But what explanation was there, really? He and Kady disagreed on a fundamental part of their life together. She wanted more children. He didn’t. Had taken steps to make sure that option was never on the table with Kady, or any another woman.
His and Kady’s wants and needs had landed them in opposite corners of the ring, and neither of them was willing to come to the middle.
Middle? There was no middle. One of them would have had to give in completely. He couldn’t ask that of Kady. Whispers of guilt surrounded his heart and mind, his teeth clamping tightly to ward them off. She deserved to have kids if that’s what she wanted. He just...couldn’t. A divorce had seemed better than forcing her to live a life she didn’t want. Maybe she already had another child. The thought of that made his jaw lock tight. She wasn’t married again, judging from the lack of a ring on that finger she’d been worrying a moment earlier.
Phil nodded. “We’ll just have to take whatever you’re willing to give while you’re here, then. Since Dr. Stevenson is fine with you pairing up, then we’re good?”
One side of Tucker’s mouth twitched to the side at the way Phil had worded that. He and Kady used to do a whole lot of pairing up—in a completely different sense. There was no way he or Kady were going to admit to that, though, so it looked like they were both stuck. Unless they told Phil they were divorced—from each other—they were going to have a hard time explaining why they couldn’t work together.
“I’m happy to help, of course.”
Those words were soft. Unsure. Not like the Kady he knew who took the bull by the horns and wrestled it to the ground. Then again, she’d lived through a lot of heartache since their youthful days when they’d been carefree and crazy in love.
“Good. I’ll leave you two to work on coordinating your schedules. I appreciate you giving us some of your time, Dr. McPherson. If you go down to HR, they can reimburse you for your hours. Not as much as you’d get for practicing medicine, but we do have a small budget for consultants.”
“It’s okay. I’m taking Dr. Blacke’s place at the conference anyway. If it will help patients in the future, then it’s for a good cause.”
“We at Wilson-Ross thank you.”
It wasn’t like Phil to stand on formalities. Or to suggest that a visiting doctor transfer to his department on a permanent basis. He took a closer look at the man as a tinge of something dark and ugly rose up inside him. He didn’t see any overt interest, but Phil was divorced too, and Kady was a beautiful woman.
Even if the man was interested, there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing he would do about it. His ring was no longer on her finger. She could do as she pleased.
And if Phil pleased her?
Give it a rest, idiot!
Maybe interpreting Phil’s words as a dismissal, his ex climbed to her feet and reached to shake Phil’s hand. Her blouse rode up, exposing a sliver of her back in the process.
His fingers curled into his palms.
Damn.
How he’d loved to explore each ridge and hollow of her spine, his index finger slowly working its way from her neck all the way down the vertebral column, whispering the names and numbers of each in her ear. By the time he’d reached the bottom, she’d been shaking with need.
So had he.
Sex between them had always been volcanic. Greedy and generous. Two words not normally associated with each other, but that described their lovemaking perfectly.
“Thanks for the opportunity,” she murmured.
The opportunity to spend more of her time with her ex? Of course not. That was just his feverish brain lusting after what it couldn’t have. What it shouldn’t have.
Which was why he’d had to let her go two years ago. His body had never listened to his head where she was concerned. If he’d stayed, he would have ended up making them both miserable. He’d seen it in her face. Heard it in her voice.
He waited for her to leave the room, then threw a nod to Phil and followed her out. He fell into step beside her. “You don’t have to do this, you know. If you said no, Phil would have to understand.”
“And what would we tell him exactly?”
“We’d think of something.”
She sighed. “I think it’s already been decided. Besides, I want to do it.”
“Why?” He was genuinely curious. The last thing they should do was spend any more time than necessary together. Hadn’t he already proven that a minute ago? Or maybe she wasn’t still as affected by him as he was by her.
“I don’t know exactly. It’s an exciting chance to see how things are done at the main campus of Wilson-Ross.”
“Trust me. It’s the same as Wilson-Ross in Atlanta.”
“Maybe, but we follow protocols set by New York. You see the first new wave of treatments.”
He nodded. “You could get that by meeting with the folks in Maternal-Fetal. I could set up a face to face with them, if you want.”
“I would love that. But I’d still like to help with the medical students.” She turned her face to look at him. “Unless it would make you too uncomfortable.”
That was exactly what he had been thinking just moments earlier. But it wasn’t something he wanted to admit. Not even to himself.
“And you wouldn’t be?”
The colorful lines on the white linoleum floor helped guide patients and staff alike to different sections of the hospital. He followed the blue stripe, although he knew the route by heart. His office was on the other side of the hospital.
“We’ve lived through things that were a lot worse than a few hours of awkwardness.”
“Yes. We have.” He hesitated. It was none of his business, but he had to ask. “Did you ever have more kids?”
Her face paled for a few telling seconds before turning a bright pink. She opened her mouth. Closed it. Then opened it again. “No. I haven’t.”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.”
She stopped in her tracks, her chin popping up. “No. You shouldn’t have.” Then her face softened. “Thank you for sending the flowers, though.”
He didn’t have to ask what she was talking about. The monthly daisies for Grace’s grave. “The florist sends them. I just put in the order.”
“I thought they were from you, but there is never any card attached.”
“Grace can’t read a card.” His jaw tightened again. “Or anything else.”
The florist had told him that daisies symbolized innocence and purity. Exactly what he thought of when he remembered his daughter. It had made the suffering she’d gone through all the more terrible somehow.
“Then
