that happens, I try to comfort her, it breaks my heart to see her cry, I can partly cheer her up, because we love each other. To be honest I must admit that even though itâs kind of tragic, I still see it in a positive light, at least I can remain here with her and our family.
To make sure thatâs true I often ask her:
âIsnât it true that I can stay here with you and the others forever? Iâll cheer you up whenever you need, and youâll do the same.â
She smiles melancholily, and replies:
âYes darling, what are we going to do around here if you leave too?â
Sometimes itâs also hard to share everything with the other kids, jealousies and envies spring up every now and then, but I think thatâs normal, itâs a way to learn the rules of living together.
These places are so beautiful, I could never imagine having to leave someday. This thought really worries me, I often have a strange feeling, and when I think about it Iâm afraid that, by mistake or just for a laugh, someone may come here and take me away, like in a nightmare.
But now Iâm tired, Iâve got drowsy in mamma Barbaraâs arms and Iâve fallen asleep on her knees and I no longer see the stars in the sky, Iâve taken them with me in my sleep together with mamma Barbaraâs tender smile.
Surprise visit
The following morningâ¦
Oswald got up early this morning, he and Karl must have gone to the fields to make hay, I could tell from his empty bed, we sleep in the same room.
Waltraud, now a young woman, sleeps in her own room instead.
Mamma Barbara comes to wake me up, but Iâm already awake and canât wait to get up, I donât know why but in summer as soon as I see a ray of light Iâve got to get up and go outside.
Normally Iâm not a sleepyhead, I toss and turn before getting up, just like our football teams when they try to stall the game at the end of the first half.
In my mind, I can see mamma Barbaraâs breakfast perfectly: a large, huge, white, crunchy, thickly sliced loaf of freshly baked bread, nice and soft, with butter and homemade jam, and obviously our cowsâ fresh milk with some Ovaltine.
Itâs a bright sunny day, the viewâs spectacular, the August sky as clear as it can be, maybe weâre getting close to the end of the month, the first days of September are approaching.
Barbara cheerfully says to me:
âGrandmaâs coming to see us today, Iâve waited until now to
tell you, I wanted to make sure it was a surprise.â
âReally? Thatâs amazing, grandmaâs visiting from Bolzano, I
knew it was going to be a great day, I could tell when I
peeked out of my eyes and saw the sunrays shine as far as
the bedroom.â
I wasnât expecting that, itâs a real surprise, usually when grandma comes they tell me some days in advance, while this timeâ¦
About every fourteen days, often on a Sunday, but also during the week, on Tuesdays for example, our house and my heart are decked to their best, as soon as I finish breakfast I run to the bus stop to hug her as soon as I can.
If sheâs on time, she arrives at 10 in the morning, I always look forward to this moment. I see the bus arriving, I jump up and down impatiently, it gets closer to the stop, it stops, a friendly and intriguing noise, a whistle from the opening doors tgssschhhh and then they shut tgssschhhh toc.
The bus struggles a bit to start up again with a big smoke, suddenly grandmaâs silver hair appears and her sweet and charming smile wins me over as if it was a loverâs, itâs a childlike joy.
She always brings something for me, but she herself is the best present possible. When we return home, I help her carrying her bag and I fill her in with the latest news. We climb a mild slope, and after the first bend we can already see our house. Itâs so beautiful to walk hand in hand on the dirt road while Mamma Barbara waves at us in the distance.
When Iâm between them both and I hear them discuss or talk about me, about the pranks I pull with Oswald and the other kids, I feel like in a circle of sensations and pathos, coming to a close in that very moment Iâm experiencing.
Grandma and mamma Barbara have become very close friends. Barbara always says every time grandma comes to visit us itâs like a holiday for her too, she wonât do anything for the whole day apart from spending time with me and her.
During the week thereâs a lot of work to do here between the house, the family and the stable, but at least for a day she can rest for a bit and take a break from the country life routine.
For grandmaâs arrival, Mamma Barbara always cooks some traditional Alto Adige dishes which are so good, as well as traditional desserts such as strudel. They talk for hours on end, they have so many things to share with each other, itâs as if they are in a confessional. I believe having the chance to speak with a trustworthy and understanding friend such as grandma also works as a safety valve for mamma Barbara. After all, grandma has lived through both World Wars and seen it all. Her stories and anecdotes, which she describes with enjoyable intensity and emphasis, intrigue me too, I have a hunch Iâll be hearing these tales again and again.
Looking at them with attention while they speak, I notice they have the same soft cheeks and the same sweet smile, kind of hardened by their intense lives. Some faces are like books, you can almost read a personâs impressions and characteristics without a word from them, but for a child itâs better to hear adult people calmly talking all around them, itâs like music.
It gives you a certain sense of security, itâs like an invisible blanket wrapping you inside, itâs like love, you unconsciously record the voices and the many undefinable sensations.
I feel like thereâs a strong bond with grandma, itâs as if sheâs my guide, a channel between two worlds, the first is mamma Barbaraâs, the second is grandma Annaâs, who for four years now has been coming up to see me every two weeks.
At my age of four Iâve never asked myself whose mother she was, if sheâs my paternal grandmother or⦠she certainly canât be my maternal grandmother, since Barbaraâs not her daughter.
Papa Karl has his own mother, sheâs already almost ninety and she lives near us in the town, she looks after the chickens and the many cats we have.
Our
