he had to say now, she preferred to hear it alone. The Steigermanns had been privy to enough of the Holt scandal.
More buggies and wagons were arriving, and Leah came to take her arm. Caroline had to force herself not to look for Kader Gerhardt among the men who were beginning to congregate on the front steps where Avery had been. Would she think less of Kader if he came—or if he didn’t?
Avery was close now.
“My father won’t let him hurt you,” Leah said quietly, and Caroline drew a long breath.
“Please, Leah. Step away so I can talk to my brother alone.”
“Caroline, he is angry still—”
“Please,” she whispered, and Leah reluctantly went to stand with her father.
Whatever Avery does, don’t let me cry, Caroline prayed.
“You deserved what you got,” Avery said when he was close enough, not caring if the Steigermanns heard him.
“Yes,” she answered quietly. “The way Leah will if you aren’t careful.”
His cheeks flushed and he reached out to grab her by the arm. She drew back instinctively, expecting to be hurt again.
“What did you tell old man Steigermann about me?" Avery said.
“I didn’t have to tell him anything. He saw what kind of man you are.”
“Damn you, Caroline! You’ve ruined everything—”
“Come, Caroline,” John Steigermann said behind her. “We go inside now. Your brother will not want to keep you out here in the cold.” He offered her his arm, and she took it gratefully. She gave Avery one last look as she walked past him. The question was still in his eyes.
Who, Caroline? Who?
“I have seen by the fine attendance this morning that you are all aware of what is about to take place today,” Johann Rial said from the high pulpit. He spoke in English now— for Caroline’s benefit, no doubt—and his eyes swept over the congregation, coming to rest on her. She felt physically ill, and she took a wavering breath. Leah reached for her hand.
Johann waited for a moment for someone’s fit of coughing to subside and for his words to be translated to the older members who spoke only German. “Those of you who are feeling relieved that my sermon has concluded,” he continued, “will be pained to hear that I have more to say. To you all. I now charge each of you to remember the Scriptures.
“Behold I was shapen in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceive me. Against Thee—and Thee only—have I sinned.
“I charge each of you to remember Our Lord’s admonishment— Let him who is without sin among you cast the first stone.
“It is also written that a bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord even unto his tenth generation shall he not enter.
“I further charge you that this child in Christ be not left without salvation. Brother Graeber must follow his own conscience. But I steadfastly hope that someone among you will see fit to make an honorable and Christian offer of Holy—”
Johann Rial abruptly stopped, and Caroline could hear whispering behind her and the shuffling of feet The commotion intensified, a collective murmuring and a creaking of pews as people turned in their seats.
“What is it?” she whispered to Leah, not wanting to look around.
“It’s Eli Graeber,” Leah whispered back. “He’s standing.”
Caroline could already hear him addressing Johann Rial in German, and there was more commotion among the congregation. Leah gave a sharp intake of breath.
“What is he saying, Leah?” she whispered, squeezing Leah’s hand hard. Did Eli know about her and Kader Gerhardt after all? Surely, surely he wouldn’t stand up in church and say that she had been with the German schoolmaster.
“Eli says he is willing to offer you marriage if Frederich withdraws his pledge,” Leah said.
“He what?” Caroline cried, turning around now. Eli was indeed standing—and Frederich had him by the arm.
“Sitzt sich!” Frederich bellowed, trying to make him sit down.
Eli pulled free and began to speak over the clamor around him.
“Eli says he owns half the land, half the farm,” Leah translated rapidly. “He says he has the right to take whoever he pleases—and his uncle is—”
Her translation was interrupted by another outburst from Frederich.
Sit down! Sit down! Caroline prayed, as if her litany could stop whatever Eli was doing by sheer force of will. Oh, dear God, she thought. Everyone will think Eli is the one.
Eli Graeber suddenly looked in her direction, but he was speaking to Johann Rial. Then he was making his way to where she sat, waiting at the end of the pew for Johann to join him.
“Eli wants to know what you say,” Leah said.
“I don’t say anything!” She sat with her head bowed, as if she could hide somehow. Everyone was staring at her— she tried desperately not to cry. She hadn’t expected this. In her worst nightmare she hadn’t expected this.
“Come, Caroline,” Leah said, trying to get her to stand up.
“No-please. No!”
“Caroline, Eli and Johann want to talk to you!” Leah whispered urgently.
“Leah, I can’t—I have to get out of here!”
She would have tried to run, but both John Steigermann and his wife had gotten up so that Eli could come into the pew and Leah was blocking the other way out. She was hopelessly trapped. Eli was actually going to address her here and now, in front of all these people.
“Caroline Holt,” he said.
She forced herself to look up at him, and she was immediately struck by two things. How determined he looked. And how unhappy.
“Eli, what are you trying to do?” she whispered, knowing he wouldn’t understand. Then she abruptly covered her face with her hands. I can’t bear this! I can’t!
“Caroline Holt,” he said again. “Sehen Sie mich an.”
“Eli says to look at him,” Leah translated.
“Bitte,” Eli said. “Don’t be…afraid,” he managed in English.
Caroline turned away from him. Afraid? She wasn’t afraid. She was humiliated.
He held his hand out to her, much the way he had that day he found her on the schoolroom stairs.
“Come. We talk now,” he said. “You come away from all these—” He gestured toward the people around
