talk I shall be there for you. I am certain Avonlea will not turn you away, but if he did I would open my doors to you.’
Lucinda thanked him shyly. ‘I think I shall go in al—’ She could not finish the sentence for her husband was coming towards them. Her heart caught with pain as she saw the distress in his face and realised that he had been under a great strain. There were dark shadows beneath his eyes and she thought he had lost weight. Had she done that to him? Her heart caught with remorse. She turned to meet him. ‘Avonlea, forgive me…’
‘Lucinda, my dearest. You are safe. Thank God! I thought you lost or dead.’ Avonlea turned to Lord Lanchester. ‘You found her and brought her back to me. How can I ever thank you, my best of friend?’
‘You owe me no thanks, sir. Your duchess visited my sister and I brought her to you. She was a little anxious, but I assured her you would not scold her too much. I believe she has something important to tell you.’
‘Of course I shall not be unkind,’ Justin said and looked at Lucinda. ‘Come inside, my love. You look tired and pale. I would hear what you have to say. Lanchester, you have my thanks. I shall speak to you later.’
‘When it suits you,’ Andrew replied with a slight smile. ‘My heartfelt thanks for your safe return, Duchess. Your friends are glad of it. Please call on Jane whenever you wish.’
‘You are very kind, sir.’
Lucinda could not look at him or her husband. She walked towards the house, Justin at her side. Several servants had gathered in the hall and were looking at her curiously. The housekeeper bobbed a curtsy and asked if she could do anything.
‘You may bring some tea when we ring,’ Justin said. ‘My wife has had a long journey and she is tired. We shall have nuncheon in an hour.’
Lucinda allowed him to make the arrangements. She was thirsty and hungry, and she knew that someone she trusted was caring for her daughter. Angela would be safe until she could return to her.
‘Mama will be gone for a while,’ she’d told Angela and kissed her before she left. ‘I have to find somewhere nice for us to live, but then I shall come and fetch you.’
‘You won’t leave me?’ Angela had clung to her. ‘You won’t let them take me back?’
‘Never,’ Lucinda vowed and held her tight. ‘Mama loves you and she wants to look after you, but she cannot be with you all the time. She has to work and earn money to buy our food.’
Inside the small parlour at the back of the house, Justin shut the door firmly and then turned to look at her. His hands worked at his sides and she thought that she had never seen him display such emotion. Always when he courted her he had been the polite gentleman, teasing, flirting gently, courteous and considerate. If he had a temper, she’d not seen or felt it; even his kiss when she’d at last accepted his offer had been sweet, but passionless—which was perhaps why she had dared to say yes. Avonlea had seemed kind, but capable of expressing only warm affection; this stranger with his tight mouth and tortured eyes was someone she did not recognise.
‘What was so terrible that you could not tell me, Lucinda? I took a vow to become your husband. Whatever trouble you were in I would have helped you.’
‘Yes, I know,’ she said and gave him a little smile. ‘Afterwards, I wished I’d had the courage to tell you. I panicked, Justin. Please let me explain if I may. When I returned to my rooms after the church I discovered a letter. It was a blackmail letter and the sender demanded ten thousand pounds. He—or perhaps she—threatened to expose my secret and shame your good name. I ran away rather than allow it to happen. My first thought was for you—because I had wronged you.’
‘A blackmail letter here in your room?’ Justin looked shocked. ‘I have considered all manner of reasons why you should leave, but I must admit that was not high on my list. May I enquire as to the reason for the blackmail?’
Lucinda drew a shuddering breath. ‘I fear you will be angry and hate me.’
‘I could never hate you.’
He had not denied that he might be angry, but she must find the courage to continue. Her words came out in a rush, tumbling over each other.
‘It…happened one Christmas Eve. I was home from school and my father had friends staying. I was asleep when Father’s friend fell on me and, though I woke instantly, I could not fight him off. He had been drinking and the stench of his breath sickened me. I tried to scream, but he covered my mouth with his hand. Beneath his weight I was helpless. He was my father’s best friend, but he…he raped me and then told me that he would ruin Papa if I told anyone what he’d done.’
‘Raped you? My God!’ Justin looked as if someone had punched him hard. He recoiled and seemed stunned, turning away from her and then sitting down heavily in one of the comfortable wing chairs placed in pairs about the salon. ‘Forgive me, this is a shock. It must have been a terrible experience for you, Lucinda.’
Lucinda went to him and knelt on the floor by his side. ‘I think even that was not the worst of it, Justin. I was distressed, but could tell no one—and then, at Easter, my mother discovered that I was with child.’
Justin looked down into her face, concern in his eyes. The thought of her suffering wrenched at his heart. She was so innocent and sweet—how could any man treat her so vilely? Anger raged through him, but for the monster that had violated her. He did not doubt her word for an instant. He reached down and touched her cheek as she gazed earnestly up at him.
‘Your father covered the scandal, of course. Most fathers would do the same. What happened next?’
‘I was sent to live with Grandmama. She was very unkind to me and caned my hands whenever it pleased her. When my child was born I was told it had died…but still my father would not allow me to go home or to enter society. Only after his death was I allowed the visit to Harrogate with my aunt.’
‘Was that why you kept your distance from me at first?’
‘My father told me I was dirty, a thing of shame, and that no decent man would want me. Both he and my mother said I should never marry. I defied her to wed you—and I meant to tell you the truth that night and beg you to forgive me, but then the note arrived and—’
‘You were frightened and ran away.’
Justin stood up. He reached down, drawing her to her feet so that they looked into each other’s eyes.
‘Do you have the letter?’
Lucinda hesitated. She hated to lie to him, but if she told him the whole truth he would want to know if she had found her daughter and he would force her to give her up, because to do anything else would cause a scandal.
‘No…I am sorry, Justin. I destroyed it. I should never have married you. I know you must hate me now. I shall go away and you may have the marriage annulled. All I ask is a small sum of money so that I may live quietly until I can find some respectable work.’
She would not have asked so much if it were not for her child. Until she could find a home of her own and a nursemaid to live in, Lucinda must pay for lodgings and the care of her daughter. Surely he would allow her something?
For a moment he studied her in silence, then, ‘No, I shall not have the marriage annulled,’ Justin said,
