was avoiding him or to let on that he affected her that much. But after the horrible accusation he had made, she wanted nothing to do with him and she didn’t care if he knew it. His blaming her for their child’s death had caused her guilt to flare up. Of course, it was never far below the surface anyway. In the days since their set-to, that guilt had seeped through the anger and hurt. Always the guilt. But Matt wasn’t innocent in this either.
She didn’t want to think about him any longer. Pausing on Davis Lee’s porch, she waited until her thoughts were focused solely on her patient. Several minutes later, she stood in Josie Holt’s bedroom.
The woman was in bed, as Annalise had instructed and Emma Ross sat in a nearby chair, visiting. Annalise had met the petite blonde at church. “Hello, Emma.”
“Hello.” The young woman rose and squeezed Josie’s hand, saying, “Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will.” Aside from her paleness, Josie looked to be otherwise all right.
As long as she stayed put, the hemorrhaging shouldn’t start up again.
Emma let herself out and Annalise turned back to her patient, pleased to see Josie’s bleeding had long since stopped. “This is a good sign, though you still need to stay in bed.”
The petite seamstress nodded. “If it weren’t for the visitors, I’d be crazy as a Bessie bug. Catherine and Jericho have come more than once as have Russ and Lydia. And Matt’s been here several times.”
Ignoring the sharp pang in her chest at his name, Annalise moved up the side of the bed to take her patient’s pulse. “And I imagine Emma has visited a few times?”
“Yes. I’m so glad she found her way to Whirlwind. She’s been good for Jake.”
“From what I’ve seen, I think so, too. They seem very happy.”
“You’ve known Bram and Jake a long time.”
“All my life.”
“So, you knew Jake’s first wife?”
“Delia, yes.” After her death, Annalise had wondered if Jake would ever move on.
Then last year he had found Emma. Or rather, she had found him. Annalise recalled him telling her that his wife had fled her stepfather’s house with her infant sister and left the child on Jake’s doorstep then hired on as the baby nurse. He was happier than Annalise had ever seen him.
She still hoped Delia’s brother, Quentin, would one day stop blaming Jake for Delia’s death and find happiness, too.
Annalise eased down into the chair next to the bed. “Have you had any pain?”
“Not since that first night.”
“Contractions? Lower backache?”
“Sometimes my back does ache, but I think it’s because of being in bed all the time.”
Annalise gave her a sympathetic smile. “I know it’s difficult, but this is best for you and your baby.”
“I’m happy to do whatever I need to. I didn’t mean to sound as if I was complaining.”
“It’s fine if you do. You’re used to doing a lot. It’s quite a change to be confined to bed.”
Josie’s green eyes followed Annalise as she placed her stethoscope on the woman’s belly, listening carefully for the baby’s heartbeat.
She smiled at her patient. “The heartbeat is strong.”
“Thank goodness.” Relief spread across Josie’s face. “Did you always want to be a doctor?”
“Yes. My father was a doctor here for years and his work always fascinated me.”
“Where did you get your training?”
“Women’s Medical College of Pennsylvania, in Philadelphia.”
The other woman’s eyes lit up. “I’ve never been out of Texas. My home was in Galveston before I came to Whirlwind. Did you like Philadelphia?”
“Yes.” It had given her a place to heal, to try and get over Matt.
“Did you have a special someone up there?”
Annalise thought about Travis Hartford, her dear friend who had wanted to be more, though she hadn’t. “A friend, but we weren’t romantically involved.”
He was also a doctor. She had met him at the hospital where they’d both attended general clinics. Travis was one of the few males there who hadn’t harassed her and the other female medical students.
Annalise packed away her stethoscope. “May I get you anything to drink or eat?”
“No, thank you. Emma brought me some lemonade.” Josie paused, then said tentatively, “Davis Lee told me you and Matt were supposed to get married.”
Annalise stiffened. She wanted to snap at the other woman, but there was no reason to take her irritation out on her. “Yes.”
“But you didn’t. Because you left to go to medical school?”
“That’s right.”
“He didn’t want to wait?”
“He didn’t want me to go,” she said tightly.
“Matt didn’t want you to be a doctor?”
At the disbelief in Josie’s voice, Annalise gave her a small smile. “He thought I would change my mind after we were engaged.”
Josie’s eyes grew big. “Oh.”
Annalise hoped Josie was finished discussing Matt, but she was disappointed.
“Matt says they’re no closer to catching those rustlers.”
“His father said the same.” She liked Josie and they had become friends, but Annalise didn’t want to stir up any more memories of Matt and their past.
After finishing her visit, she promised to check in the next day. She stepped outside, her gaze immediately going to the other end of town and the cemetery at the top of a small rise.
Talking about Matt, remembering Delia, had brought up Annalise’s own dark memories. She thought about her time in Philadelphia after everything with Matt had gone so wrong. She had felt utterly alone, terrified out of her mind. Now, the memories and Matt blaming her for the miscarriage put her on the edge of erupting.
There was no sense in regrets, not now and not about this. His words shouldn’t affect her as much as they had, especially since she had been saying the same thing to herself all these years. But his opinion did matter. She hated that he still had the power to hurt her like this.
Still, it wasn’t his words that had her moving toward Whirlwind’s cemetery. It was her own guilt.
Some
