their idea of how they do their job and what they deserve as a result. Women think about their weaknesses when they negotiate. Men think about their abilities. Women self-deprecate. Men demand and then revel in praise and the status it brings. They ask more so they get more.
“Remember Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, only backwards and in high heels.”
Ann Richards, governor of Texas 1991–1995
Those in any doubt that those people who ask for more get more should take note of a survey out from Woolworth’s just before Christmas the year before last. It pointed out that on average parents spend just under £100 more on Christmas presents for their sons than for their daughters. Why? The answers from the parents surveyed should give every woman in the country something to think about: boys ask for more presents, and the presents they ask for tend to be more expensive (the most expensive toy in the top five for girls that Christmas was the Amazing Amanda doll at £69.99, for boys it was the PlayStation Portable at £179.99). Girls also asked for smaller presents that they can ‘love, care for and collect’ said the Woolworth’s spokesman. They ‘keep their toys for longer and are not so demanding for the latest craze’. Boys, on the other hand, ‘always ask for the new toys as soon as they are released’.
And, just to ram the point home, the parents surveyed said that if they didn’t get what they wanted their boys got nastier than their girls.
The point is that self-discrimination starts young. Women don’t ask for enough often enough. The result? They get stuck with cheap dolls when they are 9 and then rubbish salaries when they are 29.
This kind of thing matters. Imagine that a man and a woman are both offered a job at the same time at the same place. The offer includes a starting salary of £25,000. The woman takes it. The man negotiates it up to £28,000. Thereafter they both get 5% pay rises every year over the next 30 years or so. How much more do you think he will earn over his career than she does?
The answer is a shocking £285,000. And that’s a minimum number: if the woman accepts the 5% every year but the man pushes it up a little more at each annual review (don’t forget men initiate negotiations four times more often than women) he will end up with even more. A quarter of a million pounds is many times more than the average person’s net worth will ever be but women throw that kind of money away every day simply by being too embarrassed, too shy and, let’s face it, too foolish to ask to be paid what they are worth. So next time you think that you’re lucky to have your job remember that, if you aren’t paid the market rate, you aren’t nearly as lucky as the employer who has managed to get you to do the same work as the man at the next desk for less money.
All this means that you must have your wits about you in the workplace. There are many ways to make yourself better off – and we’ll be looking at many of them later in the book – but the simplest way to get richer in a hurry is to make sure you are getting paid what you are really worth. Once you’ve done that you can start working to turn that stream of income into long-term wealth. But first you have to ask for more money and the sooner you do it the better.
Here’s how to go about it.
Eleven ways to get paid what you are really worth
1 Get the knowledge. Find out how much other people in your line of work get paid. When I started in journalism I made a point of asking a friend senior to me in the business how much she earned and how much she thought I should earn. Now she always tells me everything she knows about pay standards in our industry and I tell her. Also visit recruitment websites or call a recruitment consultant. If you feel able to ask colleagues what they make go ahead (a few drinks might help here). Next visit www.paywizard.co.uk (it doesn’t give much detail but it will help you to see the range of pay on offer for jobs similar to yours). Finally, get your personnel department to show you the firm’s pay data. You can’t ask to see what individuals are paid but you can see a breakdown of pay by sex, which might help your case a little. Knowledge is power – no one can argue with you if you have the right facts to hand and you have a good case.
2 Do your own PR. Women aren’t programmed to shout about their achievements in the same way that men are but the more you let people know both that you exist and how well you are doing the more they will remember you. Perhaps you can keep your boss aware of your progress on a weekly basis. I don’t mean going into their office at the same time every Friday to bore them with the details of how special you are, I just mean that you should make sure that every week they are copied in on an email that makes you look good or that you regularly mention any positive feedback from colleagues or customers. You also want to be sure that you aren’t overlooked. You need to speak up in meetings whenever you get the chance (even if you aren’t convinced your contribution will be an exceptionally good one – when did that ever stop a man?). When the time comes to ask for a rise collect evidence to show that you do your job adequately. It’s nice if you do your job particularly well but you only need to do it averagely to get paid the going rate for it. Also make a list of any achievements, especially if you can show that they have affected the firm’s bottom line (in a good way) and get together any comments or letters of praise or thanks from suppliers or clients. Then take them all in with you. Remember that a key part of doing well – of being promoted and of being paid more – is self-promotion. Don’t ever be too modest. When you were at school if you worked hard you automatically got As. But this isn’t school and there is no exam that tells people what you should be paid. You have to tell them yourself.
3 Be objective. Forget how much you feel you are worth. This isn’t about your self-esteem; it’s about an objective assessment of your market worth. And asking for more money isn’t rude. It’s perfectly normal.
4 Don’t wait too long. There’s no need to wait for an annual pay review. You can ask for more money at any time. The worst that can happen is that the answer will be no.
5 Begin as you mean to go on. When you start a job don’t accept the first salary offered. Immediately try to bump it up a bit. The higher a base you start from the faster your salary will rise.
6 Start high and expect to be argued down. Know what the minimum you will accept is before you start negotiating.
7 Never threaten to resign unless you really mean it. If you don’t get what you want and you then don’t resign your position will be permanently undermined.
8 Don’t assume no means no. Ask for another review in six months. Also consider asking for non-cash options – perhaps more training or more flexible hours, time off to study, or a day working at home. Ask if you can be sure of a pay rise if you hit particular targets; ask to have set objectives you will be judged against.
9 Ask on a Wednesday afternoon. A recent survey from Office Angels found that four out of five employers are at their most receptive to pay demands in the middle of the week and in the afternoon.
10 Use the law. If you really think you are paid less than a man for broadly similar work and none of the above has worked you will need to take it further via the legal system. Under the Equal Pay Act you can write to your employer asking for information to help to establish if you are getting equal pay and if not why not. Download a list of the questions you can ask from the EOC website on www.eoc.org.uk. If you remain convinced you are being discriminated against but your employer still refuses you a rise, write a letter of grievance to them. Wait 28 days for a reply. They should then set up a meeting to discuss the situation. You can take a union representative or colleague with you. If your grievance is not upheld you can and should then appeal against the
