snow had stopped falling and as Rachel looked out, she realized that her life was changing remarkably and with shocking swiftness. And yet, a sweet joy thrummed through her heart as she held Jenny in her arms. It wasn’t her baby, but that didn’t matter. Her other jobs as a nanny had been with older children. Closing her eyes for a moment, Rachel savored the sense of utter safety she felt despite the turmoil in her life. Was it due to Cade’s nearness? She thought so. How handsome he was. And then, Rachel wondered if he was married.
Opening her eyes, she glanced at his hands on the wheel. He didn’t wear a wedding ring. A lot of men didn’t so it meant nothing. Wetting her lips, she said, “For some reason, when I first saw you out there tonight, you looked married.”
Cade’s mouth thinned. “I was married,” he said abruptly. Realizing he’d snapped at her, he added more softly, “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
Taking his unexpectedly grim answer in stride, Rachel realized that was a closed topic between them. Yet, as she looked over at him, she saw a terrible grief in the deputy’s eyes. What was that all about? She didn’t dare ask at this point.
“I’m sorry,” she said. Her apology seemed to deflate the tension that had suddenly ballooned between them. Cade was like Fort Knox, Rachel decided: closed up and private.
Cade’s mouth thinned. “I’m the one who should apologize. I was married,” he said, voice strained. “Abby and my baby girl, Susannah, were killed in an auto accident two years ago.”
CHAPTER FOUR
RACHEL WAS TOO STUNNED to assimilate Cade’s awful admission. He had lost his family! To some degree she understood his pain, like a knife in the heart. No wonder Cade looked so anguished.
His mother and father, Ray and Gwen, met them at Cade’s sprawling three-thousand-square-foot single-story log home. It was nearly one in the morning. Rachel felt exhausted and yet super alert as Cade opened the car door and helped her out.
Gwen, a woman in her fifties with curly, short silver-and-black hair, led Rachel into Cade’s home. Her gray eyes were sharp and filled with care. Ray went to the kitchen while Gwen took Rachel and the baby toward the back of the house.
“I don’t know if Cade told you, but he lost his wife and daughter two years ago,” she said. Motioning down the hall to an open door on the right, she added, “This was Susannah’s nursery. Cade just hasn’t had the heart to touch it yet. Little Jenny will claim it now. Come on in, I have everything ready.”
Rachel saw the pale pink nursery with the crib and everything a mother would need to care for her infant daughter. The crib even had a baby quilt inside. Gwen took Jenny from her. The infant was just waking up, her eyes half-open.
“Cade said you were going to be the nanny,” Gwen murmured, gently unwrapping Jenny and placing her beneath the colorful baby quilt. “There.” She straightened and turned to Rachel. “I think you should stay in the guest bedroom. There’s a door between it and the nursery.” She motioned toward the wooden pine door.
“But I was going to stay at the cabin I’d rented.”
With a brusque nod, Gwen turned out the light. A wall light shed enough of a glow into the room so that no one would trip or fall. “Yes, I know. Right now, Cade’s in shock. He’s lost Tom, his best friend. Now, Lily.” She hustled out of the room and left the door partly open. With a gesture, she took Rachel to the next room. “He’s going through a lot and he’s going to need help. My husband and I don’t feel he’s in the right state of mind to be caring for this baby yet. We need your help for now, Rachel, if you’re okay with that?”
Entering the bedroom, Rachel nodded. “Of course. I’m the least affected by all of this, so I’ll focus on Jenny’s care, feeding and bathing.”
“Excellent,” Gwen said, giving her a warm smile. She pointed to the queen-size bed. “This is a nice large room. If I were you, I’d keep the door open to Jenny’s room.”
“Oh,” Rachel assured her, “I will. I’m so wired right now, I can’t sleep, anyway.”
“Hmm, aren’t we all.” Placing her hands on her hips Gwen looked around. “I’ve put towels, wash cloth and soap on your dresser over there. The bathroom is right across the hall. Cade’s master-bedroom suite is on the other side of the nursery with a master bathroom. This will be all yours.”
“A hot bath sounds good,” Rachel said. She loved the wedding-ring-design quilt across her bed. The curtains matched the fabric in the quilt. The entire room, even the floor, was knotty pine. A braided green-and-white area rug completed the rustic look.
“I’m sure it does. Just one more thing and we’ll leave you alone. Jenny needs goat’s milk.”
“Cade told me.”
Nodding, Gwen lifted her hand. “Let me show you where we keep the bottles out in the kitchen. And then we’re going home to get some sleep after this crazy night.”
Rachel liked Gwen’s brusque, efficient manner. In some ways, she reminded her of her own mother, Daisy. Both women were short and lean. Gwen’s hands were reddened and chapped. Farm and ranch work took a lot out of the owners and Rachel knew that from experience. Gwen walked quickly to the kitchen.
Cade looked up. He’d been speaking to his father, Ray, at the counter.
“I’m just showing her where Jenny’s goat’s milk is,” Gwen explained, opening the refrigerator.
Rachel noticed the weather-lined face of Ray Garner. He was as tall as his son, but more wiry. He wore a blue-and-white-plaid long-sleeved shirt, jeans and a pair of well-worn cowboy boots. His gray felt Stetson lay on the round table at the end of the kitchen. Gwen slid her hand around Rachel’s arm and pulled her closer to the fridge.
“We milk our goats twice a day. Cade was keeping a good supply for Lily and would take the bottles to her every morning before he went to work. Lily was very health-conscious and Jenny was thriving on goat’s milk.” She shut the fridge and led Rachel to the cabinets near the kitchen sink. “Lily was very old-fashioned. She insisted on glass milk bottles, not the plastic ones. They’re in here.” She pointed up to them in the cabinet. And then in a lower tone, Gwen added, “Abby, Cade’s wife, believed in glass bottles too, and that’s why we have them.”
Heart aching, Rachel realized that Cade had not removed his lost family from the house. Could she have done if it had happened to her? She didn’t think so. “That’s fortunate,” she told Gwen, taking some of the bottles and placing them on the countertop. “Did Abby put the goat’s milk in the bottle and then set it in a pan of water on the stove to heat?”
Grinning, Gwen patted her shoulder. “You’re very bright. Yes. Neither Abby nor Lily believed in using the microwave. They worried it might change the cellular structure of the goat’s milk. So, this might be old-fashioned, but we know it’s completely safe for the baby.”
Rachel nodded. “I was nanny for a little boy from India, and his mother insisted on glass bottles and no microwave, either.”
“Whew, that’s good. I don’t have to train you up in this, then.”
“No, you don’t.”
Patting Rachel on the back, Gwen said, “Listen, this is
