scene last night. They couldn’t seem to comprehend her reservations about accepting his volte-face on wanting a child in his life.
They were younger than Nina, and the course of their lives had run with conventional smoothness so far. They had every reason to cling to their romantic illusions, not having run into any serious snags themselves.
Kim, at twenty-three, was a rather plump but pretty blonde who’d married the guy she fell in love with at high school. The only career she wanted was being his wife and the mother of his children. Her husband had a permanent job on the railway, and she felt absolutely secure.
Rhonda, at twenty-five, was more sophisticated, a professional hairdresser who intended to keep working until she and her husband had their house paid off. He was a sales representative of a major food company, and their goals had been meticulously planned—their wedding, the baby, the house, their car traded in for a family station wagon.
Rhonda’s catalogued milestones had driven Nina to reflect that none of her own goals had been achieved. She’d worked her way through design school, dreaming of making a name for herself in the fashion industry. Clinching an apprenticeship with a successful designer had seemed a helpful step, yet it had very quickly punched home to her that she’d never have the capital to launch her own brand name in such a highly competitive field. The closest she’d got to establishing her own business was this partnership with Sally.
As for her love-life, there had been no-one of any deep significance until Jack. She’d been twenty-eight at the time of meeting him, Jack thirty-two, and it truly seemed as though Mr. Right had finally come along. The shock had been totally shattering when he’d revealed how anti babies and children he was. Even if she hadn’t been pregnant, it would have made her think twice about continuing their relationship.
Charlotte stirred, giving one of her little mewing cries. Nina swooped on the bassinette, eager to pick up her beautiful baby daughter and cradle her in her arms. She was so tiny and perfect, like a miracle, and Nina still marvelled at the way she latched instantly onto a nipple and sucked.
Having stacked the pillows on the bed for a comfortable position, Nina settled back against them, unbuttoned her nightie and smilingly watched her daughter home in on what she wanted. A rush of deep maternal love reassured Nina of the decisions she had made, despite the situation with Jack.
Although she had never felt a pressing need to have a baby, it had always seemed to her a natural thing to do somewhere along her lifeline. She would have wanted the choice to have a child and would have felt cheated as a woman to be denied it. Maybe it was some subconscious response to not having been wanted herself, but from the moment Nina had learnt she was pregnant, however unplanned it was, all her protective instincts had been aroused. This baby would be wanted and loved and cherished.
She might have been a failure as a daughter, a failure at making a name for herself with her own fashion label, a failure at picking the right man to love, but she was not going to be a failure as a mother. On that Nina was fiercely resolved.
“If your Jack doesn’t worry about money he must have a great job,” Rhonda remarked, obviously interested in the financial angle. She had a budget worked out for everything.
“He runs his own business,” Nina explained.
“Doing what?” Kim pumped.
Nina sighed and gave in to their natural curiosity. “Mostly French polishing. He restores antiques and makes cabinets and other bits and pieces. He’s very good at it.”
A perfectionist, she thought. Like her with her sewing and dress designs. They both enjoyed making something beautiful. Their mutual understanding of the pleasure and satisfaction in creativity was one of the shared bonds that had made their relationship so good.
She wished she could believe in Jack’s turnaround. Maybe she should risk the hurt of giving him a chance. If he persisted. The roses were a heady reminder of Jack’s sensuality. A convulsive little shiver ran over her skin. She had missed the enthralling intimacy of his lovemaking. Sally had a point there. The nights were very lonely by herself.
“I wish my husband was a handy man,” Rhonda said ruefully. “He can’t even change a tap washer.”
“You can always get in a plumber. You can’t hire a doting and devoted father,” Nina pointed out, reminding herself to be very, very wary of where she was heading with Jack, if indeed she was heading anywhere. There would inevitably be a lot of interrupted nights with Charlotte. Jack’s groaning and grumbling wouldn’t exactly be music to her ears.
“Give him time to feel like a father,” Kim advised. “Does Charlotte favour him in looks?”
“Not particularly.”
She looked at their daughter. Her fair hair probably came from him. Not that Jack was fair now, but he must have been when he was a boy. Nina remembered her mother saying she was born with black hair, so Charlotte didn’t take after her in that respect. In any event, Nina was certain Jack hadn’t examined Charlotte for likenesses. She was just the kid to him.
“Well, whether she looks like him or not, babies have a way of winding themselves around fathers’ hearts,” Rhonda declared, unable to imagine any other outcome. “He wouldn’t want to marry you if he didn’t want her.”
The marriage offer had certainly come as a surprise. Probably a conditioned response to the situation, Nina had reasoned, guilt leading to a burst of doing the right thing by her. Given time, Jack would undoubtedly rue the impulsive idea.
“It won’t last,” Nina said, casting a quelling look at Jack’s well-meaning supporters and determinedly dampening the little hope that kept squiggling through her.
Rhonda couldn’t resist a last word. “Look at it this way. If he’s got plenty of money, you could always hire a nanny to take the hassle out of looking after the baby.”
A nanny for a kid. Rhonda had hit the nail on the head with that one, Nina thought. It probably would be Jack’s solution to avoiding having anything to do with Charlotte. Well, he could think again if he was planning to separate her from her baby so he could have their twosome back without the hassle of being involved in parenting.
Charlotte hiccupped. Nina hoisted her up and gently rubbed her back to bring up wind. No nanny could feed her baby as she could. Jack had better appreciate her position on mothering—and fathering—if he really wanted to consider marriage. It was a family package deal or nothing, as far as Nina was concerned.
If Jack came today—she glanced at the roses. When he came today, she needed to get a few things straightened out. He’d better come today if he wanted to show good faith. Sally was taking her home tonight. Nina had no intention of waiting around with Charlotte, hanging onto a hope that might not materialise.
Charlotte burped, then started snuffling around Nina’s shoulder for more milk. Nina lowered her onto her other breast and settled back contentedly to let her baby have her fill.
If Jack Gulliver thought he could walk into their lives and take over as he pleased, he was in for a big surprise.
Two hours later he breezed into the ward, radiating goodwill and bearing more gifts. Nina felt her pulse quicken. He had always excited her. She found herself cravenly wishing she’d put on make-up and a sexier nightie than the practical cotton one with the convenient buttons for breastfeeding. Which was absurd in the circumstances.
“I beat
