he wrestled with his adolescent lust! He mortified the flesh by running till exhausted and he spent so much time under icy showers that he had a permanent cold.
In the end he found less dramatic strategies to master his own body. At the first hint of arousal, he would turn to certain spiritual exercises which sublimated carnal longings into Marian devotion, and if he felt himself backsliding, he would reinforce the sublimation process by adopting positions of great physical discomfort, such as kneeling across the sharp edge of a doorstep. But gradually the need for this reinforcement diminished. The grace of God and his strong human will was enough. And enough also, so it seemed, to save him from that other tendency which had so disturbed Adolfo.
Girls and ghosts. By the end of his teens he believed he had them both under control. His sense of vocation felt strong and real. But still, in deference to his parents who urged him to be absolutely certain before taking the final step, he tested it further. He enrolled at Seville University to study history and laid himself open to all the temptations of student life. With these successfully resisted and a degree in his pocket, he demonstrated that his inner strength was not merely self-denial, which can be a self-congratulatory and ultimately sterile form of virtue, by joining one of the Church’s missions to South America as a voluntary helper. Here he spent eighteen months in the rainforest, facing up to the best and the worst in his fellow men, and in himself.
Finally he was ready. His vocation felt powerful and permanent. Every year in the spring the pain returned as strong as ever, though the stigmata had shrunk now to a few spots of blood. Still he kept silent about the experience. When all else failed, this was God’s private earnest of the rightness of his choice.
So he entered the seminary in Seville at the age of twenty-three at the same time as nineteen-year-old Sam Flood entered Melbourne University, both convinced they knew exactly who they were and what they were doing and where the paths of their lives were leading them.
And neither yet understanding that a path is not a prospectus and that it may, in the instant it takes for a word to be spoken or a finger-hold to be lost, slip right off your map and lead you somewhere unimagined in all your certainties.
In the cases of Sam Flood and Miguel Madero, this place was situated far to the north.
In a county called Cumbria.
In a valley called Skaddale.
In a village called Illthwaite.
Part Two The Valley of the Shadow
Lady, it’s madness to venture aloneInto that darkness the dwelling of ghosts.
‘The Poem of Heldi Hundingsbani (2)’ Poetic Edda
‘So why’s it called Illthwaite?’ asked Sam Flood.
She thought the bar was empty except for herself and Mrs Appledore but the answer came from behind her.
‘Illthwaite. An ill name for an ill place. Isn’t that what they say, Mrs Appledore?’
She turned to see a man emerging from the shady corner on the far side of the chimney breast.
Almost as skinny as she was and not much taller, with a pallid wrinkled face swelling from a pointed chin to a bulbous brow above which a few sad last grey hairs clung like sea grass on a sanddune, he had the look of a superannuated leprechaun, a similitude underlined by the garish green-and-orange checked waistcoat he wore under a dark grey suit jacket, shiny with age. His voice was high-pitched without being squeaky. He could have been anything from seventy to ninety. But his eyes were bright and keen.
‘And where do they say that, Mr Melton? Down at the Powderham, is it, where they’ve got more tongue than brain?’ said the landlady. ‘If you think silly gossip’s worth an extra ten p on your pint, maybe you should drink there more often.’
She spoke with a mock menace that wasn’t altogether mock.
The old man was unfazed.
‘I’ll take it under advisement, Mrs Appledore,’ he said. ‘Though we shouldn’t forget that the Powderham also offers Thai cuisine and live entertainment, not large incentives to a poor old pensioner, but strong attractions perhaps for a swinging young tourist. None of my business, you say. Quite right. Good day to you both.’
He saluted them with an old peaked cap which matched his waistcoat, set it precisely on his head and went out.
‘Pay him no heed, Miss Flood,’ said the landlady. ‘Ill’s nowt to do with sick or nasty. It comes from St Ylf’s, our church, and thwaite’s an old Viking word for a bit of land that’s been cleared.’
‘So how come the old boy bad-mouths his own village?’
‘Old Noddy Melton’s not local,’ said Mrs Appledore, as if this explained everything. ‘He retired here a few years back to follow his hobby, which is getting up people’s noses. Poor old pensioner indeed! What he gets now is more than most ordinary folk take home while they’re still working. And you need plenty to pay the Powderham’s fancy prices, believe me!’
Sam had noticed the Powderham Arms Hotel as she turned into Skaddale. In fact, not knowing what Illthwaite might offer by way of accommodation, she’d tried to get a room there but found it was booked up. The Stranger House on the other hand, despite its unfancy prices, had been able to give her a choice of its two guest rooms, though not before she and her passport had been subjected to the same kind of scrutiny she’d got from Heathrow Immigration who had broken open five of her Cherry Ripes before being persuaded they weren’t stuffed with crack.
She must have passed some kind of test because Mrs Appledore had become quite voluble as she led the way upstairs. Wayfarers had been stopping here at the Stranger for more than five hundred years, she’d proclaimed proudly. Its curious name derived from the fact that it had once been the Stranger House of Illthwaite Priory, meaning the building where travellers could enjoy the monks’ hospitality for a night or two.
‘That’s fascinating,’ said Sam without conviction as she inspected the bedroom. For once she was glad she wasn’t any bigger. Even at her height, if she’d been wearing her Saturday-night heels, the central low black beam would have been a real danger.
‘It’s a bit spooky, though,’ she went on, looking out at the mist-shrouded landscape through the one small window.
‘Well, it would be, seeing that we’ve got our own spook,’ said the landlady. ‘But nowt to be afraid of, just this dark fellow, likely an old monk, wandering around still. You’ll only ever catch a glimpse of him passing through a slightly open door and you can never catch up with him no matter how fast you move. Go after him, and there he’ll be, passing through another door.’
‘What if you follow him into a room like this, with only one door?’
‘They say once you start following the Dark Man, there’s always another door, no matter how long you keep chasing.’
‘Bit like Hilbert’s Hotel
