job changes
On my way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zoë Clarke – 4/1/00, 12.14pm
to… Carla Browne
cc…
re… fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking shit, fuck!!!
God, you poor fucking cow!!! This place doesn’t deserve you!!!!!! Got to do some urgent copying now!!!!! The stupid hippie is screaming for it!!!! I’d ask Susi to help, if she wasn’t such a bitch!!!!! See you at lunch – you need a friend right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Zxxx
4/1/00, 12.30pm (2.30pm local)
cc…
re… Coke
So, you await for your Coca-Cola documentation? Oh, how I sympathise with your plight! Before Christmas already I am asking for new light bulbs in the executive toilet, and still I am dangling. Both cubicles one and two are in gloomiest black pitchness and it is only because I did so much night training during my national service that I am able to avoid brown-staining embarrassment!
Perhaps we should place the issue of staff respondingness at the top of the agenda at the forthcoming Miller Shanks CEO Conference in Waikiki.
Aloha! Pertti
Zoë Clarke – 4/1/00, 2.23pm
to… Carla Browne
cc…
re… this shit hole!!!!
God, it was good to get out of here at lunch!! Hope you feel better!!!!!! Remember what I said – I think you should definitely, definitely leave!!!!! You’re my best friend in the world and I don’t know how I could work here without you!!!!! But you’ve got to think of yourself, and you’re better than this place!!!!! Zxxx
Zoë Clarke – 4/1/00, 2.27pm
to… Rachel Stevenson
cc…
re… job changes
Rachel, thanks so much for the offer. I’m so excited that Mr Crutton suggested me for the position. Obviously it entails extra responsibility and is a big step up. As I said I would, I’ve given it a lot of thought over lunch. In the end, though, it’s an easy decision to make. I’d be thrilled to accept – Zoë
Carla Browne – 4/1/00, 2.29pm
to… Zoë Clarke
cc…
re… this shit hole!!!!
I don’t know what I’d do without you, Zoë!!!!!! You’re the only one in this stupid bloody place that stops me from going mad!!!!!!!!!! I do feel better, and I’ve decided that I’m not going to resign!!!!!!!!! I can’t let those bastards win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cxxx
Zoë Clarke – 4/1/00, 2.41pm
to… Carla Browne
cc…
re… fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In-fucking-credible!!!!!!! That two-faced, lying cow, Rachel, has only gone and offered me the Crettin job!!!!!!!!! I mean, doesn’t she know we’re best friends in the world?!!! The thing is, though, I think I’ve got to say yes. Before you go mad, I don’t want to, but I don’t really have a choice! It is 5k more and I’ve got a massive Barclaycard bill to pay off and my gas is about to be cut off!!!!! And you really, really didn’t want it, did you?!!!!!! Oh, God, what am I gonna do?!!!!!!!!! … Zxxx
Pinki Fallon – 4/1/00, 2.52pm
to… Ken Perry
cc…
re… emergency!
I think we need some of your maintenance guys to help us out here. There’s been a bit of an incident between Zoë Clarke and one of the other girls. Zoë’ll need a new desk lamp and PC, unless you can get the potting compost from the yucca out of her floppy drive. Also, there’s a bit of blood on one of the carpet tiles. It’s only a small cut, so no need for first-aid. Ta …
Simon Horne – 4/100, 2.55pm
to… Susi Judge-Davis
cc…
re… hormonal women
Darling, have those dreadful girls finished their caterwauling yet? What was that commotion? I have to see David with a Mako idea and I would like to make it to his office with life and limb intact.
Susi Judge-Davis – 4/1/00, 2.56pm
to… Simon Horne
cc…
re… hormonal women
The coast is clear, sweetie … Sx
Carla Browne – 4/1/00, 3.05pm
to… All Departments
re… fuck the fucking lot of you!!!!!!!
I’m leaving now, but before I go there’s some things you should know!!!!!!!
• Zoë Clarke is a lying slag and she gave Simon Horne a BJ at last year’s D&AD.
• She swallowed.
• Daniel Westbrooke keeps tarts’ phone cards in his desk drawer.
• David Crutton buys his coke off Vince Douglas.
• Crutton also spent £3,500 in one night at a table-dancing club and put it through on his expenses as ‘qualitative research fees’.
• You can all fuck off and die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel Stevenson – 4/1/00, 3.09pm
to…
