universal. Without exception, people are born sweet and loving. Our pure human nature is happy and optimistic, but that natural aliveness erodes over time. Each person must find his or her own path to restoring and maintaining that quality.
An active person might find happiness through action, while a passive person might find it through rest and contemplation. Each person has a built-in temperament. Every parent knows that two children sharing the same mother and father can have radically different dispositions. There are strong variations in sensitivity, character, and activity level. Yet all people share an innate respect for life. Our need to grow and to connect with others is hardwired into our systems.
Personal values appear in early childhood. They are woven into the fabric of our muscles and nerves as we grow. Much of what is considered our mind is muscle memory. From our parents and community we learn to define ourselves with certain attitudes and beliefs that become deeply held convictions. We view time and money through the filters of our culture. Hopes and fears create deep moods which form our personalities. People who suffer poverty early in life often feel insecure as adults, even if they are actually successful. Unconscious feelings color every transaction.
Personal values are the secret ingredient in wealth. If you can train yourself to have courage, alertness and humility you can win the success game. Those who were raised by entrepreneurs in a stable family environment are likely to have more of the personality characteristics required for success. The rest of us have to find role models to help us develop that perspective. Too many people have trained their minds to make excuses and blame their situation on others. If they spent half as much time getting results as they spend fabricating reasons for failure, they would be rich.
Each time you approach success, personality glitches surface to destroy your best laid plans. There simply aren’t enough years in a lifetime to correct all of these flaws. However, you can compensate for your weaknesses by building character as you earn. The first challenge is to uncover your true values, both positive and negative.
Your talent determines your potential success, but it is your personality that determines your actual achievements. You can change your personality if you are willing to go through a powerful crisis. It requires facing up to how wrong you are and it goes against your deepest feelings of what is right. Right now, the final conclusion of all of your thoughts is that you are right and everyone else is wrong. It is an expensive argument. You can be right or you can be rich. Ultimately, you will be one or the other.
Personality values are stubborn traits because we believe they reflect who we really are. If you identify yourself as a nice person, you probably believe your own press. Unconsciously, you expect other people to act nice as well. The trait of forcefulness becomes taboo, rendering you unable to lead people in a difficult or dangerous situation.
Negative personality values include prejudice and bigotry. People who hate because of race or religion find it extremely hard to let go of feelings they have most likely shared with family members and friends since childhood.
Ego values exist more on the surface. On top of our core and personality values, we carry superficial values related to style or preference. These are shallow social values learned from peers. If a persona is the mask we wear in society, ego is the makeup. It exists in the way we use words to make ourselves seem important. These are childish values that give way to reason. You can change them easily if you are willing to endure the embarrassment of seeing yourself as others see you.
Ego values are related to false pride. Some of them are fun: Who doesn’t enjoy dressing up and going out with friends? And don’t we all love to tell stories that make us look good? Other ego values present galling limitations. The ego wants to exclude people who are different. That kind of thinking can damage one’s career.
BIRDS OF A FEATHER
We are attracted to other people who share our values. Wealthy people make friends with other wealthy people. Prosperity begins with an appreciation for money and the things it can buy. People who share that value are attracted by superior products. They dress alike and live in similar homes.
Entrepreneurs share certain values that are recognized and appreciated by other free agents. They tend to be thrifty and generous at the same time. They keep expenses low, yet they reward performance generously. We have heard reports from entrepreneurs about the difficulty of hiring corporate people. It seems that big company folks have a habit of busting small business budgets with high priced meeting rooms and marketing schemes that bring no clear return on investment. Reality-based values are the difference between survival and disaster for entrepreneurs.
When you build the web of connections that will determine your future, look for people who have the values you desire to have for yourself. Values determine compatibility. If yours don’t match up with those of potential partners, you won’t get along for very long.
To attract compatible people, communicate what is important to you. Declare aloud the values that bring you fulfillment. Let everyone know where you stand, or risk unconsciously deceiving other people. You can’t build a successful business or a happy life with people who don’t share your values.
Beware of self-deception and double binds. Imagine, for instance, a father whose most important value is his family. He wants to provide for them and works long hours to do so. But at the end of the work day, he is too tired to spend time with them. If you understand your priorities clearly, you can begin to design a lifestyle that protects what is really meaningful.
Most people’s careers begin with an accident and unfold as a tragedy. You may have taken a test and scored high in a certain area, so your guidance counselor designed your education to follow that tendency. Or perhaps your parents wanted you to be something they, not you, could be proud of. On every step along the way, someone else was making a design for you. When you finally arrived at your career, it may not have been the one you would have chosen. If so you must assess your values all over again.
It takes courage to declare what matters most to you. People close to you may be shocked when you affirm your values. But when this piece is in place, your dream has begun. You have established roots.
UNIVERSAL VALUES
The values of business have evolved over centuries through tribes and villages in bazaars and marketplaces. Over the centuries we have learned how to understand the needs of others.
The first two needs that must be fulfilled in business are trust and pleasure. Before people spend money, they must first have trust. Earning the trust of your customers and associates is the first order of business for an entrepreneur. Honesty is the foundation of integrity. Business systems based on corruption eventually fall.
The golden rule is your best counsel. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Treating other people the way you want to be treated isn’t just a good philosophy; it’s good business.
Work with honest associates. Finally, you will be judged by the company you keep. How people perceive you and your team determines whether or not they will use your product or service.
Price also sets the tone for the value of your product. While the lowest economic rung of society spends their money based on the price of the product alone, the wealthier portion of society is developing a more sophisticated set of values: they are attracted by quality, and they are willing to pay for it.
Once trust is established, people need pleasure. Babies that are untouched as infants grow slower and suffer more illness than those that are held and caressed. People require sensory gratification. After survival needs are fulfilled, recreation needs take precedence. Perhaps that is why the most important U.S. export is films. Entertainment is good for the soul.
Values
