it wasn’t necessary to do so. However, the laughter in Ross’s eyes had once again played havoc with her equilibrium. She could feel her heart thumping and it shocked her to realise that she was so susceptible to him. She searched for something to say to defuse the situation and her eyes alighted on the heap of paper napkins.
‘Why do you need all those napkins?’
‘One thing I’ve learned through bitter experience is to be prepared like any good Scout should be.’
His smiled widened and Heather felt her heart kick in another half-dozen extra beats. There was no ignoring the fact that Ross was looking at her like a man looked at a woman he found extremely attractive.
‘The day you don’t have a wad of paper napkins to hand is the day that one of the little horrors ends up spilling orange juice all over the place!’
‘Sounds as though you spend a lot of time with your nephews,’ Heather replied lightly, although it was hard to behave as though nothing had happened.
‘As much as I can, especially at the moment.’ He leant back in his chair and sighed. ‘My sister is expecting another baby and she’s had problems with her blood pressure. She needs to rest but it isn’t easy with two lively five-year-olds to take care of and a husband who’s working abroad. I do what I can whenever I have any time off.’
‘She’s lucky to have you to help her,’ Heather said as evenly as she could. She picked up her cup and took refuge in sipping some of the hot tea. She never usually had any difficulty keeping a rein on her emotions but she’d had such a fright that day when she’d seen Grace running towards the swings. Maybe that explained why she was behaving so oddly.
‘That’s what families are for, isn’t it?’ He shrugged but she could see the curiosity in his hazel eyes as he looked at her across the table. ‘I imagine it’s difficult to balance the demands of your job with your daughter’s needs. Does your husband help?’
Heather put the cup carefully back on its saucer because her hands had started shaking and she didn’t want to spill the drink. She knew that Ross was trying to find out more about her, but how much should she tell him? Did she really want to explain about Stewart’s death? Yet for some reason telling Ross the version she’d told everyone else didn’t seem enough.
‘I’m not married.’ She cleared her throat, shocked that she should feel the need to debate the issue. What difference did it make what she told Ross? She barely knew him and she certainly wasn’t under any obligation to pour out her life story to him!
‘Grace’s father and I were engaged but he died before she was born.’
Her tone was devoid of emotion, almost as though she was talking about someone else rather than herself. She’d learned from experience that most people didn’t pry any further if she stated the facts in that indifferent way.
‘How awful for you! It must have been a terrible shock.’ Ross leant forward and laid his hand on top of hers. ‘I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you to cope on your own, Heather.’
The compassion in his voice was so genuine that Heather felt a lump come to her throat. ‘It was awful,’ she admitted huskily.
‘Can you tell me what happened? It might help to talk about it. I may be wrong, of course, but I have an idea that you’ve been bottling up your feelings for far too long.’
He ran his thumb over the back of her hand in a gentle caress that was meant to soothe, but it had the opposite effect. Heather felt a burning heat flow through her body and start to melt away the layers of ice with which she had surrounded herself for the past few years.
She snatched her hand away, terrified by the thought of what might happen then. She didn’t want to feel the way she’d felt during those terrible months after Stewart had died. She couldn’t bear it! She simply couldn’t cope with the heartache again. Ross might mean well but he had no idea what he was doing.
She stood up abruptly and pushed back her chair, ignoring the startled look he gave her. ‘I’m sorry, but I have to go. I hadn’t realised how late it is.’
Moving swiftly around the table, she lifted Grace out of the high chair, shaking her head when the little girl reached for the beaker of milk. ‘I’m sorry, darling, but we have to go now. Granny is waiting for us. You can have another drink when we get home.’
Grace was obviously less than pleased about leaving her milk and broke into noisy sobs. Heather cuddled her close, wishing with all her heart that she’d never let herself be drawn into this situation in the first place. What on earth had she been thinking of? All she’d done was upset Grace and upset herself as well.
‘I’m sorry, Heather.’
She glanced round when Ross rose to his feet, feeling her heart turn over when she saw the regret on his face. He was several inches taller than she was and she had to tilt back her head to look at him. It made her feel incredibly vulnerable to stand there staring up at him without being able to mask her own feelings properly.
‘There’s nothing to apologise for. It’s my fault for not checking the time,’ she replied, deliberately pretending to misunderstand him.
‘I’m sorry for having raked up the past when it’s obvious that you can’t bear to talk about it.’ His voice was low but it was clear that he didn’t intend to go along with the pretence for politeness’s sake.
‘I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,’ she snapped. ‘Thank you for the tea, Mr Tanner. Now, if you’ll excuse me…’
She went to brush past him, feeling her breath catch when he put his hand on her arm and stopped her. Even through the thickness of her fleece jacket she could feel the heat from his fingers burning her skin.
‘If you ever need to talk, Heather—’ he began, but she didn’t let him finish, couldn’t when she knew that she just might be tempted to pour out the whole dreadful story to him. The thought of how she would feel afterwards was more than she could cope with.
‘I won’t!’
She shrugged off his hand and he didn’t try to detain her again as she hurried to the door. There were a lot of people milling around outside the café but Heather didn’t stop as she made for the path that would take her home. Grace was still sobbing but she quietened after a few minutes and soon fell asleep on Heather’s shoulder.
Heather slowed down, realising it was unlikely that Ross would follow her. She must have made it perfectly clear that she’d wanted to get away from him. She sighed because it wasn’t like her to overreact like that. It had never happened before so what was it about Ross Tanner that made it so difficult for her to remain in control?
She tried to work it out but it was impossible. The only thing she could do was ensure that she never placed herself in such a difficult position again. The last thing she needed was her life being turned upside down when she’d finally achieved a degree of calm after all the turmoil. She would make it clear to Ross that she wasn’t interested in him playing any part in her life….
Her heart lurched when it struck her that she’d already accepted she would see him again. He wasn’t the type of man who would be put off by what had happened that day when he was obviously determined to get to know her better. Melanie had been right—Ross was attracted to her.
Heather
