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— Fechner’s Law, 1860
My fingers greedily feel for their surroundings.
Luxurious, soft delights. They explore a silky mound and discover its pinnacle.
I curl up in delight. What is this I have discovered? A breast?
I cup it and feel its suppleness against the palm of my hand. I play with its mountain peak until it hardens, and then have the good fortune to discover another.
I tease it to life so it matches its twin.
These are the softest pillow breasts imaginable. Oh so reactive, so full, so very changeable under my touch.
I continue my playing, my teasing … they just feel too good to pry myself away.
Another hand gently touches the breast.
‘They do feel amazing don’t they?’ says Jeremy’s voice softly.
I pull my hands away, embarrassed. I thought I was alone. ‘Oh, I didn’t realise you were here. I’m sorry.’
‘Nothing to apologise for, Alex. They are yours to touch.’ I can hear the smile in his voice, which reminds me I’m still blind.
Strong arms wrap around me, cradle me.
‘And of course I’m still here. I said I’d look after you.’
My thoughts feel vague and scattered.
‘Have I been dreaming?’ I smile to myself … Ah yes, amazing dreams and fantasies, like nothing I’ve ever experienced before in my life. My body reacts instantly to the memory, the intensity of feelings trembling through me.
‘Are you okay?’ Jeremy asks urgently, his voice concerned.
‘Oh, yes … but I’m not sure … what happened, Jeremy … where are we?’
I suddenly feel a dull pain across my buttocks as I ask these questions and instinctively stop myself from asking more.
‘Shh, just relax. You have been through so much.’ He gently strokes my hair.
Still in a fog, I decide this is the best option. As I snuggle into his perfect, firm chest I raise my hand to my eyes, confirming the presence of the silky blindfold.
‘Yes, it is still there, sweetheart. It will be for just a little longer.’ He kisses my hands, keeping them away from my face. He places a warm duvet over me.
I hear his voice from within his chest, but not his words. It lulls and soothes my thoughts like fluffy clouds floating across a blue sky. I’m in a blissful state, so very content just to be warm and safe and close to him. He could be reading me a story, a poem, a newspaper article for all I comprehend. I am unable to decipher his words … I hear his heartbeating with one ear and perhaps rain pounding against a window with the other and I concentrate on both sounds rather than what Jeremy is saying. I zone back in to his voice in time to hear, ‘Are you thirsty, hungry?’
Wonderful idea. ‘Is there any more hot chocolate? It warms me up from the inside out.’
‘Sure, I’ll make some more.’
The mattress moves as he shifts his weight and I feel like I’m falling. I grab his arm anxiously.
‘It’s alright, sweetheart, I’m not leaving you. I’m just getting your drink. Try not to move around too much.’
‘It feels so weird to move, like I’m really heavy.’
I hear him making noises. It sounds like he is in a kitchen which seems odd in a hotel room.
He returns and places my fingers around the mug. I can’t quite grip it firmly enough.
‘Let me do this for you.’ He brings the warm liquid to my lips.
‘Ahhh, thank you, you do make a great hot chocolate, Jeremy.’
I picture myself sitting here blindfolded, with Jeremy and a hot chocolate, after all I have just been through. It is as if we are completely ignoring the elephant in the room. For some reason this thought sets me off into a fit of the giggles. I can’t contain the laughter that erupts from within me at this thought, as if releasing all my nervous tension.
‘What’s so funny?’ Jeremy grabs the mug from me before I drop it.
I am gasping for air and my stomach starts to ache from the spasms as I try to explain to Jeremy what is so funny. I can’t get the words out because I’m laughing so much, which sets me off again. I hear Jeremy chuckling now too, probably at me. I don’t care, I haven’t laughed this hard in years; it hurts but it feels good. My eyes are streaming. I try to contain the spasms overtaking me, to get some breath into my lungs. I’m going to wet myself. I move to the edge of the bed and collapse straight onto the floor, still paralysed with convulsions.
Jeremy is instantly at my side. ‘Oh, my god, Alexa! Are you hurt?’ His words come out in a rush.
‘Ba— ba— bath— bath ro—om,’ I frantically utter between gasps.
Jeremy scoops me up off the floor and places me on the toilet just in the nick of time. My bladder explodes in relief and appreciation. I take the opportunity to calm my stomach muscles and inhale much-needed air as the release of my bladder continues. I look directly into his concerned eyes and wonder why he looks so worried. It takes me a moment to register that I am, in fact, looking at a vague image of Jeremy’s face. Excitement flushes through me.
‘I can see! It’s still very dark and you are extremely fuzzy, but here you are, in front of me,’ I blurt out rather obviously. ‘When … How … Has it been forty-eight hours?’
‘More or less. The final effect of the drops will have diluted more quickly given that fit of hysterics and the blindfold came loose when you fell off the bed. So, yes, you will have complete vision back in a few hours or so.’
His words bring me instant relief, but also a strange sadness knowing our time together is coming to a close. It is weird, like opening my eyes in the middle of a cave, where I can’t see anything but what’s directly in front of me.
With my vision not restored enough to absorb much more than his blurry face, I feel quite unsteady and rather self-conscious that I’m sitting on the toilet staring at him as he holds me in position. Embarrassed that he is seeing me like this, I quickly wipe and get up to wash my hands, exceptionally grateful for my new-found independence. I take a step forward but my legs immediately go limp and I crumple into a heap. So much for independence.
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