“You were truly exhausted, Laina. I’m so pleased you rested well and are feeling stronger.” She smiled and took the empty plate. “Do you feel up to coming down to the dining room, or would you prefer a tray here in your room?”
“No, no tray.” Laina shook her head and rose to her feet. “I’ve had enough of being alone.” She squared her shoulders, trying not to look as pitiful as she felt. “Is there time enough to see the children before dinner? I’ve so been looking forward to making my new nephew’s acquaintance.”
Elizabeth laughed and nodded. “How could I refuse such a request? We shall make time. Cook can set dinner back an hour. Now, I’ll ring for Trudy while you have a wash, then she will help you dress and do your hair.” Elizabeth smiled at her over her shoulder as she headed for the bellpull. “She’s already set out your things in the dressing room.”
“Thank you, Trudy, my hair has never looked lovelier.” Laina stepped out of the dressing room and immediately spotted her newly pressed gown on the bed. It looked like a crow among a flock of cardinals. Gloom settled over her like a cloak. She walked to the bed, took the dress into her hands and sighed. “Oh, how I hate to put this dress on. I’m so tired of wearing black!”
“Then why wear it?”
“Why?” Laina shot Elizabeth a puzzled look. “Because I’m a widow, and a widow is expected to wear black.”
“I know the convention, Laina.” Elizabeth moved to stand beside her. “I’m only questioning your reasons for continuing to follow it when it makes you so unhappy. Stanford has been gone nine months—and this is Philadelphia, not New York. No one here will know if you take off your widow’s garb a little early.”
“Justin—?” Laina stopped as Elizabeth gave a firm shake of her head.
“Justin hates the custom. He says it’s barbaric. He has written in his will that I am not to wear black if he departs this earth before me.” She smiled. “He likes me in soft colors.”
“Truly?” Laina heard the surprise in her own voice. She smiled. “Well, I can only say my brother is a very considerate and wise man.” She looked down at the hated black garment in her hands. Her smile faded and she released another sigh. “Nothing would give me more pleasure at this moment than to rip this dress to shreds! But it would do no good. I have nothing but black gowns with me.”
“I know…but I have others.” Elizabeth laughed and hurried to the door. “Bring them in, Annie.”
“Ohhh!” Laina all but swooned at sight of the different-colored gowns draped over the young maid’s arms. “Bless you, Elizabeth!” She gave her sister-in-law a fierce hug, then clasped her hands in ecstasy at the array of beautiful gowns being spread out on the bed. “Oh, my! They look like a rainbow.”
“God’s promise of better days ahead.” Elizabeth patted Laina’s clasped hands, then gave a rueful glance at the gowns. “I’m afraid there’s nothing red.”
Laina ignored the remark about God’s promise. “I know—Justin hates red.” She reached out and fingered the soft satin of a periwinkle-blue gown with an overdress of cream-colored, lace-edged net. “Perhaps this one?” She shot a questioning look at Elizabeth. “Or do you think it’s too—”
“I think it’s perfect. It will look lovely with your dark hair and blue eyes.” Elizabeth cleared her throat and turned to her maids. “Annie, go to my room and bring back my cream-colored satin slippers and my paisley stole. They look well with the dress. And Trudy, remove that black crape from around the bottom of Mrs. Brighton’s petticoat, then help her into the blue gown.”
She swept her gaze to Laina as the maids rushed to do her bidding. “It’s fortunate we’re much of a size. These gowns will do for now, if Trudy takes a tuck here and there. But you need dresses of deeper, more vibrant colors to truly enhance your beauty. And I know the very modiste who can create them for you.” Her lips twitched and she looked away.
“What is it?”
Her query drew Elizabeth’s gaze back to meet hers. “I can’t pretend any longer, Laina. I’m so glad you agreed to cast aside your mourning attire, because your brother has already arranged for Madame Duval to wait on you tomorrow.”
“He has?” Excitement coursed through her as Elizabeth nodded affirmation. “Well, bless his heart!”
Laina rapped softly, then rushed through the door into her brother’s study before he had a chance to answer. “Justin, I’m sorry to interrupt whatever it is you’re doing, but I simply had to come thank you!”
Justin dropped the bill of lading he’d been comparing against the profit statement on his desk and braced himself as Laina hurled herself into his arms. “Thank me for what?”
“For setting me free!” Laina stepped back, held her arms out to the sides and did a quick pirouette. “Do I not look lovely?”
“Beautiful.” Justin’s grin changed into a frown. “But much too thin.” Concern darkened his eyes. “Are you certain you’re not ill?”
“I’m fine, dearheart.” He looked doubtful. Laina sighed. “Truly I am, Justin. It’s only that I’ve had no appetite. Sitting alone at a dining table staring at empty chairs does not encourage one to eat well.”
His face tightened. “Yes…I remember.”
“Oh, Justin, I’m sorry.” Laina put her arms around his waist and squeezed. “I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories.”
“It’s all right, Laina. Thanks to the Lord’s blessings, the past no longer has the power to hurt me.” He kissed the top of her head, then held her a short distance away. His gaze fastened on hers. “I was remembering in regard to your circumstances. I intend to do something about them.”
He sounded so certain! Hope locked the air in Laina’s lungs. “What do you intend to do?”
Justin shook his head. “I don’t know. I only know the first step is to pray for guidance.”
The air rushed from Laina’s lungs in a disgusted, disappointed snort. She stepped back. “Then I’ll not hold my brea—” His finger on her lips stopped the angry words.
“Don’t speak words of unbelief, Laina. They only block your own blessing.” He lowered his hand to his side. “I know how you feel, and I understand. I felt the same way not very long ago. But I was wrong.”
She drew breath to speak.
He shook his head. “Trust me, Laina. I’m not asking you to believe—only to be still and wait.”
It was too much. She couldn’t hold the anger any longer. “Wait? I’ve waited for ten years! Do you really think things will change now? Look at me! I’m barren, Justin. I’m a widow whose husband lost interest when I couldn’t produce an heir. Do you think another man will marry me? Things would only end the same way.”
The words spurted from Laina’s mouth as fast as the tears flowed down her cheeks. She swiped the tears away and drew a deep breath. “You believe in a God who answers prayers and pours out blessings? Well, I do not! I prayed for children for ten years and I’ll not waste time praying again. You believe—very well, you pray! And if your Lord gives
