try to cajole, but her father would never change his mind; he had never done a single thing out of kindness.
Eleanor lowered in another curtsy. “As you say, Papa.”
“As I say indeed, Eleanor. It will be so. You will marry Argyle. I shall write to him today.” You may write, Papa, but I shall never marry him.
“Kneel at your bed, child.” She turned and did so, she’d never disobeyed him and even now her heartbeat thundered at the thought of doing so in a few hours. Where would she find the courage? From Paul. Her father would be so angry.
As Ellen lifted her skirt and knelt, her father turned to the door and called to a footman. “Bring the bible from the chapel, my daughter needs time to search her soul.”
No she did not. She had found what her soul looked for. She’d found Paul.
~
“Ellen?” A quiet knock struck her bedchamber door.
“Penny?” Ellen stood. It was dusk, her family had probably just eaten dinner, and their father would be sitting alone at the table drinking his port.
The handle of her door turned but it would not open. Papa had the key.
“Mama said I must not speak to you, Papa has forbidden it, so of course she will not come, yet I had to know you are well. Are you hungry? Do you wish me to send you something to eat? Has he beaten you?”
Ellen rose from her kneeling position; she should not move, and yet she could not shout across the room in case someone heard and told tales on them. Then Penny would be in trouble too.
Ellen pressed her fingers against the door, leaning to whisper through it. “I know, and I know Mama cannot defend me, she must obey Papa. I do not want him to be angry with her or you. You should go, Penny…”
“Why?”
“Paul made an offer. Papa refused it. He is angry because I encouraged Paul. Do not become caught up in this or Papa will confine you to your room too.”
“Paul? Captain Harding? Oh Ellen. I like him.”
Resting her forehead against the wood, Ellen smiled. “As do I, but Papa does not. He wishes me to accept the Duke of Argyle.”
“Ellen… I shall come through the servants’ way and speak with you. You cannot marry that old man. He is awful.”
“No. Papa would be furious. Do not take the risk. I can manage, I am merely a little cold and hungry,” and I will be gone soon…
“But you will not agree to marry that old man. I saw him in the summer and–”
“Of course not.” An urge to share the truth and speak of her elopement shot through Ellen’s heart, another arrow of love passing through it, but it would be wrong to involve Penny. Penny was fifteen, she would not be able to hide her knowledge if their father questioned her, and Ellen would not have Penny hurt.
“I miss you. Rebecca and Sylvia do nothing but play silly games. Life is so dull without you.”
Penny’s words tugged as if a cord was tethered to the arrow through Ellen’s heart, and Penny pulled it.
But Ellen could not stay. She wanted to be with Paul.
Her hands trembled as her palms pressed against the wood and she leant closer, feeling the presence of her sister on the other side in every fibre of her body …
This life, this house, was all Ellen had known. She’d never travelled beyond the local towns.
Paul had travelled the world. He’d told her what life as an army officer’s wife would be. Hard. She was not to expect luxury. But she would be loved and cared for and adored by him. She longed for it. Her heart ached for it. But voices in her head whispered, be afraid …
“You will manage without me Penny.”
“I know I shall. It will only be for a few days Papa cannot keep you locked away forever.”
“Yes, only for a few days…” Years. A desire to speak the truth to Penny fought to break the words from Ellen’s lips. But if her father discovered Penny had been told he’d hurt her. “You’d better go. I’d never forgive myself if you’re caught.”
“As soon as Papa allows you to come out, find me and tell me everything. Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Good-bye.”
“Good-bye.” Tears flooded Ellen’s eyes as she heard her sister go.
Leaving Penny behind without explanation, would cause Penny pain, but it tore at Ellen’s heart too.
~
The room had become bitterly cold. Her father had forbidden anyone to tend the fire. It had burned out hours ago. Ellen’s knees ached from kneeling, yet still she’d not risen, even though no one watched her. Her father’s will had been forced upon her for so many years it was her instinct to obey. Yet she’d break that tether at midnight.
She read through the Ten Commandments for the thousandth time. “Thou shalt honour thy father and mother.”
Was she about to sin then, because she was going to run away and betray them? Her mother would be heartbroken – she knew how to love. She was even loyal to Ellen’s father, respecting their marriage vows despite his coldness towards them all.
Ellen could not do the same. She could not stay here. She wanted a life with Paul – even if it was sinful and selfish.
It had been dark for hours, and every time the clock in the hall struck she’d counted the chimes. It was past ten.
Pippa had brought her some bread and cheese at eight, wrapped in a cloth, but Ellen had sent her away with a need to obey her father, at least in that. It was a penance for the moment she would break free and shatter any feelings he had.
Excitement and anxiety warred with guilt and sorrow; sadness weighing down her soul. She did not want to leave her sisters and her mother.
But the sadness was out balanced by the gladness and expectation which hovered in her other half. She was going to Paul. Running towards love. Yet what else? All she knew was his love bore more weight than her mother’s or her sisters’. It owned her heart and made it pulse – not simply made it feel tender.
The clock began to strike again, the sound echoing. One, two…
Ellen knew how many times it would chime.
Leaving the bible open, she rose, even now unable to fully disobey and close it.
Her feet were numb and her knees stiff, the payment for what she was about to do.
Everyone in the house retired early to avoid wasting candles. They rose with the sun and retired with it. They would all be in bed.
The chilly air made her shiver, or perhaps it was the overwhelming
