Julian Corkle is a Filthy Liar. D. Connell J.

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      Julian Corkle

      Is A Filthy Liar

      D.J. Connell

      

      To my mother Marion, who first got me interested in funny

      business, and to my sister Jocelyn, who’s never stopped laughing at me.

      Table of Contents

       Cover Page

       Title Page

       11

       12

       13

       14

       15

       16

       17

       18

       19

       20

       21

       22

       23

       24

       25

       26

       27

       28

       29

       30

       31

       32

       33

       34

       35

       36

       Acknowledgements

       About the Author

       Copyright

       About the Publisher

       Authors Note

      Dag: 1. Australian for the dung that collects on a sheep’s backside. 2. An unfashionable, unappealing person. 3. A fool.

       ‘Look at that dag with the mullet cut!’

       1

      Ulverston

      Colleen Corkle knew her son had star quality from the moment he appeared. She was straining forward on the delivery bed when his head popped out. The baby’s eyelids flicked open, and in the instant before the nurse scooped him up, his eyes locked on hers. Colleen recognised the spark in the murky depths of the new irises and smiled. As the baby was whisked away, he started wailing.

      ‘Listen to those lungs!’ The doctor finished examining the newborn and handed him back to the nurse. ‘Another Sinatra!’

      The baby continued to wail as he was carried to a room down the corridor where the nurse wiped him clean and dressed him in a muslin gown.

      ‘For goodness’ sake, shut that baby up!’ A nursing sister poked her head in the doorway. She was frowning. ‘We’ve got a woman in labour next door.’

      The nurse hurriedly wrapped a blanket around the baby and carried him back to the birthing room.

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