I think I’ll wax the car’. When my contractions with my first baby started, I had my husband massaging my back in a flash, I took each twinge deeply seriously, switched off all the phones, refused to sleep and paced the house. I was convinced I’d meet my baby very soon (and terrified at what it was going to take to get to meet her). Twenty-four hours later I was still in labour. My back was rubbed raw. My cervix was still at 3 cm.
Of course, it can take a certain lack of imagination to put your feet up with a good book when labour arrives. But this is exactly what you should be doing. Your latent labour could go on for a very long time. It’s worth preparing yourself for this possibility: ‘My first was a long labour with regular painful contractions and no dilation at all for first 30 hours,’ says Astrid, 36, mother of Levi (5) and Lilly (3). ‘This was devastating psychologically. I was prepared for a long labour but not for such lack of progress.’ If you lose too much sleep at this stage, you could, if it does turn out to be a long haul (and many first labours are), end up with a sleep deficit of two or three nights. This can make you utterly exhausted when you most need energy (i.e. when you are in hard labour and then have to push that baby out).
One of Julia’s clients was scared that if she slept she’d ‘miss’ this part of her labour. Real, active labour, like a screaming newborn, will WAKE YOU UP. Your real labour contractions will not stop if you lie down or drink too much water (a worry bizarrely common to many first-time birthers). So, take this stage of labour seriously: it is your chance to gather your strength, which you will need as you are going to give birth. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon…. .
Early labour tip:
Midwife Kim Kelly has this motto: ‘Deny labour until you can’t any longer.’
Proviso: If you have a history of precipitous (i.e. very swift) labour, or some other medical condition that can affect this birth, you will have prepared in advance by going over your latent labour routine with your midwife (see When to call your Midwife, above). And if your contractions start strongly, very painfully, and close together, call your midwife right away. Trust your instincts, and call your midwife if you think labour is beginning.
This is how Julia handled her own latent labour:
‘I called my midwife who thought I’d have a fast labour this time (I didn’t) then called my doula. It was 5 a.m. My family was up and excited – my son stayed home from school and the house became very active. I took a walk alone and by the time I got back, my home was packed: a friend to watch my four year old, my midwife and her assistant, the birth tub woman, the photographer and her equipment and my neighbours. I started to feel like the proverbial watched pot. So I cooked. My contractions were still not strong. Hours passed and I became frustrated. We sent everyone home. I took a nap, woke up and stomped on my treadmill for a bit, took a long shower, called my mother, went to lunch, and then, despite knowing better, began to panic that my early labour was taking too long. Having a hysterical sob (to my midwife on the phone) finally started my (active) labour. I let it all go; the worry and the expectation. Through those surprisingly strong sobs my active labour quickly began. Larson was born four hours later.’
YOUR PARTNER AND LATENT LABOUR | Your partner may leap into a whirling state of anxiety at the first sign that his progeny is on the way. He’s been waiting nine months too. And he’s probably worried about you. He may show this in odd ways. Many men take a sudden interest in mechanics: the camera, the PC, the camcorder, setting the video to record the big match while you’re gone. He may suddenly need to call a relative or mate, balance his online account or pay some bills. Julia has attended many births with very long early labours. In one, the husband sat at the computer the whole time buying and selling stocks. It worked well for this couple, as he was calm and distracted and not bugging his wife, who was happy to get on with her side of things.
It is important that your partner eats and rests too so that he can be there for you over the course of this birth. If you don’t need him, and he feels that organising his fantasy football team is a necessity at this point, it may be for the best.
TEN WAYS TO HANDLE LATENT LABOUR
1 Think in terms of your ‘birth month’ rather than due date (i.e. two weeks, roughly, either side of the due date). This way you will not become obsessed when your labour is ‘supposed’ to start. And remember latent labour can go on for days.
2 Sleep: you’ll need all the sleep you can get so if you can possibly kip, do so now.
3 Distract yourself: if sleep isn’t an option listen to music/walk your dog/ bake a cake/watch a movie/make some phone calls/put photos in the album/knit/organise your files and try not to think about what’s ahead: it’ll only make you tense.
4 If you can’t stop thinking about it, talk to your midwife/birth partner. Go through your birth plan and your list of fears and what you’re going to do about them. (See Chapter 4: Fear and Pain, page and Chapter 7: Expect the Unexpected, page).
5 Practise your relaxation and visualisation techniques (see Chapter 4, page).
6 Refuel: eat a healthy protein-filled meal, preferably with whole grains for sustained energy. Julia recommends quinoa – a grain you can buy in health food shops; it’s high protein, quick to make and easy on the tummy (you can eat it like a salad, with chopped tomato and cucumber, and French dressing, or hot, like rice).
7 Call your female birth partner: for moral support as well as to give her some warning. (See Chapter 9: The Love of a Good Woman for ways a friend, doula or other female companion can help you in labour.)
8 Before you phone the world to tell them you’re in labour, consider whether you really want your mother barking orders/threatening to call an ambulance for you or friends calling every few hours to see if the baby’s ‘out’ yet.
9 Let your partner do his own thing if he wants. Encourage him to stay calm and distracted, and to eat and rest. Get him to re-read Chapters 8 & 9 of this book to remind him of his role.
10 If you are obsessively thinking about the birth, re-read sections of this book that you found the most comforting and relevant.
Getting going: labour by numbers
For most of us labour quickly becomes a numbers game. Rates of dilation, effacement, station, blood pressure, time, body temperature, contraction counts, fetal heart rates and IV infusions may zip around the room while you’re trying to have productive contractions. Sometimes these stark facts can be reassuring (10 cm! you’re doing brilliantly – you’re ready to push). But most of the time, they’ll just make you anxious and demoralised (only 5 cm – how will you go on?), not to mention distracted from your ‘real’ job.
‘When I found out I was only 5 cm dilated, after what seemed to me hours of really strong contractions, I started to despair,’ says Emily, 34, about her second birth. ‘I couldn’t believe it as I assumed I’d be at 8 or 9 cm by that time. It really shook me. I went on for another hour, but when I was still only at 7 cm, I kind of lost it, mentally. I now think if I hadn’t become so obsessed with how dilated I was and how long it was taking me, I’d have coped much better. I had a fixed idea in my mind of how I should be progressing, and hearing the discouraging numbers dented my confidence.’
The same can be said for your partner. ‘I was reading the electronic fetal monitor print out,’ says James, 29, a first time father. ‘I
