“Are you all right?”
Startled by the concern in his voice, she opened her eyes and nodded. “Yes,” she said, trying to get a hold on her emotions. He didn’t know Max was his son. If he did he would understand that she wasn’t hiding her life in the witness protection program all these years. She’d been hiding from him.
He studied her, his keen eyes searching for the truth in her expression. “Look, Rose. I came here hoping to start over, too. Hoping that we—”
At his admission her traitorous heart beat a little faster. It upset her all the more. “‘We,’” she gasped. “There is no ‘we.’ Will never be a ‘we.’”
“We” died the day you left me there…alone.
The muscle in his jaw jerked and his gaze darkened. “I see,” he said after a long moment. “Coming here and seeing that you’re okay has been worth it. I would never do anything to jeopardize your happiness.”
There was so much she wanted to say to him. But she wouldn’t. She’d believed she was over being bitter…but she was seeing the truth now. “I hope not. But if you’ll remember, I don’t have much faith in what you say.”
His expression hardened. “I did what I considered was right for you when I got reassigned. I believed it would keep you safe. I’d do it all over again if I felt it was the best choice.”
She surged to her feet, emotions rushing at her like darts. “I trusted you, Zane. Do you even know what that means?” She was mortified at knowing she was about to unravel in front of him. “I can’t do this. I just needed to get things out in the open between us. Stay away from me and my son. Like I said, Max has no idea about my life in the witness protection program. I chose not to tell him because we’ve had more than our share of bad luck and I feel as if I’ve spent my entire life in hiding. I didn’t want him to feel that way. Your coming here can only make things bad again.” She closed her eyes and fought down the fear of what would come if he stayed. It was an impossible situation. “Stay away,” she managed as she headed toward the door.
Zane was beside her in an instant, his hand reaching to open the door for her, surprising her with his apologetic smile…Max’s smile.
“I can’t do that, Rose. I owe it to you to explain. To make you see—”
“I don’t want anything from you. It’s too late for explanations.” There, that was plain enough. Back stiff, she walked out the door. But she knew when she got inside her car and met Zane’s unwavering gaze through the windshield that somehow what she wanted didn’t matter. Never had. Zane would do what he wanted and she would suffer the consequences.
Chapter Four
“You feeling okay, Mom?” Max asked as they got out of the car and started toward the church the next morning.
“I’m fine. Just a little tired, I think,” Rose said, feeling as if she was walking straight into disaster. She should have told Max last night. “I was up late making syrup for the jelly.” And worrying—but she kept that thought to herself as she looked up at her son. Even at his age it was obvious he was going to be tall and lean just like…his dad. All these years she’d tried to pretend she didn’t see Zane every time she looked at Max, but that was impossible. And today, with each step she took toward the small crowd gathered on the church lawn, her world teetered on the edge of falling apart.
What would Max say when he realized that she’d lied to him? The very idea made her sick. Her skin was clammy and her stomach kept lurching as if she were on a raft in high seas. Seeing Zane standing among her friends sent her hand to her stomach in the futile attempt to quell the queasiness. She’d left his office the day before knowing she’d left herself wide open for a public confrontation. She’d like to think that even if Zane realized the truth, he wouldn’t make a scene…but she didn’t really know him. It was stupid on her part, but she really wasn’t thinking straight. How did a woman break such news to her son? She prayed God would help her figure this out. So far no light had appeared at the end of the long, dark tunnel she found herself in.
“Hey, there’s Gil. I’ll check ya later.” Max loped away.
She watched him go and felt a touch of relief knowing the inevitable might have been put off for a few minutes. Why hadn’t she figured out a way to tell him?
“Rose, over here,” Norma Sue hollered, waving her over. Rose paused and engrossed herself in digging a peppermint out of her purse. It was her only excuse for delaying moving toward Zane. Also, peppermint was good for a queasy stomach. Her fingers trembled as she unwrapped the candy and plopped it into her mouth. Sadly, there was no instant calm for her nerves.
Esther Mae and Norma Sue were both waving her forward now, with big rolling waves like traffic cops. She nodded and finally, with nothing else to put it off, she closed her eyes, prayed for guidance—intervention actually—and then willed herself to cross the yard.
You can do this, she coached herself.
She would do this. Could do this.
Deep breath. Another deep breath and steps in between had her moving across the lawn. Choices from the past yielded consequences—the truth exposed was of her own making. She’d lived almost half her life behind a mask of deception and as much as she despised it, she would do it for a bit longer if it meant clinging to her and Max’s make-believe life for a moment more.
She couldn’t help clinging to it for as long as possible, because she was terrified of how their relationship would forever be altered when he realized she’d lied to him.
Zane had been watching her approach, but she’d kept her gaze off him. Meeting his watchful stare would only make her queasiness worse—throwing up on the church lawn was not something she wanted to do. Thank goodness for the peppermint, though she realized she was really expecting a lot from the tiny piece of candy.
“Good morning,” she said, pleased that her voice sounded halfway normal. She continued to avoid Zane’s piercing gaze locked onto her like a missile to a target. Of course he had no idea the potentially explosive nature of their meeting here on the lawn of the quaint country church.
Rose scanned the small crowd. Who would discover her secret first? Who would recognize what they were looking at? The question loomed over her like a monster’s shadow—who would unwittingly expose her?
“How are you feeling today?” Esther Mae asked. She had on a pillbox hat with white and orange daisies and Rose concentrated on the flowers. It was a very subdued hat compared to Esther Mae’s favorite with big purple feathers. Sadly for Rose, the daisies weren’t distracting enough for her needs.
“Feeling?” she asked, trying to focus on why they were asking her how she was feeling.
“Yes, you left the shower so fast yesterday we worried you might have caught a bug or something.”
“Oh, that.” She was breathless and gave Esther Mae what she feared was a pitiful attempt of a smile. “Fine. I’m fine. Really,” she rambled, while her betraying gaze slid to Zane. He might seem at ease to the group, but she saw the keen watchful alertness in his lawman’s eyes and knew he was looking much deeper. Knew he understood she was on pins and needles. He just didn’t know why. She looked from Esther Mae to Norma Sue. “No bug here.” She forced a laugh that came off sounding exactly like the
