were he wasn’t gon’ get there anyway. As far as he was concerned, he was going to wherever he got to. That being the case, Brer Rabbit said he’d carry him along and they could call on Miz Meadows and the girls. That was all right with Brer Turtle.
Miz Meadows and the girls were glad to have some company and invited them in to set a spell. Brer Turtle was too low to sit on the floor and take part in the conversation, and when they sat him in a chair, he still wasn’t high enough. Finally, Miz Meadows put him on the mantelpiece above the fireplace, where he could take part in everything that was going on.
Very quickly the conversation got around to Brer Rabbit riding Brer Fox like a horse the day before.
“I would’ve ridden him over this morning,” said Brer Rabbit, “but I rode him so hard yesterday that he’s kinna lame in one leg this morning. I may be forced to sell him.”
Brer Turtle spoke up. “Well, Brer Rabbit, please sell him out of the neighborhood. Why, day before yesterday Brer Fox passed me on the road, and do you know what he said?”
Quite naturally nobody did, since they weren’t there.
“He looked at me and said, ‘Hello, Stinkin’ Jim!’”
“He didn’t![48]” exclaimed Miz Meadows. She and the girls were dismayed that Brer Fox would talk like that to a fine gentleman like Brer Turtle.
Now, while all this was going on, Brer Fox was standing in the back door, hearing every word. He sho’ heard more than he bargained for[49], which is always how it is with folks who put their ears in other folks’ conversations. The talk about him got so bad that the only way to stop it was to walk in like he’d just got there.
“Good day, everybody!” he said, grinning, and having taken care of all the pleasantries, he made a grab for[50] Brer Rabbit.
Miz Meadows and the girls commenced to hollering and screaming and carrying on. Brer Turtle was scampering around on the mantelpiece and he got so excited that he tripped, fell off, and landed right on Brer Fox’s head.
That brought all the commotion to a halt. Brer Fox rubbed the knot on his head, looked around, and Brer Rabbit was nowhere to be seen. Brer Fox looked and looked until finally, he saw some soot falling out of the chimney and into the fireplace.
“Aha!” says he. “I’m gon’ light a fire in the fireplace and smoke you out, Brer Rabbit.” He started stacking wood in the fireplace.
Brer Rabbit laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“Ain’t gon’ tell[51], Brer Fox.”
“What you laughing at, I said.”
“Well, nothing, except I just found a box of money hid up here behind a loose brick.”
Brer Fox wasn’t gon’ get fooled this time. “That’s a lie, and you know it.” He commenced to stacking the wood again.
“Don’t have to take my word for it,” Brer Rabbit said, just as calmly as he could be. “Look up here and see for yourself.”
Brer Fox peered up the chimney. Brer Rabbit dropped a brick square on his head. If somebody dropped a brick on your head, that would pretty well take care of things, now wouldn’t it?
Brer Wolf Tries to Catch Brer Rabbit
After Brer Rabbit dropped the brick on Brer Fox’s head, Brer Fox was laid up in the hospital for a week or so. The day he got out he commenced to scheming again[52].
He was walking down the road and ran into his cousin, Brer Wolf. They hadn’t seen each other since the big family barbecue last Juvember, so they hugged and exchanged news about their kin, and then Brer Fox brought his cousin up to date on all that Brer Rabbit had been doing.
“This has got to stop,” says Brer Wolf. “We got to get that rabbit.”
“Easier said than done.[53]”
“Well, I got a plan, but for it to work, we got to get him inside your house, Brer Fox.”
“He wouldn’t come in my house if you promised him free lettuce and yogurt for a year.”
“Don’t you worry about that. I can get him there,” says Brer Wolf.
“How?”
“You go home, Brer Fox, get in bed and make like you dead. And don’t say nothing until Brer Rabbit puts his hands on you. When he does, grab him, and we got us a good supper!”
Brer Wolf went over to Brer Rabbit’s house and knocked on the door. Bam! Bam! Bam! Nobody answered. Brer Wolf commenced to banging and kicking on the door like he didn’t have no manners[54], which he didn’t. BLAMMITY BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAMMITY!
Finally a teenichy voice came from inside. “Who’s there?”
“A friend.”
“All them what say friend ain’t friend,” Brer Rabbit answered. “Who’s there?”
“I got bad news.”
Bad news will get folks to listen when good news won’t. Brer Rabbit cracked the door and peeked half-a-eyeball out.
“Brer Fox died this morning,” Brer Wolf said real mournfullike.
Brer Rabbit raised half-a-eyebrow. “That so?[55]”
“He never recuperated from that lick on the head when you dropped the brick on him. I just thought you’d want to know.”
This was bad news that was sho’ nuf good news. But it wasn’t news to be accepted on somebody else’s say-so. He decided to sneak over to Brer Fox’s and verify it.
When he got there, everything was quiet and still. He peeped through the open window, and there, lying on the bed, hands folded across his chest, eyes closed, was Brer Fox.
“Po’ Brer Fox,” said Brer Rabbit. “He sho’ is dead. Leastwise he look dead. Of course, I always heard that when folks was dead and somebody came to see ’em, dead folks would raise up a leg and holler ‘Wahoo!’”
Brer Fox raised up his leg and hollered, “Wahoo!”
Brer Rabbit didn’t waste no time getting away from there.
Brer Rabbit Finally Gets Beaten
You know, it ain’t possible to go through life without meeting your match[56] some time or other. Brer Rabbit was no exception.
One day he and Brer Turtle were having a good laugh, remembering the time Brer Turtle conked Brer Fox on the head.
Brer Turtle said, “If
He didn’t! – (
heard more than he bargained for – (
made a grab for – (
Ain’t gon’ tell – (
commenced to scheming again – (
Easier said than done. – (
like he didn’t have no manners – (
That so? – (
without meeting your match – (
