cool pool, huh?”
He shrugged as if it were nothing. “How about work? Your mother says you’re acting. Community theater? A play you wrote?”
Oh, for God’s sake. She’d written the skits for most of the costume characters they took out to kiddie parties, but that was hardly theater. “Meredith tends to embellish,” she said. “Actually, I’m between jobs right now.”
She just couldn’t bring herself to explain that she’d turned over her clown suit, Barney costume and Power-puff Girl tights the day she’d left, and told the temp agency to put a hold on her job application until she settled this family situation. “Enough about me,” she said, uncomfortable with the way his blue eyes seemed to dig down inside her. “Let’s talk about you.”
Nathan gave a weary smile. “That’s why you’re here, right? Guess we might as well get to it.”
Very cool, Nathan congratulated himself. He couldn’t believe how relaxed he’d sounded, considering the fact that the woman who’d flitted through his dreams for the past eight years had suddenly lighted on his sofa. He wanted to move very slowly so she wouldn’t zip away. That was stupid, though. Mariah had come here with her own agenda, not to restart their abandoned relationship.
She was prettier than the photo her father’d let him have. The camera deadened her electric blue-green eyes, doused the life in her face, dulled the gleam in her golden brown curls. She’d done something to the ends—bleached them blond. An interesting effect that made her look exotic. Though he’d left plenty of distance between them on the sofa, Mariah’s intensity seemed to fill the room all the way to the predictably high ceiling.
He thought about the last time he’d seen her, zooming down the highway, in a sea of white satin laughing her way away from him with Nikki, her partner in crime. He often wondered how things would have turned out if he’d gone with his first impulse and grabbed a car, chased her down and dragged her back. But those were just late-night thoughts with one too many scotches in his bloodstream. They were past all that now. It was about time he realized it and moved on.
“So, I hear you’re blowin’ town,” Mariah said. “What’s the deal?”
The deal was that he’d finally figured out why no relationship seemed to work, why he could be surrounded by people, busy with work he enjoyed, and still feel dead bored and lonely as hell. He’d been holding a torch for Mariah since she drove away from him eight years ago. He was a complete idiot. “I just think my life should be more…”
“Meaningful?”
“Exactly.”
“As my mother says, what’s more meaningful than candy?”
He laughed. “Your mother’s something else.”
“I know. And, Nathan…” She looked down, then up at him. “I really appreciate all you’ve done for my parents—looking out for them, working with my dad these past years.”
Mariah’s words made Nathan realize how much more mature she’d become. She’d seemed so scared and uncertain at seventeen, he’d wanted to protect her from everything. Now, besides being more beautiful, she’d become more confident, more sure of her place in the world.
“It’s been a pleasure,” he said, pushing away his observations. “They’re great people. Like family. But I think it’s time for me to move on.”
His words seemed to worry her. For a second, he had the insane hope she didn’t want to lose him. “What are you thinking of doing?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. I signed up for a conference to explore my options. It’s a retreat for business people tired of business.”
She was trying not to laugh, he could see. Her face had always revealed every feeling. “A retreat for businessmen? Isn’t that an oxymoron—like jumbo shrimp or military intelligence?”
“Not at all.” He’d explain it in its best light. “They have career counselors there. Motivational speakers. Aptitude tests, résumé analysis and, I don’t know, discussions. Speakers who’ve broken off and done different work. It’s a place to start.”
“Mom thinks you’re just having an early midlife crisis.”
He barely managed a smile. “She may be right. I just know I can’t stay here.”
“My parents are completely freaked about you leaving.”
“We’ve got good staff. The floor manager, Dave Woods, could probably take over. He’s not as passionate about the product as your dad, but he’d do fine. As far as that goes, we could hire a headhunter to find someone your dad likes.”
“That would take a while, wouldn’t it? Maybe you just need a breather. A vacation or something?”
“A vacation won’t do it. I’ve decided.”
“What does your girlfriend think about you leaving?”
His eyes shot to her. “How did you know…?”
“How else? Meredith, who knows all and tells all.”
He smiled. “She doesn’t know all, I guess, since Beth and I broke up a couple of weeks ago.”
So that was why he was leaving. “I’m sorry, Nathan, but you might be able to work this out. Sometimes things seem bad—”
“Beth’s not the reason I’m leaving.” Except that his very lack of feeling for her had proved he had to get away. “I just need to go,” he said firmly.
“You’ve got your house up for sale.” Mariah worried her lip.
“Yeah. I figure I’ll find a place in southern California when I’m out there for the conference.”
“You’re moving to California without a job? With housing prices the way they are? That’s not very sensible.”
He shrugged. “I’ll play it by ear.”
“This doesn’t sound like you. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” She pretended to check his forehead for a fever.
He braced himself against the sweet brush of her fingers and managed a smile. It was out of character, but if he didn’t break out, do something different, he’d never stop clinging to the impossible.
“The kind of life you’re thinking about is not as romantic as it sounds. It’s uncertain and kind of scary.” She slid closer to him on the couch. “Believe me. I’m living it.”
Her lips were so red, so inviting…. After that first kiss eight years ago at the dry creek make-out spot, he’d have done anything for more of that mouth.
“Definitely not you,” she concluded, shaking her head.
“That’s the point. I’ve had enough of being me.” He wasn’t about to explain that she was the reason he needed to escape. “And how is it you know what’s me anyway? We haven’t seen each other for eight years, when you ran away from me.” He gulped. He hadn’t meant to go there.
“I
