us,” he said. “You're more than welcome.”
“Maggie,” Ruth said, her voice harsher than she meant it to be. “You get away from there.”
“Mom,” said Maggie.
“Ruth,” said John Roper. “Calm down.”
Tim Mason looked at Maggie.
“She needs to hear this,” he said. “So do you.”
“You don't know me,” Ruth told him. “Don't tell me what I need.”
“You're no different from anyone else,” he replied. “We all need the same thing.”
Ruth was startled by the surge of anger that coursed through her body. It was as if everything she'd swallowed over the past six months— the abuse, the insults, the humiliation—had gathered into a fiery ball that was rising up from her belly, into her throat. She grabbed Maggie by the arm, jerked her to her feet, and yanked her out of the circle. “It's okay, Mom,” Maggie whispered. “It's really okay.” The softness of her daughter's voice threw her for a second, and she wondered if she'd done the right thing. But she had, she knew she had. She took a deep breath and pointed her finger at the coach.
“I'll tell you what I need,” she said. “I need you to stay away from my kid.”
ABBY WAS QUIET IN THE CAR ON SUNDAY MORNING, AND AS USUAL, Tim wasn't sure what to make of her silence. Was she sad about leaving him for another week, or relieved to be getting back to her normal life, the big fancy house she shared with her mother, stepfather, and little brother? Or was she just lost in her own head, worrying about homework, some intrigue with her school friends that didn't concern him at all? “You okay?”
“Yeah,” she said, a little too quickly “Why?” “I don't know You just seem a little subdued or something.” She insisted she was fine, leaving him to wonder if the sadness was all on his side, if he was simply fishing for a sign that she wanted to stay with him a little longer. He couldn't help feeling a pang of nostalgia for the child she used to be, the little girl whose moods were as obvious as the weather. In the past year, she'd gone all poker-faced on him, turning every interaction into a guessing game. It didn't help that Tim could never quite decide whether this awkwardness was just the normal weirdness of adolescence setting in or something more specific to the two of them.
“Oooh, look,” she said, whipping her head around to follow the path of a sports car that blew past on Pembroke Boulevard. “That's an Audi TT. Those things are awesome.”
Tim didn't reply. Since she'd started going to private school, Abby had developed what he thought was a dishearteningly well-informed enthusiasm for the finer things in life—plasma-screen TVs, Rolexes, designer handbags, iPods, cars that cost more than he made in a year— and he tried, without getting all self-righteous about it, to let her know that he wasn't as impressed as she was, though she didn't seem to care much about his opinion one way or the other.
“Maybe one of these days you can come to Sunday meeting with me,” he ventured. “You know, just give it a try. See what you think.”
“You'll have to talk to Mom.”
They both knew what that meant. The custody agreement gave his ex-wife exclusive control over their daughter's educational and spiritual upbringing, and Allison categorically refused to let Abby set foot in the Tabernacle, which she referred to as “that Nuthouse.” Tim understood all too well where she was coming from, and if he'd been coming from the same place, he would've felt exactly the same way. But that place just happened to be a swamp of vanity and self-delusion, and he prayed that Allison would find her way out of it someday, as unlikely as that seemed.
Not that he was losing any sleep over the state of his ex-wife's soul; she was an adult, responsible for her own life, both in this world and the next. But Abby was still a child, and Tim felt like a coward and a bad father, letting some family court judge stand between his daughter and God. It was crazy: he was allowed to be Abby's soccer coach, but was barred from guiding her in something way more important, the only thing that really mattered.
“So, uh, what are you going to do the rest of the day?”
“Chill out,” she said. “Probably just IM for a while, then go to the mall.”
Tim sighed in a way he instantly regretted, knowing it made him sound like a Goody Two-Shoes, Ned Flanders without the mustache.
“It's the Lord's Day, honey. You shouldn't spend it at the mall.” “We might go to the movies,” she said. “I'm not really sure.” His sense of helplessness—of personal failure—intensified as he turned into Greenwillow Estates, a luxury development full of bloated McMansions, one monstrosity more gaudy and boastful than the next. His disgust at the sheer excess of the houses—what family actually needed six thousand square feet of living space?— was aggravated by a professional grievance. Tim was a mortgage broker, but somehow he never managed to connect with the kinds of clients who bought places like this. He just handled the little guys, people he met through church, mostly—hardworking, two-income families with shaky credit and not much in the way of savings, who could only qualify for high-interest, variable-rate loans that just barely got them inside a rundown ranch or a garrison colonial on a busy street or otherwise marginal neighborhood.
Driving past the vast, oddly immaculate lawns of Country Club Way—it was mid-October, and there was barely a fallen leaf in sight—he fantasized, as he did every week, about pulling a U-turn and heading straight to the Tabernacle. What a pleasure it would be, walking into church with his little girl at his side, the person he loved best in the world, to stand beside her as she listened to God's word, surrounded by the love that filled the humble space, all those joyful voices mingling together in song.
But it wasn't gonna happen. Abby's stepfather was a lawyer, and by all accounts a good one. As polite and friendly as Mitchell always was, Tim had no illusions about the consequences he'd suffer if he violated the custody agreement. Pastor Dennis would have encouraged him to go for it anyway—to stand up for what was right, and trust Jesus to take it from there—but Tim hadn't reached that level of faith yet. There was a special bond between him and Abby—he'd felt it the first time he saw her, just seconds after she'd slipped into the world—and it had survived all sorts of turmoil, those years when he'd disappeared into the wilderness and inflicted all sorts of suffering on the people he loved. He had a lot to make amends for, and couldn't bear the thought of spending a minute less with his daughter than he already did, let alone risking the possibility of being cut off from her altogether.
MITCHELL AND Allison lived in something called a Greek Revival colonial on Running Brook Terrace, a monumental brick house with a portico supported by fluted pillars. Pulling his Saturn into the triple-wide driveway, next to an impossibly lustrous black Lexus SUV, Tim let the engine idle as he turned to his daughter. It was a way of prolonging their time together, as if his custodial rights didn't officially come to an end until he shut off his ignition.
“My little girl,” he said, running his hand over her sleek dark hair, so similar to
