been in diapers at the time.
Coach Donnelly: The very hot and straight coach of the college tennis team. I played on the team in college. And I lusted after him.
Thad Newland: Thad was a pompous, absurdly rich asshole who was friends with Lizzie—and by extension distantly friendly with me—back when we were in school. We don’t really keep in touch with him but Lizzie follows
