his long muscular legs encased in softly napped light blue denims, and he wore a white tee shirt beneath a black V-necked wool sweater. His sun-kissed hair looked as if it had been finger combed rather than brushed, and when he turned towards her and smiled his clear blue eyes were no less a magnet for her than they’d always been.
She didn’t even notice the cruel scar on his cheek because her attention was so consumed by his gaze.
‘I’ll put the kettle on again and make some tea. I’m sorry if I’m a bit behind with the breakfast but I had to make up the fire. Did you sleep all right?’
‘Like a baby,’ he drawled. ‘That’s one hell of a comfortable bed.’
‘When you consider that most people spend half their lifetime in bed, a comfortable one has got to be pretty essential, don’t you think?’ Argh! She was babbling because she was suddenly inexplicably nervous around him. And, however innocent, the last topic in the world she wanted to discuss with her charismatic ex-husband was bed!
When Jake merely grinned instead of commenting, as though he knew very well how uncomfortable she was, Ailsa quickly tore her glance away and headed down the hall to the kitchen. Her house guest followed her. She quickly washed her hands, then flicked on the switch to boil the kettle again. She was reaching for a couple of pottery mugs from the dresser when Jake pulled out a chair at the breakfast table and sat down. Knowing that his interested gaze trailed her every move, she grew more and more discomfited. Although she was tense and on edge in his company, she knew that if she turned round right then her ex wouldn’t be displaying any such similar tension. When he did relax he turned it almost into an art form. His athletic body knew how to lounge to mouthwatering effect … even in a hard-backed kitchen chair.
Ailsa bit back a sigh. Deciding to bite the bullet, she made herself bring up the subject that had been at the forefront of her mind since waking that morning and seeing the breathtaking result of last night’s heavy snowfall.
‘If you were hoping to get to the airport today I don’t think much of your chances.’
‘Neither do I,’ he agreed. The smooth skin between his brows puckered. ‘Have you checked to see if there’s a phone line yet?’
Ailsa grimaced. ‘Yes, I have … it’s still out, I’m afraid.’
‘Damn!’
The harsh-voiced comment didn’t do a lot for her confidence. Had he come to dislike her so much that the thought of spending any more time than necessary in her company was abhorrent to him?
‘I feel just as frustrated that I can’t talk to Saskia,’ she murmured. Realising that the kettle had boiled, she swallowed down her hurt, then busied herself making the tea. She took Jake’s over to him at the table. ‘Help yourself to sugar. I’m going to get on with cooking your breakfast.’
‘Are you going to join me?’
‘I don’t eat much in the morning. I’ll probably just make myself a slice of toast.’
‘Just toast? Is that all you have for breakfast?’
‘Usually, yes.’
‘Then it’s no wonder you’ve lost weight.’
‘Anything else you’ve noticed about me?’ she asked, stung. It hardly made sense since they weren’t together any more, Ailsa knew, but the notion that he might find her skinny and unattractive upset her. Yes, she’d always been on the slender side, but before the accident she’d had some nicely rounded curves too. Curves that he’d professed to adore. And when she’d been pregnant with Saskia, and then their son, he’d loved her womanly shape even more.
Did he spend his time adoring some other woman’s curves these days?
Jake’s steady, unwavering glance told her he was considering the question deeply. ‘Yes. You’re even more beautiful than I remember.’
‘No, I’m not.’ Her arms went protectively around her middle. ‘Events have inevitably shaped me, and I’m very aware that I’m a little too thin and tired-looking. I’m twenty-eight, but sometimes I feel more like a hundred.’
‘That’s just crazy talk.’
‘It’s not that I even mind really.’ She shrugged. ‘As long as I have the energy to work and take care of Saskia, that’s all that matters.’
Ailsa hadn’t realised that he had risen to his feet until he stood in front of her, tipping up her chin to make her look at him. His eyes were such a searing sapphire-blue they were nearly the undoing of her. Had his lashes always been that long and lustrous? He was standing so close that surely he must hear the sound of her galloping heart?
‘You might be tired, but you’re not too thin and you certainly don’t look old before your time. As a matter of fact I thought when I saw you yesterday how incredibly young you still are. Perhaps you were too young when I married you, hmm?’
Softly smoothing back her hair from her forehead, the palm that glanced against her skin was slightly rough edged, yet infinitely soft at the same time. Like velvet.Along with his deep, mellow voice, it almost lulled her into believing that everything that was wrong between them could be set right again.
Where had that dangerous notion sprung from? The idea was as self-destructive as hoping for sanctuary in a burning house …
As if coming out of a trance, Ailsa stepped back from Jake to cross her arms protectively over her chest, almost as if guarding her heart. ‘Are you saying that you regret our marriage?’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘I’m not saying that at all. Why do you always have to go on the defensive and believe the worst?’
Now her gaze was unwavering. ‘Because some days it’s hard to believe in anything good any more,’ she told him honestly.
‘It grieves me that you feel like that.’ Sighing heavily, Jake narrowed his gaze. ‘We had some good times when we were together, don’t you remember?’
‘We did … But then we made the painful mistake of believing we had a wonderful future in prospect … you, our children and I. Look what happened to that particular little fantasy.’
Why did she do this? Go for the jugular every time? Hearing the despair in her voice made Jake feel as though his heart was being slashed to ribbons again … just as his hands had been in the accident, when he’d reached for Ailsa to protect her from the splintering glass and jagged metal that the drunken driver had recklessly and devastatingly reduced their car to, killing their beloved baby in the process. He’d already had to bear the unbearable … how long did the fates intend him to suffer?
In an agony of pain and frustration he squeezed his eyes momentarily shut. When he opened them again Ailsa had already moved back to the stove to cook breakfast. Staring at the glorious waterfall of long dark hair that waved down her back, he wanted to step up behind her, pull her too-slender form hard into his body and never let her go. Instead he glanced out of the window in front of her to see an even heavier curtain of snow descending from the cobweb-grey skies.
‘Is there to be no end to this godforsaken weather today?’
He
