She knew he hadn’t felt the same way about her. Men had sex with women all the time, and lust certainly wasn’t love. She knew better than to get emotionally involved. In her experience men didn’t remain faithful or stick around for the long haul. Especially when there was the responsibility of raising children. Her father and Juliet’s father had proven that fact.
She gave Miguel credit for being upfront and honest about his inability to stay. He hadn’t lied to her, hadn’t told her what he’d thought she’d wanted to hear. It was her fault for not doing a better job of protecting her heart.
Telling Miguel about Tommy opened up the possibility that she’d have to see Miguel on a regular basis. If they were raising a child together, there would be no way to avoid him. She would have to hide her true feelings every time they were together.
Unless Miguel still didn’t want the responsibility of a son? There was a part of her that really hoped so, because then he wouldn’t insist on joint custody.
Now she was getting way ahead of herself. Maybe she could tell Miguel about Tommy and reassure him that she didn’t need help, financially or otherwise, to raise her son. She and Tommy would be fine on their own. The way they had been for nearly four years.
“Don’t agonize over this, Kat. You don’t have to tell him this minute, we just got here. Give me a little time to do some research first, okay?”
“I guess,” she agreed doubtfully. Diana was clearly concerned, but she was confident that Tommy had rights as an American citizen. “I won’t do anything right away, although I really think I’m going to have to tell him eventually. I tried to call him when I discovered I was pregnant, even tried to find him on all the popular social media websites. Now that I know he’s here, I need to be honest with him.”
“Then why do you look like you’re about to cry?” Diana asked.
“Because I’m scared,” she murmured, trying to sniffle back her tears. “I couldn’t bear it if Miguel tried to fight for custody.”
“Okay, let’s just say that the Spanish law is the same as the U.S. regarding joint custody. You mentioned he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, but we both know that doesn’t always mean much. Miguel might be married or seriously involved in a relationship. Could be the last thing on earth that he wants is to fight for joint custody.”
“You’re right,” she agreed, even though the thought of Miguel being married or involved with someone didn’t make her feel any better. “Okay, I need to get a grip. Maybe I’ll try talking to Miguel first, try to find out about his personal life before springing the news on him.”
Diana nodded eagerly. “Good idea. Meanwhile, I’ll see if I can call the U.S. embassy to get more information.”
Kat nodded, even though deep down she knew she’d have to tell him. Because Miguel deserved to know. Besides at some point Tommy was going to ask about his father. She refused to lie to her son.
The spear in her heart twisted painfully and tears pricked her eyes. As difficult as it was to be a single mother, she couldn’t bear the thought of sending Tommy off to be with his father in a far-away country. Although she knew she could come with Tommy, no matter how difficult it would be to see Miguel again.
If Miguel was truly planning to join Doctors Without Borders, maybe all of this worry would be for nothing. She and Tommy would go back home and continue living their lives.
Tommy tripped and fell, and she leaped off the park bench and rushed over, picking him up and lavishing him with kisses before he could wail too loudly. “There, now, you’re okay, big guy.”
“Hurts,” he sniffed, rubbing his hands over his eyes and smearing dirt all over his face.
“I know, but Mommy will kiss it all better.” Holding her son close, nuzzling his neck, she desperately hoped Miguel would be honorable enough to do what was best for Tommy.
Kat returned to the hotel room to change her clothes and freshen up a bit before going back to the hospital to see Juliet and Miguel. She’d left Diana and Tommy at the local drugstore, picking out a few necessities for Diana to hold her over until her luggage arrived. They’d also picked up two prepaid disposable phones, so they could keep in touch with each other. After fifteen minutes, and with the help of one shopkeeper who did speak a bit of English, they had the phones activated and working.
The metro was far more crowded towards the end of the workday, forcing her to stand, clinging to the overhead pole.
At her stop, she got off the cramped carriage and walked the short distance to the hospital. The temperature had to be pushing eighty and by the time she arrived, she was hot and sweaty again.
So much for her attempt to look nice for Miguel.
Ridiculous to care one way or the other how she looked. Men weren’t exactly knocking down her door, especially once they realized she had a son. Not that she was interested in dating.
She hadn’t been with anyone since spending the night with Miguel. At first because she’d been pregnant and then because being a single mother was all-consuming. But she didn’t regret a single minute of having Tommy.
In the hospital, she went up to the I.C.U. and paused outside Juliet’s doorway, relieved to discover Miguel wasn’t there, waiting for her. Her sister had been turned so that she was lying on her right side facing the doorway, but otherwise her condition appeared unchanged.
She crossed over and took Juliet’s hand in hers. “Hi, Jules, I’m back. Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”
Juliet’s hand didn’t move within hers.
“Wiggle your toes. Can you wiggle your toes for me?”
Juliet’s non-broken leg moved, but Kat couldn’t figure out if the movement had been made on purpose or not. When she asked a second time, the leg didn’t move, so she assumed the latter.
She pulled up a chair and sat down beside her sister, glancing curiously at the chart hanging off the end of the bed. She didn’t bother trying to read it, as it would all be in Spanish, but she wished she could read the medical information for herself, to see how Juliet was progressing.
She kept up her one-sided conversation with her sister for the next fifteen minutes or so. Until she ran out of things to say.
“Katerina?”
The way Miguel said her name brought back a fresh wave of erotic memories of their night together and she tried hard to paste a friendly smile on her face, before rising to her feet and facing him. “Hello, Miguel. How did your surgery go this morning?”
“Very well, thanks. Would you mind going across the street to the restaurant to talk?” he asked. “I’ve missed lunch.”
She instinctively wanted to say no, but that seemed foolish and petty so she nodded. She glanced back at her sister, leaning over the side rail to talk to her. “I love you, sis. See you soon,” she said, before moving away to meet Miguel in the doorway.
As they walked down the stairs to the main level of the hospital, he handed her a stack of papers. “I spent some time translating bits of Juliet’s chart for you, so that you can get a sense as to how she’s doing.”
