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We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
—T. S. Eliot
That night found me sitting in a room with five thousand other people seeking the answers to life’s biggest questions. Rock music blared from the speakers and a dazzling light show lit up the otherwise dark and cavernous room. There was a palpable energy in the room. Then the speaker emerged. He was handsome, articulate and extremely charismatic. He spoke eloquently and kept the audience’s rapt attention for nearly two hours as he took us on an emotional roller coaster that made us laugh, cry and think about why we lived as we did and how each one of us could make things better. He talked about his childhood growing up without a father. He discussed his brush with cancer and how it helped connect him to the simpler, yet commonly neglected things in life. And he made us laugh at some of his insights, such as “the only thing you can expect in life is the unexpected” and “if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” I also appreciated his humility. He said he was not a guru but simply a student of life and joked that his morning prayer involved the request: “God, please help me to become the person my dog thinks I am.”
“Your wounds must be turned into your wisdom,” he repeated throughout the presentation. “Your stumbling blocks can become your stepping stones if you choose. Do not miss the remarkable opportunity that adversity and even tragedy presents. Your life can be made even better by the things that break your heart.”
By the end of his speech, the speaker had each of his listeners spellbound. There was utter silence as we hung on his every word. He closed his presentation with the following statement: “Most people don’t discover how to live until it’s time to die—and that’s a shame. Most people spend the best years of their lives watching television in a subdivision. Most people die at twenty and are buried at eighty. Please, don’t let that happen to you.”
After receiving a thunderous standing ovation, the speaker left the stage. I just sat there silently as question after question began to surface in my mind. “Why was I feeling so empty in life?” No matter how much money I made or how successful I became, I still didn’t feel any differently. I also wondered whether my chosen career was the one I was supposed to be doing or if there was something else that was destined to be my “life work.” As well, I questioned whether I would find true love in my life and whether soul mates could really exist. It was interesting to me that so many questions began to arise once I took just a little bit of time to be silent and still.
As I dug deeper, more questions surfaced: Did I have choice as to how my life unfolded or was it all predetermined according to some grand master plan? If I did have choice, what was keeping me from taking steps to make things better? Was there truly a better life waiting for me out there or was that just wishful thinking? I also wondered whether everything that had happened between Rachel and me had been orchestrated by some invisible force of nature or whether the way things unfolded for us was nothing more than a reflection of my personal choices: to put my business ahead of my family, to put my needs first, to do whatever I wanted to do instead of being big-hearted, compassionate and caring. I closed my eyes and thought about these important questions. I then did something I had never done before: I began to pray for answers.
After only a few minutes, I heard someone call out my name. I looked around but, oddly, I couldn’t see anyone I recognized. Given the traumatic experience of the night before, I wondered whether I was going crazy. Only twenty-four hours earlier I had experienced white light flooding through my body and received the message “Life is a treasure and you are so much more than you know,” and now I was hearing my name being called out in a near-empty auditorium after an unforgettable motivational seminar. I closed my eyes once more—only to hear my name being called again! I quickly opened my eyes and looked around, but again, I could see no one I knew. This time, though, I saw a strange but unmistakable clue on the chair next to mine: a crisp white envelope, with my name inscribed in elegant red handwriting. It had been sealed. I ripped it open and read the words on the page: “Stop living your life as a lie, Dar. Be true to yourself and your destiny will come knocking. I’ll meet you backstage. Nice shirt, by the way—I like the stripes, very hip.”
What was going on? Evan had told me something important would happen at this motivational rally, but this was bordering on the surreal. My heart started beating quickly, and I wondered if this was a practical joke or if I was perhaps being drawn into a dangerous situation. But something within me had been stirred by the motivational speaker’s presentation, as if he had planted some seeds that were already beginning to germinate. One word quickly came to my mind: trust. I picked up my notes and put them into my Gucci briefcase. I then stood up and, not without reservation, walked to the edge of the stage from which the speaker had delivered his inspirational performance. I made my way to the curtains near the front of the stage and slipped through an opening in the folds of fabric.
Backstage, all was a flurry of activity. The speaker was not in sight, but the audiovisual technicians were hard at work, packing equipment into aluminum boxes. No one seemed to notice me. As I continued walking around the backstage area, a door slowly opened, allowing a bright light to emerge and illuminate the dimly lit area. I felt as if I was being guided towards that door, odd as that may sound. I literally felt pulled in the direction of that door; I moved through it and into a hallway. My heart was beating rapidly and my stomach was knotted with anxiety as I walked down the hall. I felt shaky and uncertain. But I also felt a confidence I had not previously encountered, one that gently suggested to me that somehow things were taken care of.
The hallway led to a red door with nothing but a silver star on it. I guessed that this was the dressing room reserved for the stars who gave performances in this auditorium. I knocked three times on the door. No one answered. I knocked again, with more vigor. Again, there was no response. I waited for a few moments and then decided that maybe I was wasting my time. The note had instructed me to go backstage but no one was here. It all made no sense. I was feeling tired and was in serious need of some sleep. It had been a rough two days and a hot cup of tea might soothe my frazzled nerves.
I was about to turn away when, as if by magic, the door opened. I couldn’t see anyone behind the door but the door continued to open wider. As I stepped into the room, I was stunned by what I saw. Rose petals had been strewn across the floor. A tall figure stood before me wearing a scarlet robe, the kind worn by monks in Nepal. His back was facing me and he stood motionless. The intricate embroidery on the back of his robe caught my eyes. It was beautiful and rich with color. For some reason, I began to relax and let out a sigh. I felt—don’t ask me why—that I was in the presence of a friend.
Slowly and dramatically, the figure turned towards me and looked straight into my eyes. He seemed to touch my soul with his striking gaze. In my entire life, I have never met anyone who exuded such power. He looked youthful, tanned, had a thick head of dark hair and seemed to be in superb physical condition, looking like some Greek god from a bygone era or, perhaps, a movie star from Hollywood. And his eyes! I will never forget those eyes. They were the most piercing and remarkable eyes I have ever seen.
Who was this man? Why was he staring at me? Why wasn’t I afraid? I didn’t know what to do and just stood there, awestruck by the entire experience. The room remained silent and this stranger remained motionless and without expression. Then his mouth curved in a gentle smile and his eyes began to sparkle like a child’s. He spoke in a confident tone.
“Only you can discover your destiny, Dar. Only you can know the path that has been laid out for you, the one your heart is calling you
