a parent asks a child “Did you break the lamp?” and the child answers “No” but nods. This contradictory behavior betrays the truth. I have seen this with kids, teenagers, and even adults.
11. HEAD PATTING, BACK OF HEAD—When we are perplexed or mentally conflicted, we often find ourselves patting the back of our head with one hand, perhaps even stroking our hair downward as we struggle for an answer. This behavior is soothing because of both the tactile sensation and the warmth that is generated. Like most hand-to-body touching, this is a pacifying behavior that reduces stress or anxiety.
12. HEAD SCRATCHING—Head scratching soothes us when we have doubts or feel frustrated, stressed, or concerned. You see it with people trying to remember information or when they are perplexed. This explains why it is often seen by teachers as students ponder a test question. Very rapid head scratching often signals high stress or concern. It can also signal the person is conflicted as to what to do next.
13. HEAD STROKING—Beyond the function of keeping one’s hair in place, people will stroke their hair with the palm of the hand to soothe themselves when stressed or confronted with a dilemma or while pondering how to answer a question. This is not dissimilar to a mother comforting her child by stroking the child’s head. This pacifying behavior can have an immediate calming effect. Once more, this behavior may signal doubt or conflict, especially if done to the back of the head.
14. HEAD SCRATCHING WITH TUMMY RUBBING—The simultaneous rubbing of the belly and the head indicates doubt or wonder. It can also signal insecurity or incredulity. Interestingly, many primates do this as well.
15. INTERLACED FINGERS BEHIND HEAD, ELBOWS UP—The interlacing of the fingers behind the head with the elbows out is called “hooding” because the person looks like a cobra when it hoods—making the person seem bigger. This is a territorial display we do when comfortable and in charge. When we hood, the interlaced fingers behind the head are both comforting and soothing, while the elbows out project confidence. Hooding is rarely done when someone of higher status is present.
16. REACHING FOR HEAD (STUPEFIED)—People who are shocked, in disbelief, or stupefied might suddenly reach for their head with both hands so that the hands are near the ears but not touching them, with the elbows out toward the front. They might hold this position for several seconds as they try to make sense of what happened. This primitive, self-protective response might follow when someone has made a major faux pas, such as a driver crashing into his own mailbox, or a player running toward the wrong goal line.
17. INTERLACING FINGERS ON TOP OF HEAD—Usually performed with the palms down, this behavior stands out because it is intended to cover the head and yet the elbows are usually out and wide. We see this when people are overwhelmed, at an impasse, or struggling, when there has been a calamity (after hurricanes or tornados by those who lost property), or when things are not going their way. Note the position of the elbows: as things get worse, they tend to draw closer together in front of the face almost unnaturally, as if in a vise. Also note the pressure: the worse the situation, the greater the downward pressure of the hands. This behavior is quite different from “hooding” (see #15), where the palms are placed on the back of the head and the person is quite confident.
18. HAT LIFTING (VENTILATING)—Under sudden stress, people may suddenly lift up their hat to ventilate their head. This often occurs when receiving bad news, during an argument, or after a heated moment. From a safety perspective, be aware that in situations of high anger (e.g., traffic accidents or road-rage incidents), disrobing (removing hats, shirts, sunglasses) often precedes a fight.
From the time we are babies, we begin to scan the forehead for information. Even at just a few months of age, infants will respond to the furrows on their mother’s forehead—perceiving it as something negative. This small space between the bridge of the nose and the hairline reveals to others, in real time, how we are feeling. It is a remarkable part of the body closely connected to the brain, which allows us to communicate sentiments quickly, accurately, and prominently.
19. FOREHEAD TENSION—On some individuals, stress manifests as sudden tension of the forehead, a result of the stiffening and tensing of underlying muscles. The face has more than twenty distinct muscle groups that can create more than four thousand distinct expressions, according to Dr. Paul Ekman. Six muscles in particular, including the large occipitofrontalis, the procerus, and the temporalis, account for the tightening or furrowing of the forehead when we are stressed. Obviously, one has to see people in a calm environment to get a baseline read on their forehead, but when people are stressed, tension of the forehead is frequently very noticeable and is an excellent indicator that something is wrong.
20. FOREHEAD FURROWING—Furrowing of the forehead in response to a stimulus is usually a good indicator that something is amiss, there are issues, or a person is insecure. It is also seen when people are concentrating or trying to make sense of something. Furrowing of the forehead is usually associated with doubt, tension, anxiety, or concern. Keep in mind that Botox, which many use for cosmetic purposes to obscure stress lines on the forehead, might mask true sentiments.
21. BOTOXED FOREHEAD (ISSUES)—Both men and women are now taking advantage of Botox injections to erase stress lines on their foreheads. This has created problems for couples and even for children who would normally look to the forehead for information as to how a person might feel. Babies as young as four weeks old will respond to a furrowed forehead as something negative. Interestingly, both children and adults have reported an inability to read their parents or their spouses who have used Botox for emotional cues as easily as they could before.
22. STRESS LINES—On some individuals, their life struggles are marked by deep grooves on their forehead, even at a young age. Life experiences often etch our foreheads with lines, furrows, and other indentations. The forehead can reflect a difficult or stressful life or a life that has been spent outdoors in the sun, which tends to make forehead markings more prevalent.
23. FOREHEAD SWEATING—If the degree of stress is high enough, some people begin to spontaneously sweat. Sweating is very individual. Some sweat profusely with their first sip of coffee, or climbing a flight of stairs, so make sure to get a baseline of this behavior before jumping to any conclusion. Baseline behaviors are those behaviors we equate with “normal,” when a person is not stressed or overly affected by emotions.
24. TEMPLE VEIN THROBBING—When a person is under stress, the superficial temporal veins (those nearest the skin on the sides of our heads and just behind the eyes) might pulse or throb visibly. It is a very accurate indicator of autonomic arousal due to anxiety, concern, fear, anger, or, occasionally, excitement. Autonomic arousal is the brain’s way of automatically going into survival mode—compelling the heart and the lungs to work faster in anticipation of physical activity such as running or fighting.
25. FOREHEAD MASSAGING—We tend to massage our foreheads when we have headaches (literally), when we are processing information, or when we have worries, concerns, doubts, or anxiety. It is a pacifying behavior, which helps to soothe tension or apprehension.
26. POINTING AT FOREHEAD—Pointing a finger at the forehead or making a screwing motion with the finger while pointing at the forehead is very insulting—it means that the observer
