Who am I, anyway?
- Am I at peace with myself and satisfied?
- If not, what exactly makes me dissatisfied?
- What do I do about this dissatisfaction?
- What are my strengths?
- What can I do particularly well?
- How often do my strengths come to the fore in everyday life?
- What are my weaknesses?
- How often do my weaknesses stand in my way?
- What is my basic attitude towards life?
- What do I want to achieve in my life?
- Am I on the right track to doing this?
- What is really important to me?
- Does what's important to me have a place in my life?
- What am I interested in and how much time do I spend?
- How would someone who met me for the first time perceive me?
- If I could wish for a change, what would it be?
Also, ask yourself very loose and simple questions. Think about what music you like to listen to, what movies you like to watch and what you prefer to eat. Call up your hobbies in front of your eyes and whether they satisfy you.
Get to know each other completely. The more accurate, the better. You will find that you can answer some questions quickly and easily, while some are difficult for you. That is quite normal and sense of exercise.
Work with the answers that come out of this exercise. Intensify what you like and what already works well in your life. Take advantage of your strengths. Don't let your weaknesses sit on you and don't let them demotivate you. Work against them! In the following you will find some help for this. Call up your goals and wishes before your eyes and make concrete plans to achieve them.
Realize that you are the most important person in your life. This is not a selfish thought, but the key to your happiness. Even if other people have a high value in your life, you are still responsible for yourself. You can only love others if you love yourself. You can only help others if you are able to help yourself. You can only be a good role model for others if you can be proud of yourself. These are logical principles of true self-consciousness. Recognize and accept your responsibility towards yourself. Your personal happiness begins with you.
Get to know the person who holds your life in their hands. So you will learn to trust and love this person.
2. Measure for more self-confidence: Be independent
If it is your life and you have full responsibility, why should it be important or decisive what other people think about you? The fear of not pleasing others or of falling into their envy strongly affects our everyday lives. We adapt our behaviour accordingly and put our own interests and wishes aside. Does that look familiar to you? Do you know that from yourself? If so, that's no reason to get upset. It's just a good time to stop.
Too many people buy status symbols they can't afford to impress others with. We lie about our interests to make a positive impression. We say "yes" when we actually mean "no" and say that we are doing well when we are doing badly in reality. All this only because we constantly think about how our counterpart perceives us. Please don't take this the wrong way: thinking about one's external impression can be helpful, but that thought should not come first. First you come! Remember: There is only one opinion about you that really counts and this is your own!
What good does it do you to please others? How does it get you ahead in life? In fact, this has only very weak and superficial advantages for you. If, for example, you buy an expensive car to impress others, you are putting yourself in an unfavourable position. Someone will perceive you for about a minute and admire you for the great vehicle. After that this person will continue again and take care of his own affairs. The other 23 hours and 59 minutes of the day you have to stand straight for the car. They must bear the high costs and full responsibility for them.
If you go to work sick to make a positive impression on your boss, do yourself no favours at all. You are endangering your health in the long term, while the praise you receive only lasts for a few minutes. The truth is that even if you don't go to work, the company you work for will continue to exist. You are primarily responsible for yourself and not for what your employer thinks about you.
If you lose weight, exercise regularly and dress well, then you should do it for yourself first and foremost. It is important that you feel comfortable in your skin, because you only have this one body. The aesthetic feelings of other people should only play a subordinate role here. Everyone has a different taste, so you can't please everyone anyway. While you use your body continuously to cope with your everyday life, other people only see it for a relatively short time. So who should he be more important to?
A self-confident person acts in his own interest and does not think about what others might think. By the way, it is interesting to note that other people are more attracted to self-confident and self-determined personalities anyway. In plain language, this means that the stronger you build up and expand your self-confidence, the more attractive and desirable you will be in the eyes of others.
Be independent of foreign opinions and do your very own thing. A self-confident person recognizes and understands that responsibility means power. When you let other people decide how you dress, what you buy or how you spend your time, you give them power. Power over your life that would actually be better off in your own hands. But if you take full responsibility, you have full power. It's entirely up to you.
3. Measure for more self-confidence: Leave the comfort zone
In my coaching I determine their comfort zone together with my clients. The comfort zone is the nest of habits that we have built up over many years and in which we make ourselves comfortable. Always the same people, places, activities, beliefs, etc. Since this term is often misunderstood, I will give you a concrete example of the classic comfort zone, as we know it from everyday life:
Our example person is called Lisa. Lisa is 30 years old, working and a rather introverted person. She would claim of herself to be little self-confident and would like to change something about it. If you look at their everyday lives, you see that they follow a pattern. The respective days are very similar to each other and there is very little variety in them. Lisa goes to work regularly, comes home afterwards, takes care of the household and then makes herself comfortable in front of the television or in the armchair with a book. She has known her friends for a very long time and if she spends time with them, then either on the phone, at her or her friends' home or in her favourite pub. She is rather sceptical towards new acquaintances and is afraid to dissolve inner blockades or to fight long existing fears. Instead, she incorporates detours into her life that avoid confrontations and unpleasant situations. It's hard for her to get involved with new things. She doesn't like trying out new foods, reading books that don't fit her favourite genre, or testing new sports.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Can a few of these points also be applied to your situation? If so, then that's nothing to be ashamed of. It's convenient to set up a comfort zone. But you pay a high price for it: it costs us self-confidence and above all self-confidence.
The happiness and
