sorry, Merideth. I know we should have, but—well, right after Sissy’s accident, you had your accident and we didn’t think you needed to be burdened with any more bad news.”
Merideth folded her arms beneath her breasts. “So you’re making my decisions for me now, are you? And I suppose you both were in on this little scheme with John Lee, too, weren’t you, thinking I’d go along with his idea? Well, you were wrong!” she cried, flattening her hands on her father’s desk as she leaned across it to glare at them. “I won’t do it I can’t.”
“Whoa, wait a minute,” Sam said, rising from the sofa. “What scheme?”
Narrowing her eyes suspiciously, Merideth shifted her gaze from Sam’s to Mandy’s and back again, looking for signs of guilt, for the lie she was sure that her sisters were trying to brazen out But she saw nothing there but confusion. “He didn’t tell you?”
Sam tossed her hands in the air in frustration. “Tell us, what, for heaven’s sake?”
“That he wants me to move in with him and take care of Sissy’s baby.”
Mandy’s eyes widened and she leapt from the sofa. “What! Oh, Merideth, surely you know that we’d never ask you to do something like that. That would be cruel. Your own loss is still much too fresh.”
Merideth folded her arms beneath her breasts again and turned her back on her sisters to stare out the darkened window. “Yes, it is,” she said, feeling tears rising. “But obviously John Lee doesn’t think so.”
The days faded one into the other until a week had passed since Merideth’s conversation with John Lee. During that week, she had paced her room, walked the pastures of the Double-Cross, driven for miles on end, all the while cursing John Lee Carter.
Why had he done this to her? Didn’t he realize how painful it was for her to see someone else’s baby when her heart was still raw from the loss of her own?
And that baby. That precious little angel. As hard as she tried, Merideth couldn’t shake her image...or the desperation in John Lee’s voice when he’d said he needed help with the child.
She tried hard not to feel sorry for him, to hold on to her anger with him, but it was obvious that he was in way over his head. What did a bachelor, especially a playboy like John Lee, know about caring for a baby?
The poor little thing, left without a mother to love and care for her. Merideth tried to blot the infant from her mind, but she couldn’t sleep at night for worrying about her, wondering if she was okay, if John Lee had found someone to care for her, if she was receiving the proper care.
After a week of sleepless nights and haunted days, she finally decided she wouldn’t rest until she saw the child again and satisfied herself that the baby was receiving the attention and care she needed. She owed Sissy that.
She planned her visit mid-morning in hopes of avoiding John Lee, sure that he would be out on the ranch with his wranglers at that time of day.
Parking in front of the long, ranch-style house, she crossed to the porch and rang the bell. From the other side of the door, she could hear the drone of a television set... and the plaintive cry of the baby. She waited, her nerves winding tighter and tighter with each passing moment, with each new heartbreaking sob.
She punched the bell a second time. Then, unable to stand the sound of the baby’s crying, tried the door and found it open. She stepped inside. “Mrs. Baker? John Lee?”
She listened but heard nothing but the baby’s persistent cry. Had something happened to the housekeeper? Was the baby alone and in pain? With panic gripping her chest, Merideth ran down the hall, following the crying sounds to the den.
There she found a playpen in the center of the room and inside it Cassie stood on wobbly legs, her fingers knotted in the playpen’s mesh sides. She stood just as she had the last time Merideth had seen her. Dressed in nothing but a fruit-stained T-shirt and a sagging diaper, she turned her face toward Merideth. Alligator-sized tears ran down her face.
Merideth glanced frantically around, looking for some sign of John Lee or Mrs. Baker, hoping they would hear the baby’s cries and would come and see to her needs. But no one came. There wasn’t a sound in the house other than that of canned laughter from a television set in another room. Merideth swallowed the fear that rose as she turned her gaze back to Cassie.
Tears burned her throat. She’d made a mistake, she told herself. She shouldn’t have come. She couldn’t bear this.
She started to turn away, to leave before anyone saw her, but just as she did, the baby swayed, losing her balance, then sat down hard on the floor of the playpen. Her frustrated wails grew louder.
Instinctively, Merideth took a step toward her, her hands outstretched, reaching for her...then she stopped, curling her hands into fists against her lips. She couldn’t pick her up. She couldn’t touch her. She just couldn’t.
As if Cassie sensed Merideth’s inability to rescue her, she flopped over on her tummy and buried her face in the blanket beneath her, sobbing miserably.
Swallowing hard, Merideth quickly closed the distance between them and stooped to pick her up. Cassie grabbed at Merideth’s hair, tangling the fingers of one hand there, while she fisted her other hand in Merideth’s blouse. Straightening, Merideth held her out in front of her.
Emotion rose in her throat as she met the infant’s gaze. “Shhh,” she whispered, blinded by her own tears. “Please don’t cry.” But Cassie only wailed louder. With her heart threatening to split wide open, Merideth drew a deep breath and slowly drew her to her breasts. The frantic beat of the baby’s heart throbbed against her own.
She closed her eyes, trying to remain unaffected, but the baby’s warmth seeped through her blouse and slowly wound itself around her heart. Merideth couldn’t hold back the tide of grief that rose inside her.
Cupping the back of the baby’s head, she tucked it beneath her chin and pressed her lips to the cap of silky hair there. Inhaling deeply, she filled her senses with scents of baby powder, milk and innocence.
“There, there,” she soothed as she instinctively began to sway. “No need to cry. Merideth’s got you.”
A hiccupy sigh reverberated against Merideth’s chest, then Cassie leaned back and looked up at her. Tears swam in eyes as blue as John Lee’s. She peered up at Merideth innocently, yet with a look of such expectancy and hopefulness, that Merideth felt as if the child had reached in and touched her heart.
Tears blurred her vision as she tried to focus on the baby’s sweet face. How could she have ever been so heartless, she asked herself, so selfish as to run from this precious child?
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” she murmured sympathetically as she swiped tears from her own eyes. “Are you wet? Do you need your diaper changed?” In answer, Cassie’s lower lip began to quiver. Merideth tested the diaper. “You are wet,” she confirmed. “And I’ll bet you’re hungry, too.” She glanced around. “Where is Mrs. Baker?” she asked, beginning to frown. “She should be taking care of you.”
“C, you fool. Ask for a C!”
Merideth turned toward the sound and anger slowly rose to warm her cheeks. “The irresponsible twit,” she
