right, breaking promises is not a good thing, but sometimes other things get in the way.’
‘You want to see Sean’s project but not mine.’ Poppy crammed the last piece of toast into her mouth.
Kit turned to Neve again. ‘You’ll be there, won’t you?’
‘I will.’ Neve kept thoughts of ‘aren’t I always’ and ‘why wouldn’t I be?’ to herself. She didn’t want to highlight to Poppy her growing frustration at Kit’s increasing lack of commitment to his daughter. She was beginning to feel like a single parent.
‘Neve will tell me all about it,’ said Kit. ‘I’ll make it up to you. I’ll take you out on the boat at the weekend. How about that?’
It was almost as if he’d read Neve’s thoughts, although a one-off boat trip wasn’t the same as day-to-day involvement.
Poppy stopped chewing and cast her gaze in Kit’s direction, although still avoided eye contact. ‘OK.’
Neve watched as Kit heaved a sigh of relief. He grinned broadly at Poppy. ‘Excellent. Now, I have to go. I’ll see you tonight.’
‘Bye.’ Poppy got down from the stool and padded out of the kitchen.
‘Brush your teeth!’ called Neve after her.
‘Thanks for that,’ said Kit.
‘I didn’t do anything,’ replied Neve.
‘Exactly,’ said Kit sarcastically.
‘I think you’ve got away with that very lightly. A trip out on the boat.’
‘It’s just one of those things. I can’t avoid this meeting.’ Kit looked over at the shopping list Neve had prepared earlier. He picked up the pen and added to it.
Neve turned the list back round to read the addition. ‘Condoms.’
‘Yep. We used the last one at the weekend. Remember?’ He winked at her and patted her backside.
‘How could I forget?’ The words came out with a touch more resentment than Neve intended. Kit’s insistence to always use a condom was beginning to erode Neve’s belief that she would ever change his mind about having a baby. In the hot anticipation of making love, she’d mentioned the thorny subject to Kit and managed to elicit a promise from him that he would think about it again. Now, Neve slipped her arms around Kit’s neck. ‘I also remember our conversation.’
‘About?’
‘Don’t pretend you’ve forgotten that too,’ said Neve. She cocked her head to one side. ‘You know, you were going to think about it again.’
The smile on Kit’s face dropped like a stone. He exhaled a long breath and gently removed Neve’s hands from his neck. ‘We agreed.’
‘We didn’t. You decided. There’s a difference.’
‘Neve, I don’t want to give you false hope; the answer is still no.’
Neve felt the tears spike her eyes. She blinked hard. She felt desperate. She was finding it increasingly more and more difficult to contemplate a life without a child of her own. She knew there was no middle ground on the issue, no compromise, and this only served to frustrate her even more. One of them had to do a complete U-turn. ‘Please don’t just say no without thinking about it. I mean, really thinking about it. I’m on the verge of begging you.’
‘And we’ve had this conversation so many times lately. Come on, Neve, it’s not like I’ve suddenly changed my mind about it. I’ve always been honest with you. You’re being unfair. I do wish you could just accept it.’
‘And I wish you could accept the risk of something tragic happening again is remote. I’m willing to take the chance.’
‘I’m not. I’m not willing to risk losing another wife in childbirth and …’ he glanced over his shoulder, ‘… and having another child with special needs as a result,’ he finished. He fixed Neve with a glare, daring her to challenge him, before striding round to the other side of the island worktop. ‘I’m not having this conversation again. Understand?’
Sadly, Neve did understand. She had always thought that she might be able to persuade Kit to change his mind. Never in a million years had she thought that when they first had the conversation about increasing their little family unit from three to four, his reluctance was, in fact, a determination. He was never going to have any more children. He was never going to subject himself to the trauma he went through with his first wife. And he certainly was never going to run the risk of having another child starved of oxygen and suffering brain damage as a result. She understood it wasn’t that he didn’t love Poppy. He totally loved her, but his time and emotions were stretched enough looking after just one child, so looking after two was a physical and mental impossibility for Kit. Neve’s thoughts turned back to her adopted daughter and she followed Kit out to the hall.
‘Are you sure there’s no way you can cancel Sean and get to Poppy’s presentation?’
‘No. I can’t. I’m sorry,’ said Kit. ‘You’ll be there; that will make her happy.’
‘Just as well I cancelled my art class, then,’ said Neve. She couldn’t help feeling peeved at Kit’s lack of concern at missing Poppy’s presentation, and in assuming that she’d be there to pick up the pieces. It didn’t matter to him that she had to cancel something that was important to her.
Kit gave a laugh. ‘It’s just an art class. Not like it’s a job, or anything.’
‘And whose fault is that? You don’t want me to have a job!’
‘A lot of women would love to be in your shoes and not have to work. I like you here at home, so does Poppy. Why are you getting all worked up about an art class anyway?’ asked Kit.
‘Because it’s not just an art class,’ said Neve, resisting the urge to stamp her foot in frustration. ‘It’s my art therapy class.’
‘It won’t hurt you to miss it just this once,’ said Kit.
‘You’re being so unreasonable,’ said Neve. ‘Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, I’ve gone out of my way to make sure I’m there for Poppy. Why can’t you?’
Kit gave an exaggerated sigh, as he spun round to face Neve. ‘Tell me, is it the fact that you’ve had to cancel your art class that’s pissing you off or the fact that you won’t be seeing Picasso this week?’
‘What are you talking about?’ Neve could feel the colour rising up her neck.
‘Jake. You’re always going on about him, how he understands art so well, how he uses colours to interpret moods, how the passion shines out from his paintings,’ said Kit, mimicking Neve’s voice. ‘You’ve even started making your face a work of art in the mornings. More red lipstick, fussing over your hair. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.’
‘What? Are you mad?’ asked Neve, hoping her indignation was convincing enough. Really, she felt embarrassed; it was true, she had been fussing over her hair a bit more and as much as she tried to deny it to herself, she knew deep down
