made a bad mistake, trying to let her ex-husband, Ryan, back into the girls’ lives and her own. Ryan had proved to be as incapable of commitment as ever.
But now?
Riley looked over at Blaine, and realized that he was already looking at her. He was smiling, and she smiled back. There was definitely a spark between them. They’d even danced and kissed during a date last month – their only one-on-one date so far. But Riley cringed a little inside as she remembered how awkwardly it had ended – with her running off to work on a case.
Blaine seemed to have forgiven her.
But where were things going between them?
Again, that lurking darkness welled up inside Riley.
Sooner or later, this happy illusion of family and friendship could give way to the reality of evil – to murder and cruelty and human monsters.
And she had a feeling, deep inside, that it was going to happen very soon.
CHAPTER TWO
Sitting in the front row of the auditorium at Quantico, Riley felt terribly ill at ease. She’d faced down countless vicious killers without losing her composure. But right now, she felt on the verge of outright panic.
FBI Director Gavin Milner stood at the podium at the front of the big room. He was speaking of Riley’s long career – especially the case that she was being honored for, the cold case of the so-called “Matchbook Killer.”
Riley was struck by the distinguished baritone purr of his voice. She’d rarely spoken with Director Milner, but she liked him. He was a slight, dapper little man with a flawlessly neat mustache. Riley thought he looked and sounded more like a dean of some fine arts school than the head of the nation’s most elite law enforcement organization.
Riley hadn’t been listening to his actual words very well. She was much too nervous and self-conscious as it was. But now that he seemed to be nearing the end of his speech, Riley paid more attention.
Milner said, “We all know of Special Agent Riley Paige’s courage, intelligence, and grace under pressure. She’s been honored for all these qualities in the past. But we are here today to honor her for something different – her long-term tenacity, her determination not to leave justice undone. Because of her efforts, a killer who claimed three victims twenty-five years ago faces justice at last. We all owe her a debt of gratitude for her service – and for her example.”
He smiled, looking straight at her. He picked up the box with the award in it.
That’s my cue, Riley thought.
Her legs felt wobbly as she got up from her chair and made her way up onto the stage.
She stepped to the side of the podium and Milner hung the Medal of Perseverance by a ribbon around her neck.
It felt surprisingly heavy.
Strange, Riley thought. The others didn’t feel like this.
She’d received three other such awards over the years – the Shield of Bravery, and Medals of Valor and Meritorious Achievement.
But this one felt heavier – and different.
It felt almost wrong somehow.
Riley wasn’t sure just why.
FBI Director Gavin Milner patted Riley on the shoulder and chuckled a little.
He said to Riley in a near-whisper …
“Something to add to your collection, eh?”
Riley laughed nervously and shook the director’s hand.
The people in the auditorium burst into a round of applause.
Again with a chuckle and in a near-whisper, Director Milner said, “It’s time to face your public.”
Riley turned around and was rather overcome by what she saw.
There were more people in the auditorium than she’d realized. And every face was familiar – a friend, a family member, a colleague, or someone she’d helped or saved in the line of duty.
They were all on their feet, smiling and clapping.
Riley’s throat caught, and tears formed in her eyes.
They all believe in me so much.
She felt grateful and humble – but she also felt a spasm of guilt.
What would these same people think of her if they knew all of her darkest secrets?
They knew nothing about her current relationship with a savage but brilliant killer who had escaped from Sing Sing. They certainly didn’t suspect that the criminal had helped her solve several cases. And they couldn’t possibly know how hopelessly entwined Riley’s own life was with Shane Hatcher’s.
Riley almost shuddered at the thought.
No wonder this medal felt heavier than the others.
No, I don’t deserve this, Riley thought.
But what was she going to do – turn around and give it back to Director Milner?
Instead, she managed to smile and utter a few words of appreciation. Then she stepped carefully down off the stage.
A few moments later, Riley was in a large, crowded room that had been set up with refreshments. It looked like most of the people who had been in the auditorium were here. She was the center of a swirl of activity as everyone took turns congratulating her. She was grateful for the stabilizing presence of Director Milner, who stood right beside her.
In the first wave of well-wishers were colleagues – fellow field agents, specialists, administrators, and office workers.
Most of them were visibly happy for her. For example, Sam Flores, the nerdish head of the Quantico technical analysis team, gave her a silent thumbs-up and a thoroughly sincere smile and moved on.
But Riley also had her share of enemies, and they were here as well. The youngest was Emily Creighton, a fairly inexperienced agent who fancied herself to be Riley’s rival. Riley had called her out on a rookie mistake a few months back, and Creighton had resented her ever since.
When it came Creighton’s turn to congratulate Riley, the younger agent forced a smile through her clenched teeth, shook her hand, mumbled “Congratulations,” and wandered away.
A few more colleagues came and went before Special Agent in Charge Carl Walder stepped toward Riley. Babyish both in appearance and behavior, Walder was Riley’s idea of the ultimate bureaucrat. She was always at odds with him, and he with her. In fact, he’d suspended and even fired her on a few occasions.
But right now Riley was amused by his expression of cringing goodwill toward her. With Director Milner standing beside her, Walder didn’t dare show anything but feigned respect.
His hand was damp and cold as he shook hers, and she noticed beads of sweat on his forehead.
“A well-deserved honor, Agent Paige,” he said in a shaky voice. “We are
