hideaway.”
He held his hand to his chest. “Cross my heart, I won’t tell another soul.”
She leaned back and stared at the horses, and Nathan did the same.
“Patch must be so old now. He was perfect for my granddad, like they understood exactly what the other was thinking. I’ve never seen anyone else ride him, not ever.” She sighed. “That’s why it hit me so bad, seeing you. He’s been on the farm since I was a little girl.”
Nathan chuckled. “Yeah, which is why he’s perfect for me. He’s content just to take things slow and teach a newbie the ropes.” He paused, watched her, wished he didn’t feel so uncomfortable being so close to her. “We came up here a lot, the two of us, just to ride and chat, talk about anything and everything. It was as good for me as it was for the old man.”
Jessica groaned when she turned to her side, and he waited a second before saying anything more. It was none of his business, but he’d heard so much about her, knew about what had happened, and she was clearly in pain. Jock had been a good friend to him, a mentor, and he missed him more than she could ever imagine. Which meant that he wanted to help Jessica, if he could get past his own demons long enough to do so.
“Sounds like you were close friends. I shouldn’t have reacted so badly. I’m sorry.”
Nathan frowned at the grimace she was sporting. “From what Jock said, you’re supposed to be resting for the next few months, right? As in no getting back in the saddle?” Maybe he wasn’t so good at keeping his thoughts to himself.
Jessica didn’t shoot him the dagger-filled look he’d been expecting, but she did meet his gaze. “It’s stupid, I know, but I just needed to get out in the fresh air and ride. Take it easy, just not in the way my doctor prescribed.”
“It’s not stupid to want to ride, but you need to let your body heal.” He paused. “After what you went through...”
“You know all about my fall? What happened?” she asked.
He nodded. There was no point pretending otherwise. “The whole country knows all about it. They played the footage from the Badminton Horse Trials over and over on the news, the headlines were screaming about the downfall of New Zealand’s eventing golden girl and the best horse this country has ever produced.”
Fresh tears were visible in her eyes now, ready to fall. Maybe a simple yes would have been enough—he knew how much she loved her horse, from what Jock had told him, and the equine’s career was most definitely over, forever, even if hers wasn’t.
“And now my horse is stuck back in the UK, and I’m all useless and back here on my own.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “I wish I’d never taken him over, that I’d just campaigned a European horse. I know it sounds stupid, but he’s the most incredible animal and I miss him.’
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Jessica shrugged and stood up, grimacing as she moved. Nathan jumped to his feet and held out a hand to help her, which she took, taking a moment to steady herself. The warm touch of her palm gliding into place alongside his took him by surprise, even though he was the one to initiate it.
“Just a leg up into the saddle would be great,” she told him, stopping to give Patch a pat before reaching for the reins of her own mount. “God only knows if I’ll ever be able to get up from the ground again on my own.”
Nathan bent and took her knee into his palm, counted to three then hoisted her up in the air. She landed gracefully in the saddle, her back beautiful and straight despite how much pain she must have been in. He knew she’d had a back injury, as well as doing some pretty major damage to one of her legs, but he didn’t want to pry.
“Nathan, I’m sorry for the way I acted before. I’m not usually so horrible.”
He chuckled. “Good, because otherwise I’d have to think your grandfather was a liar. He made you out to be the perfect granddaughter.”
Jessica laughed and he found himself grinning straight back at her. There was something so broken about her, so fragile, but at the same time seeing her sit up there in the saddle showed how strong she was, too. She was torn apart, emotionally and physically, but definitely not broken. Kind of like him. Only being around her was forcing him to come out of his shell, to be the stronger one, when recently he’d felt so lost, so weak.
“What’s that old saying about rose-tinted glasses?” she asked, still smiling.
Nathan laughed. “Mind if I ride back down with you, or do you want some time alone?”
“Sure thing. It’s about time I started saying yes to company instead of pretending like I’m better off on my own.”
Nathan tried to mount as gracefully as he could and failed terribly, but thankfully Jessica was either too polite to say anything or she actually hadn’t noticed. He might be able to stay in the saddle, but that was about the extent of it.
“Not bad getting to ride alongside world eventing’s number two rider,” he joked.
“Well it’s a title I’m fast going to lose, so you’d better take the chance while you can.”
She was attempting to make fun of what happened, he got that, but he knew she was heartbroken over the accident. Jock had opened up to him about a lot of things, especially about Jessica, and he knew he had to tread carefully. The only thing her grandfather hadn’t made clear was how beautiful she was in real life—the photos in the media didn’t do her justice. Every time he’d seen her interviewed she’d either been wearing a helmet or had her hair pulled back into a tight bun, dressed in formal riding attire. But with her long blond hair loose, and wearing jeans and a T-shirt, she looked like a different woman. Only he had to keep reminding himself who she was, that she was Jock’s granddaughter. Nathan wasn’t ready for anything more than a bit of fun, and that wasn’t a category that Jessica Falls belonged in. Not ever. If he hadn’t been so close to her grandfather, he would have let that be her decision, but it wasn’t. Jock had been too important to him, which meant he wasn’t going to even think about Jessica like that.
And the truth was, Nathan didn’t know if he’d ever be able to commit to any kind of relationship again after what had happened to his wife, which meant nothing could ever happen between them. But it had been a while since he’d had any female company whatsoever, and Jessica wasn’t exactly hard to be around, or to look at, even if she was grieving. And looking was entirely different from letting anything happen.
“SO TELL ME what you’re doing in New Zealand.”
Jessica slowly rubbed her horse down, paying careful attention to brushing his sweat marks. She would usually have been more vigorous, but her back was starting to ache and she didn’t want to push her body too hard, especially since the most strenuous activity she was supposed to be doing was moving from the sofa to the kitchen. The pain was bearable most of the time, unless she overdid it, and then it would hit her like a ton of bricks.
She glanced over at Nathan, watching as he stroked Patch’s face. The horse was leaning in to him like they were old friends, and she felt terrible all over again for being so rude to him when she’d
