Collection of mysticism. + author’s biography including essays about books. Tsvetana Alеkhina

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Collection of mysticism. + author’s biography including essays about books - Tsvetana Alеkhina

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was a pagan. When my sister and I were little, she read us fairy tales, and told us entertaining stories, legends about the gods. I never believed in it, and I did not really listen. Our parents were against these legends. However, my sister loved these stories, and believed with her grandmother in these gods. We grew up, my sister continues to believe in these myths, but I do not. Sometimes we have controversial questions about this.

      – What city are you from?

      – We were born here in Norilsk, then moved to live in Voronezh, and my grandmother stayed in this city. This is her hometown. My childhood was spent in the city of Norilsk.

      – I remember one of the legends about the gods, my grandmother told my sister and me about Mara Maren. How could I have known then that I would meet her? – She will turn the whole fur coat inside out for you. Grandma was talking. – Everything inside. This is the woman of the kingdom of Navi. Her possessions lie beyond the black river, across which the Kalinov Bridge is spanned, guarded by a three-headed Serpent. The Great Lady Madder loves to rest in her icy Palaces in the far north of the Earth. Her reign time is winter. When all nature is asleep. Madder does not like when her peace is disturbed. When the awakening comes, and the Earth begins to revive after hibernation, the reign of Madder ends. Moreover, she goes to her chambers. I was silent for a minute and noticed how my neighbor was listening to me attentively.

      – And then, what happened then?

      – Later. Remembering everything from the beginning. We were going to fly with my sister, but we did not find anyone to take care of the children. She brings them up alone, and I help her. We decided that I would fly alone, and on the day of departure she saw me off, protected me like a mother. My sister is older than I am and has always taken care of me. It was not for nothing that she asked me to remember everything I said, what I laughed at. Because before the flight we remembered grandmother’s fairy tales, had a good evening with her children. When I arrived here, my friends and I were laughing at the same fairy tales; perhaps this was the reason for my adventures. We laughed at them even when we went to the cemetery. Then I dreamed of seeing the image of this woman again. I have been looking forward to this moment. At that time, I could not even think that this was the goddess of the Slavic Pantheon. At first, I thought it was hallucinations from the cold, or from excess alcohol. Then I decided that it was the grandmother’s spirit that took me away or I would go crazy. I did not know who to tell all this to, and it was only after talking with my sister that I realized that I was entering another world, another dimension. In addition, I do not even get there, but they take me away and bring me back. However, why? I myself became interested, and I began to wait for our meeting with her. Our conversation was interrupted by a doctor’s visit. Then we went to lunch, after lunch we lay down on the bed, and I continued my story.

      – When I went to bed, I was full of hopes that she would come again, or rather fly in the form of snowflakes. However, my hopes were not fulfilled. In addition, I fell into a deep, deep sleep. In my dream, I dreamed of a clearing, bats dancing by the fire, I wanted to approach them, and I took a decisive step towards them. There was dampness underfoot; the air was heavy because of the large amount of moss. I was able to see these trolls; they looked like little devils with bat wings. These creatures had no heels, and their pointed ears gave a funny look. These creatures were clearly having fun, their squeaking sounded disgusting, the fire was not burning with a natural flame; something had obviously been thrown into it. The appearance of a nasty old woman did not spoil the fun, but rather intensified it. The old woman began to prepare some kind of drink on the fire. She uttered incomprehensible words, poured some mixtures into the pot. The liquid in the pot bubbled, and gave off an unpleasant smell to the whole neighborhood. Along with this smell, the fog began to come. At first, it was a thin puff of smoke, and then the fog began to thicken and turned into thick dark smoke. Because of this smoke, nothing was visible. Taking advantage of this moment, I came closer. Hoping that no one sees me, I stood in front of the fire, trying to look into the pot. The liquid in it looked like red wine. The old woman looked at me and did not say a word. The ritual was over, the fog continued to advance. The little men ran screaming somewhere, and I followed them at a brisk pace, not seeing where I was going. I walked, not knowing what I was stepping on, there was dampness under my feet, and branches of bushes fell into my face. The only thing I looked at was the little infuriates, it seemed to me they knew where to go.

      The fog began to clear, and I began to look around. It was no longer a clearing covered with moss, but more like an autumn abandoned forest. All the trees and shrubs were leafless. The sky was not visible, it was not there as such, and there was a black haze. It was a cold autumn, and the air was wet and cold. A cold shiver ran through my body, and I began to shake from the cold. Wet, yellowed leaves rustled underfoot.

      I noticed that one of the devils had strayed from his own and stuck in the bush. I decided to help him get out, and squatted down for this. The imp was scared of me, and I felt funny. Barely suppressing a smile, I picked it up, and it turned out to be not so nasty. I continued to shake from the cold, and I held him with trembling hands. The imp tried to escape; I squeezed him even harder and asked: – where am I?

      – On the threshold of the Navi world. The imp squeaked in a childish voice.

      – Where is everyone going?

      – You need to get across the Kalinov Bridge faster. The holiday is coming soon.

      – Which one?

      – At Mara Madder’s ball. She is coming into her own soon. She holds a celebration in her honor every year. Nevertheless, she has a limited number of guests. If you are not invited, then it is better not to show yourself in her eyes. Run away from here. She will punish you.

      The more I was removed from her, the closer I wanted to be to her.

      – How do I get to the party? In addition, I squeezed him even harder. This creature was smaller than my palm. He began to beep loudly and attract attention. I let him go and he flew away. All I had to do was not noticeably follow everyone.

      The souls of the dead began to join our small company. They were ghosts with light transparent eyes. They flew after the devils, I realized that they were meeting guests and escorting them to the place. I began not to have time to follow these evil spirits, and strengthened my step. Souls continued to fly up and join, but there were not many of them yet. I remembered the words that the bat had squeaked to me that the number of guests was limited.

      The flying company made an abrupt stop, and I took a breath. Looking around, we found ourselves on the edge of the forest; there was a large stump in the middle. An old woman stood next to him and poured out the same red drink that was brewed in another clearing. The drink was poured into the skulls, surprisingly it was hot, and everyone who received it stood in a circle. At first, the ghosts got up, as I understood by seniority, they stood in a circle holding the skulls. Then the bats, they rather protected the guests. Thus, a double circle was formed around this stump. I really wanted to drink this drink. I was shaking from the cold, despite walking fast. I felt weakness in my body, I felt my strength leaving me, and I fell into unconsciousness. The sight of this old woman was so terrible, I was afraid to approach her. My mouth was dry and all I wanted was a sip of water.

      The inhabitants of the clearing continued their journey, first the besyat, followed by the dead souls. There were more than a hundred of them. The old woman was the last to set off. All the guests and their escorts took the skulls with them. The old woman left her medicine here, and I was waiting for her to leave. As soon as she left, I ran up to the stump. There was a surprisingly hot

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