about it. For this reason, hot tubs, saunas and Jacuzzis are not a good idea in pregnancy as they can raise your temperature too high for too long (above 39C/102F) which may affect your baby’s heart rate. Normal baths (unless you go mad with the hot tap and sit there sweltering for hours) will do you and the baby no harm (and probably some good, as you’ll relax).
Bath tip:
Keep a limb out of the water during your bath and lift your body out for a bit if you feel too hot or sweaty.
SEX | Unless you have a contra-indicating medical condition (for example, you have a low lying placenta, your waters have broken early or you have been warned by your doctor to abstain for any other reason) normal sexual intercourse will not harm your baby. Many women, particularly in mid-pregnancy, feel seriously sexy. Since most of us have a low sex drive after pregnancy (for up to a couple of years!) make the most of any rampant phases you may have. Many men, paradoxically, can’t look this gift horse in the mouth: the most common fear among male partners is that their penis’s head will ‘bump the baby’. Luckily no man – no matter how impressively large he is down there – is that well-endowed. He’d have to get through the vagina, mucus plug and cervix, into the uterus then through the amniotic sac before he could do any damage to your baby. This is simply not going to happen. It is, however, best to avoid really forceful or deep penetration – this can be uncomfortable, for a start. Nor will the weight of your partner squeeze the baby out (if only it did medical induction would be distinctly less common). The best tip is to experiment with positions: side-lying, your partner behind you, you on top of him – any angle really, once the missionary position gets tricky. Your orgasm will not make you miscarry (unless you are at risk of premature labour, in which case talk to your midwife). A vibrator is fine, too. There are no studies to show a vibrator cannot be used during pregnancy. But – brace yourself here if you’re squeamish – introducing germs into the vagina during pregnancy is not a good idea, so clean your vibrator well and don’t mix orifices.
Sex tips:
Don’t insert foreign objects, air or water in your vagina during pregnancy. If you bleed at any time after intercourse, contact your doctor/midwife straight away.
If, after orgasms, you experience a lot of uterine contractions, check with your doctor/midwife. Oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ associated with orgasm, can also cause mild, clenching, harmless contractions in your womb after orgasms. (During labour oxytocin is actually the hormone that makes your womb contract to get the baby out.)
If you know you are at risk of premature labour, or if you have any other concerns, talk to your doctor/midwife about whether or not it’s ok to have sex.
Sex can be genuinely beneficial (it tones the pelvic floor muscles, gets the circulation going, relieves tension) but it may feel a bit weird for you in your pregnant state. You have a greater blood supply to your vagina which can affect sensation (it may feel ‘fuller’ down there) and your clitoris may be extra sensitive. You may also feel either less or more lubricated (lubricants like KY Jelly can be helpful if sex becomes uncomfortable). You’ll hear women boast about how rapacious they were throughout pregnancy but if your libido is paltry (or very variable) for nine months try not to feel cheated. You’re swimming in hormones. You may be faintly distracted by the sight of your own body, even if your partner appears to be passionate about it. You may feel like your body has been ‘taken over’ by the baby, and you don’t want to be assailed by anyone else. You may feel constantly sick, swell up like a balloon or have loony mood swings. You may simply be knackered. These things will not make you hot stuff in bed. And that’s OK. Dr Petra Boynton, a psychologist specializing in sex and relationships at University College London says, ‘What tends to disappear is not just the sex, but the communication, comfort, petting. If you’re not feeling sexy you should at least be having rampant hand holding every night.’ We talk more about sex in pregnancy in Chapter 8: Blokes, Birth and Babies.
Dr Petra’s sex tip:
‘There is a bizarre idea that pregnant women are not supposed to be sexual. This is part Victorian hangover and part fear that sex is bad for the baby (it isn’t). Sex toys can actually be a great bonus for pregnant women – they can be soothing as well as sexy. Go for vibrating toys designed for clitoral stimulation rather than penetration. I have had women tell me they used one of these in early labour to cope with low level pain. A colleague of mine, what’s more, discovered that her silicon vibrator on a low, soothing, setting, wrapped in a towel and placed along her baby’s back was a fantastic remedy for her baby’s colic.’
Where to go for help:
You may have dropped this book in horror by now, but if you’re still reading, or have always enjoyed this sort of thing anyway www.nicesextoys.co.uk might be worth a go (your guffaws will be fun for your baby anyway).
HAIR DYE | Except at your scalp, hair is dead tissue that cannot transmit toxins to your body. The hazard from hair dyes is therefore related to the amount of dye that can actually penetrate your scalp and enter your bloodstream while you’re dying your hair, and from residues after you’ve finished. Some recent studies suggested a link between permanent hair dye and an increased risk of bladder cancer (yours, not your baby’s), but no studies have found that dyeing your hair when pregnant will harm your baby. Most midwives will tell you that while the safest colour, when pregnant, is your natural one, dyes that involve minimal scalp touching, such as highlights, are extremely unlikely to damage your baby.
LOTIONS | No studies have found that lotions or make up cause birth defects or otherwise harm a fetus. If they did, there would be few healthy babies knocking around. However, many environmental groups have concerns about ingredients in cosmetics and lotions. This is an area of huge debate and there’s no conclusive evidence either way. For more information try the Women’s Environmental Network (WEN): 4 Pinchin Street, London E1. 020 7481 9004 www.wen.org.uk.
TOXIC SUBSTANCES | Watch out for things known to affect a fetus: cigarette smoke, drugs, large quantities of alcohol, lead (in water and paint – see below), carbon monoxide inhaled in excess, mercury, solvents, benzene and formaldehyde.
PAINT | Best get your partner to paint the nursery because certain types of paint and paint thinners may contain chemicals that aren’t great for the developing fetus. I had a ludicrously strong ‘nesting’ urge towards the end of each of my pregnancies, and found myself uncontrollably painting wardrobes, cots, walls – indeed, anything I could get my hands on. My babies are fine but if I’d known about toxins in paint I might have taken up macramé instead.
Weight gain
Getting it into perspective
It’s the infernally emotive topic: how fat will I get? Some admirable women simply don’t care. They eat healthily and avoid the whole unnecessary issue. They are the minority. At the extreme end are those who quake over the scales, restrict their food intake and panic if they’ve gained an ounce more than the ‘recommendations’. The rest of us, meanwhile, scoff cream cakes with gay abandon then whinge about how fat we are after the baby is born. Your weight in pregnancy should not be your prime concern. What matters is that you produce a healthy, well nourished baby. If you crash or fad diet during pregnancy you can severely damage your baby (inadequate nutrition can lead to low birth weight or premature babies who are at higher risk of complications and death5). So chuck out Atkins, the Zone, or whatever mad fad you’re
