in Cheapside, what do they portend?"
"Hawthorn-tree at Glassenbury, what think you of it?"
"Noah's flood, whither went the waters?"
"Pied Piper, was he a man or dæmon?"
"Triumphant Arch erected in Cheapside 1691, described."
A selection from this curious seventeenth-century miscellany was made by Mr. J. Underhill, and published by Walter Scott a few years ago.
Shenstone's Schoolmistress is one of the works of genius which is little known in the present day, but well repays perusal. A humorous table of contents was prepared by the author, which he styled an index. He wrote: "I have added a ludicrous index purely to show (fools) that I am in jest." This was afterwards omitted, but D'Israeli reprinted it in his Curiosities of Literature. It contains an amusing précis of the chief points of the poem; the whole is short, and a few extracts will give an idea of its plan:
"A circumstance in the situation of the mansion of early Discipline, discovering the surprising influence of the connexion of ideas."
"Some peculiarities indicative of a country school, with a short sketch of the sovereign presiding over it."
"Some account of her night-cap, apron and a tremendous description of her birchen sceptre."
"Her titles and punctilious nicety in the ceremonious assertion of them."
"A view of this rural potentate as seated in her chair of state, conferring honours distributing bounties and dispensing proclamations."
Gay composed a full and humorous index for his interesting picture of eighteenth-century London—Trivia. The poet added a few entries to the index in the quarto edition of his Poems (1720). The following selected references will show the character of the index:
"Asses, their arrogance."
"Autumn, what cries then in use."
"Bully, his insolence to be corrected."
"Chairs and chariots prejudicial to health."
"Cellar, the misfortune of falling into one."
"Coach fallen into a hole described."
"Glazier, his skill at football."
"London, its happiness before the invention of Coaches and Chairs."
"Periwigs, how stolen off the head."
"Quarrels for the wall to be avoided."
"Schoolboys, mischievous in frosty weather."
"Wall, to whom to be given.
–– to whom to be denied."
"Women, the ill consequence of gazing on them."
Of modern examples of the amusing index, by far the best is that added to the inimitable Biglow Papers by the accomplished author, James Russell Lowell. Here are some extracts from the index to the First Series:
"Adam, eldest son of, respected."
"Babel, probably the first congress."
"Birch, virtue of, in instilling certain of the dead languages."
"Cæsar, a tribute to. His Veni, Vidi, Vici censured for undue prolixity."
"Castles, Spanish, comfortable accommodation in."
"Eating Words, habit of, convenient in time of famine."
"Longinus recommends swearing (Fuseli did the same thing)."
"No, a monosyllable. Hard to utter."
"Noah enclosed letter in bottle, probably."
"Ulysses, husband of Penelope. Borrows money. (For full particulars see Homer and Dante.)"
"Wrong, abstract, safe to oppose."
The following are from the Second Series:
"Antony of Padua, Saint, happy in his hearers."
"Applause, popular, the summum bonum."
"'Atlantic,' editors of, See Neptune. [There is no entry under Neptune.]"
"Belmont. See Woods."
"Bible, not composed for use of coloured persons."
"Charles I, accident to his neck."
"Ezekiel would make a poor figure at a Caucus."
"Facts, their unamiability. Compared to an old fashioned stage-coach."
"Family trees, a primitive forest of."
"Jeremiah hardly the best guide in modern politics."
"Missionaries, useful to alligators. Culinary liabilities of."
"Rum and water combine kindly."
"Shoddy, poor covering for outer or inner man."
"'They'll say,' a notable bully."
"Woods, the, See Belmont."
"World, this, its unhappy temper."
"Writing, dangerous to reputation."
The witty Dr. William King, student of Christ Church, Oxford, and afterwards Judge of the Irish Court of Admiralty, presented an example of the skilled controversialist spoken of by Hill Burton as letting fly "a few Parthian arrows from the Index." He was dubbed by Isaac D'Israeli the inventor of satirical indexes, and he certainly succeeded in producing several ill-natured ones.
When the wits of Christ Church produced under the name of the Hon. Charles Boyle the clever volume with which they thought to annihilate the great Dr. Bentley, Dr. King was the one who assisted by producing a bitter index.
The first edition of Dr. Bentley's Dissertation on the Epistles of Phalaris and the Fables of Esop examin'd (1698) has no index; but Dr. King's work was added to the second edition published in the same year. It was styled, A short account of Dr. Bentley by way of Index. Then follows:
"Dr. Bentley's true story of the MS. prov'd false by the testimonies of
–– Mr. Bennet, p. 6.
–– Mr. Gibson, p. 7.
–– Dr. King, p. 8.
–– Dr. Bentley, p. 19."
"Dr. Bentley's civil usage of Mr. Boyle.
"His civil language to
–– Mr. Boyle.
–– Sir W. Temple.
"His singular humanity to
–– Mr. Boyle.
––
