Nice Big American Baby. Judy Budnitz

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       nice big american baby

       judy budnitz

       dedication

      for amanda davis

      contents

       cover

       title page

       visitors

       saving face

       miracle

       sales

       elephant and boy

       immersion

       the kindest cut

       preparedness

       motherland

       acknowledgments

       about the author

       praise

       by the same author

       copyright

       about the publisher

       where we come from

      1. before

      There was a woman who had seven sons and was happy. Then she had a daughter.

      She loved her sons with a furious devotion. But she did not want the daughter, even before she knew it was a daughter. She could feel the baby sitting low in her belly and did not want it.

      Another burden on my back, the woman thought, another mouth to feed.

      From the moment the girl was born she was frail and sickly; she greeted the world with a sneeze. The mother heard the sneeze and felt a heaviness descend upon her heart. Even with the best coddling and foreign medicine, the girl would probably die within the month. Three years at the most. A waste. It would be better, she thought, if the girl died now and got it over with. There were many ways a baby could die. Infant death was common in that part of the world; no one would notice one baby more or less.

      Then she looked at the tiny wrinkled face and felt ashamed. She resolved to love her daughter as she did her sons.

      She named the girl Precious, to remind herself.

      She made a promise to her daughter, but her seven sons were a delight and a distraction and if she did not break that promise she did bend it to its limits, like a young tree in a windstorm. Precious learned to make no demands on her mother. She took the food from the bottom of the bowl at meals and kept her feet clean so she would not leave footprints behind her.

      The woman was happy. Her sons grew tall. People told her how lucky she was: eight children, all of them still living.

      But I have seven children, she would say. And then: Oh. Yes.

      One year the rains came doubly hard, the roads became rivers of mud, and the fruit rotted on the vine. The next year the rains did not come at all. Surely, people said, the third year will be a good year. But they were wrong.

      It had never happened before—two years without rain. Even those people who considered themselves modern began to pray again and to hang charms at their doors.

      The underground stream that fed the electric pump in the village dried up. The woman’s sons went searching for water. They were tall and thin and knew how to travel in the heat of day. They ran and rested, ran and rested. Each time they paused they arranged themselves in a descending line so that all but the oldest could rest in a brother’s shadow.

      They had taken buckets and jars to carry water back to their mother. And to Precious. Precious: always remembered, but always as an afterthought.

      They found a wire fence. The top of the fence was lined with prickly wire like a thornbush. They tore their hands on it, climbing over. Far in the distance they could see a dark smudge bleeding into the sky. They ran closer. It was the largest building they had ever seen, massive and gray and faceless, with three tall chimneys like fingers pointing to the sky. The black smoke that poured from them was like nothing they had ever seen before. It hung in the sky without dissipating, it was dense and heavy, like rain clouds about to burst.

      The oldest said it was a rain factory. He said he remembered hearing people talk about it. He was sure.

      Yes, said another, I heard that too. It’s true.

      Beyond the building they saw a pool, almost a lake. It was perfectly shaped and perfectly still, and the water was the strangest color they had ever seen—bright, bright blue and iridescent, with pearly rainbows on its surface. They agreed that the color must mean it was very pure.

      The first one to taste the water became very sick. His brothers watched him twisting and retching, his arms folded in on themselves like wings. A thick white gravy came out of his mouth and nose. They heard a roaring in the stillness and looked up to see two trucks speeding toward them trailing clouds of dust. They lifted their brother and ran.

      They knew their brother could

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