to have a daughter, and a wife to love him. That was more than Tubruk had.
He glanced at Clodia and found her looking back at him, with something in her expression that brought the blood to his face like a boy’s. She winked at him before turning back to help Cornelia and he felt strangely uncomfortable. He knew he should be going out to see the workers who waited for his orders, but he sat and took another slice of bread and ate it slowly, hoping she would look his way again.
Aurelia swayed slightly and Tubruk moved quickly to her, taking her shoulder. She was incredibly pale and her skin looked waxen. He felt the lack of flesh under her stola and the always present grief swelled in him.
‘You should rest,’ he said quietly. ‘I will bring you more food later.’
She did not reply and her eyes had taken on the lost gaze. She moved with him as he walked her away from the table, her steps faltering and weak. He felt her frame shiver against him as the trembling began again, each time leaving her weaker than the last.
Cornelia and Clodia were left alone with the child, who pawed at Cornelia’s dress to find a nipple.
‘He is a good man,’ Clodia said, looking at the doorway they’d gone through.
‘A shame he is too old to make a husband,’ Cornelia replied artlessly.
Clodia firmed her jaw.
‘Old? He is still strong where it matters,’ she said, her voice sharp. Then she saw Cornelia’s bright eyes and blushed. ‘You see too much, my girl. Let the child feed.’
‘She is always hungry,’ Cornelia said, wincing as she allowed Julia to attach herself, pressing her little face deep into the breast.
‘It helps you to love them,’ Clodia said and when Cornelia looked up at her tone, Clodia’s eyes were lined with tears.
In the cool dimness of the bedchamber, Tubruk held Aurelia tightly until the fit had finally passed from her. Her skin burned against him and he shook his head at her thinness. Finally, she knew him again and he lowered her back against soft cushions.
He had held her first on the night of her husband’s funeral and it had become a ritual between them. He knew she took comfort from his strength and there were fewer bruises on her these days, with her thrashing limbs gripped tight in his arms. He found he was breathing heavily and wondered afresh how it was possible that she could have so much strength in such a wasted body.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered, her eyes half open.
‘It was nothing. I will bring you a cool drink and leave you to rest.’
‘I don’t want you to leave me, Tubruk,’ she said.
‘Didn’t I say I’d care for you? I will be here for as long as you need me,’ he said, trying to force cheerfulness into his tone.
She opened her eyes fully and turned her head to him.
‘Julius said he would stay with me, but he left. Now my son has gone as well.’
‘Sometimes the gods make a mockery of our promises, love, though your husband was a decent man. Your son will come back safe as well, if I know him at all.’
She closed her eyes again and Tubruk waited until natural sleep came before stealing out of the room.
As storms smashed the coast, the moored trireme pitched and rolled heavily despite the shelter of the tiny African bay, far from Roman lands. Several of the officers were retching, though there was no food to come up. Those who had water in their bellies from their meagre ration struggled not to lose a drop, with their hands pressed tightly over their mouths. There was never enough and in the heavy heat their bodies craved moisture of any kind. Most of them cupped their hands as they urinated, gulping the warm liquid back as fast as they could before it was lost.
Julius remained unaffected by the rocking ship and took considerable pleasure from Suetonius’ discomfort as he lay with his eyes shut, moaning softly with his hands on his stomach.
Despite the seasickness, there was a new mood of optimism in the tiny cell. The captain had sent a man to tell them the ransoms had all been paid, travelling by land and sea to a secret meeting spot where an agent for the pirates had completed the last leg of the long trip and brought the gold to this distant port. Julius had felt it was a small victory that the captain had not come down himself. They had not seen him for months since the day he had tried to torment them and that pleased them all. Had he come, he might have been surprised at what he saw. They had come through the lowest point of the captivity and were growing stronger.
The desperate group of the first few months now waited patiently for their release. The fever had claimed two more, lessening the stifling crush a little. The new will to survive came partly from Cabera after that, for he had finally managed to bargain for better rations for them. It had been a dangerous gamble, but the old man saw that little more than half of them would make it to freedom unless they were better fed and cleaned, so he had sat on deck and refused to heal another pirate until they gave him something in return. The captain had been suffering at that time from a virulent rash he had picked up in the port and hardly blustered at all before allowing it. With the food came hope and the men had started to believe they might see Rome and liberty again. Swollen, bleeding gums had begun to heal and Cabera had been allowed to give them a cup of white ship’s tallow to rub on their sores.
Julius too had played his part. When his splint was removed, he was horrified to see the way his muscles had vanished and immediately set about the exercises Cabera had suggested. It had been agony in the cramped space, but Julius organised the officers into two groups of four and five. One would huddle together as close as possible for an hour and let the others have the space to wrestle and lift their comrades as dead weights, building back the muscles they had all lost before changing over and letting the other group work and sweat. The slop bucket had been knocked over too many times to count, but the men grew stronger and no more succumbed to fevers.
The headaches came less often now, though the worst would leave him almost unable to speak with the pain. The others had learned to leave him alone when he went pale and closed his eyes. The last fit had been two months before and Cabera said that might well be the end of them. He prayed that was true. The memories of his mother’s illness had given him a terrible fear of the weakness that threw him down and forced his mind into the dark.
With the news that the ship was ready to set sail and head for a lonely piece of coast to set them down, the officers of Accipiter were jubilant and Pelitas had even slapped Suetonius on the back in excitement. They were still bearded and wild-looking, but now they chattered with fantasies of bath-houses and being rubbed down with oil.
It was strange how things changed. Where once Julius dreamed of being a general like Marius, now he thought of being clean as a greater pleasure. It had not changed his desire to destroy the pirates, however. Some of the others talked of returning to the city, but he knew he could not while his family’s money floated around in the hold of a pirate ship. His anger had pushed him to stand the sickness and pain that came from the hard exercise and he had forced himself to do more and more each day, knowing he had to be strong if his word to the captain was not to be spit in the wind.
The motion of the trireme changed slowly and the Romans gave a low cheer as the rolling steadied and they could hear the beat for the rowers as the ship moved into open sea.
‘We’re going home,’ Prax said, wonderingly, with a catch
